Login   Sign Up 



 

Haiku Christmas

by dharker 

Posted: 22 October 2011
Word Count: 9


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


Anticipation grows,
cinnamon scent, toys abound,
patience, Christmas Eve.






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



tusker at 19:11 on 22 October 2011  Report this post
For me, Dave, its a Hauki, but I'm not a true expert.

Enjoyed the anticipation.

Jennifer

V`yonne at 23:22 on 22 October 2011  Report this post
I thought maybe the anticipation should come first and the toys last? Cinnamon - reminds me I must get my cake baked

Findy at 07:16 on 23 October 2011  Report this post
Enjoyed this, nice images.

findy

Nella at 08:57 on 23 October 2011  Report this post
Very nice, Dave. It says so much in that short space.

I thought maybe flip "Christmas Eve" and "anticipation grows" around.

Robin

Desormais at 10:28 on 23 October 2011  Report this post
Lovely one Dave, I think it turns on the word 'anticipation' so I agree, it should come earlier.

Sandra

dharker at 10:54 on 23 October 2011  Report this post
If I flipped anticipation and Christmas Eve would it still be Haiku?I

dharker at 11:02 on 23 October 2011  Report this post
Amendment made... And what a difference! Thank you

V`yonne at 15:18 on 23 October 2011  Report this post
It's always worth flipping haiku a few tyimes to see what works best. It's amazing how you can get a totally different impression form the same words!

dharker at 16:08 on 23 October 2011  Report this post
Thanks Oonah! Apprecaited as always!

Dave


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .