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by Douglas 

Posted: 21 April 2003
Word Count: 121
Summary: Long distance

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If you drew a straight line from the
moon that shines through my window to
me and carried on that line to yourself, then
the angle would be as sharp as the pain
that keeps me awake.
Do I enjoy sorrow and that orb
whose false energy is blurred by the
film that cups my eyes as I smile.
A smile with sadness in my eyes
( if you could see me as I look up to you )
that would drive you to push me
away as you try in dismay to
rid yourself of the troubles in life.
If you counted the pebbles on the
beach you would see that only one
of them is me.
And to cast that pebble into the sea ?

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Comments by other Members

Rai15 at 20:49 on 21 April 2003  Report this post
I love this piece, it is very effective with its words and it is very powerful.

Shadowgirl at 11:11 on 22 April 2003  Report this post
Yes, I love it too. I have been trying to analyse why, but it just one of those things I do instinctively love without a list od reasons. It is just good.

roger at 11:20 on 22 April 2003  Report this post
I don't do clever, well thought out, deep stuff. But I do respect it, and I respect this. The last line is so poignant.

Shadowgirl at 11:23 on 22 April 2003  Report this post
Excuse me Douglas - far be it for me to get you involved in our maritial disputes - but Roger DOES do clever and therefore he is well qualified to answer. He pretends he's thick - he even pretends he comes from Derby to continue the illusion...as if?!!!

shotgun45 at 20:04 on 21 April 2005  Report this post
Most modern poetry goes straight over my head, but this didn't. I found it poignant, emotive and I too just love it. I look forward to reading more poems like it.

joanie at 22:49 on 06 April 2008  Report this post
Random read... I enjoyed this so much! It's beautiful.


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