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Wild Ocean
Posted: 04 January 2004
Word Count: 75
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The ink is bleeding from the pages of my world
my words are melting into a sea of emotion
my pen has run dry from such a time of use
is there much splendour left to scribe?
These liquid feelings are forming something else
something yet I do not understand
when I see the form that I have created
then truth will flow from my eyes
and once again I feel I could be loved.
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Comments by other Members
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 Bobo at 20:18 on 04 January 2004
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Beautiful words Rai. I pray your pen never runs dry, that you will forever find splendor and beauty in the world to describe.
BoBo x
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Fearless at 21:47 on 04 January 2004
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Rai,
I like this. The process of creation is often a labour of love, but what is created, wow, that's a whole other experience. I trust that you enjoy the creation of your lyrics, as much as we enjoy reading them. Thank you.
Fearless
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olebut at 09:37 on 05 January 2004
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Rai
beautiful imagery but may I suggest a small amendment replace the capital letters at the beginning of all but the first and fifth line by default the capitals make your poem more of a list and interrupt the flow, may be me being pedantic but I think the old convention of starting each line with a capital is incorrect and detracts from the beauty of any piece
take care
david
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roovacrag at 15:59 on 05 January 2004
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Power of the pen is unimaginable,let it flow.Say what your brain wants you to say and write it down. Go with the flow. Keep it up. xxx Alice
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roovacrag at 15:59 on 05 January 2004
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Power of the pen is unimaginable,let it flow.Say what your brain wants you to say and write it down. Go with the flow. Keep it up. xxx Alice
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Rai15 at 16:35 on 05 January 2004
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Thank you all very much. I do enjoy my writing, a lot. I took your advice, David, I thought that it made it flow better as well - I'm pedantic also.
Thanks everyone, reading all the response I get really cheers me up after school!
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olebut at 17:01 on 05 January 2004
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Rai
This may sound daft but a trick I use to see if things work is to read my poems out loud to myself several times this seems to ensure that punctuation and the general flow is as I want it although not always as others think it should be
take care
and keep writing
david
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Tina at 13:12 on 06 January 2004
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lovely images
the essence is beautiful
thank you
tina
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