Login   Sign Up 



 

First Sight

by John G.Hall 

Posted: 06 January 2004
Word Count: 142
Summary: The Watcher watched


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


First Sight.


The burning bridge behind me, entrance to my history
silhouetted by flaming seconds, the licks of my days.
A timeless ticking bomb disguised as beating heart
and blue eyes, tearing forever once the rough death
of smooth snapping skin and the coming cry of breath.

Now touch is given creation, the greatest Braille
slipped through fingers, a rosary of lost sensations.
Lovers hair combed in secret, the morning chorus
our synchronised breathing, we took sharp curves
and found the nervous fit in our blind feeling edges.

The endless next calls through purple curtains,
the brass bell rings, the incense chokes, candles
smoke the marble, Gods inglorious invitation drops.
Dumb refusal curls on rebel angel lips, never looking
down while falling. Yet, up the telescope I am travelling
like a look towards the mind that first thought to watch.



John G.Hall©2003






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



The Walrus at 15:55 on 07 January 2004  Report this post
John

I liked this alot, particularly:

'the licks of days'
and
'rebel angel lips'

However, being a little dense, I am not exactly sure what it's about??

The Walrus

Account Closed at 20:20 on 07 January 2004  Report this post
Very intense and dramatic stuff - enjoyed the use of last couplet rhyme in the first verse - can this be used in the other verses too or am I just having a "rhyme or bust" moment??

There's a heck of a lot in here and part of me wonders if in fact it's not a longer poem asking to be written - is there an argument for drawing out some of this wonderful imagery and leading your reader on a longer poetic journey? - the strength of the piece would certainly draw them along.

Amazing imagery and power!

Anne B


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .