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Face to face
Posted: 15 February 2012 Word Count: 59
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It is unnerving catching your expression in a child’s face.
Simple gestures mirrored with finesse, accurate in each subtle muscle, an innate echo.
The way he waves his hands when he’s talking, lifts an eyebrow in surprise, rests his foot on a kitchen chair and laughs, is all me.
I’d like to think it is a form of flattery.
Comments by other Members
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OrganOlive at 08:37 on 16 February 2012
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Hi nickb, I absolutely loved it and on reading it I can identify what I feel when I see my two years-old son. It made my day.
Thank you.
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Midnight_Sun at 09:02 on 16 February 2012
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Hi Nickb,
simple, succinct and like OrganOlive I loved it!
Thanks for sharing it.
Patricia
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SarahT at 14:21 on 16 February 2012
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Hi Nick,
I've nothing much to add about this. I think this is short, succinct and perfectly formed. I think the strength is in the last two lines. I certainly recognised myself in the experience of looking at your child from the outside until you read their behaviour as a 'form of flattery', which is almost because you still can't quite believe where they are from. Lovely!
Sarah
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V`yonne at 17:32 on 16 February 2012
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That is simple and lovely and I wouldn't change a thing. I don't have children but it came across strong even to me.
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nickb at 21:02 on 16 February 2012
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Thanks guys, it was written, as you can imagine, with a smile on my face.
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TessaF at 21:23 on 16 February 2012
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Hi Nick
All I can say is I agree with all of the above - a very warm-hearted poem which brings a smile to the face
Lovely!
T
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James Graham at 12:35 on 19 February 2012
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There’s very little if anything to criticise in this poem. You don’t waste words, you make each line count, and altogether it’s the kind of poem that takes a simple idea and communicates it tellingly - and, as Tessa says, warm-heartedly.
I find a fascinating ambiguity in the closing two lines. They could be read as ‘I’d like to think it’s a form of flattery - but I know it isn’t, it’s just what children do, and I happen to be the nearest model for imitation’. Or else maybe it is flattery, admiration - maybe the child is saying ‘I want to be like you’. Or a bit of both? I imagine most readers would see it this way, and that’s good - an open question or speculation at the end of a poem often engages the reader even more.
If you make a very simple change - ‘it’s’ for ‘it is’ in the second last line - the ending would be just a little less formal, which I think would be appropriate.
James.
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nickb at 20:54 on 20 February 2012
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Thanks James, you're right about the "it's", it reads better that way.
N
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