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Weep

by Rai15 

Posted: 06 January 2004
Word Count: 99


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Block out the noise
Play out your soul
Speak out your mind
Feel the heart beat faster

Stop and stare at us
Peasant spirits in our eyes
Gazing back at you
Screaming souls of adoration

Tear ourselves apart inside
that we could never know you
Breathe easy in revelation
the normality aura you possess

Cry into paradise
surrounded by splendour
the beauty you created

Smile in joy
our lives you’ve saved
hearts you’ve freed

Art deserves thanks
for your heart and soul
But, you deserve art
My heart and soul
body, mind and blood
tears to let you know.






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Comments by other Members



Fearless at 17:00 on 06 January 2004  Report this post
I like this piece of soul. One quibble (and I am ready to be corrected by better poets than me) - 'the normality aura you possess' doesn't quite flow for me.

'the free flowing aura you possess' sounds better, but as I am unclear on the subject matter, I know you can come up with something better (or stick to your conviction of what you originally wrote).

Nice piece. Write on Rai.

fearless

Rai15 at 17:07 on 06 January 2004  Report this post
Based on the subject (which I shant say yet - see who can guess) I'll leave it as 'normality' for now. Thanks for the comment & suggestion regardless.

-Rai-


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