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Who am I ?

by Ling Ling 

Posted: 19 December 2003
Word Count: 142
Summary: Just an observation, even the tip of the iceberg - Who knows?


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Devil spelt backwards
read's lived I am told?
But thats just a fraction
of all I behold.

A wail like the Banshee
when pushed to the edge,
A voice urging me to stop,
when stood on the ledge.

As tender as snowflakes
that melt in the heat,
with a heart full of love
and kisses so sweet.

A hard faced business woman,
So fearless to boot.
As laid back as the hippy
who doesn't give a hoot.

A fighter for the rights
of the weak and the cheated.
Determination to succeed,
that wont be defeated!

Tell me you know me and I'll -
give you the next chapter.
There's sorrow, there's pain,
then side splitting laughter.

Read me like a book you just
cant put down, then look into
the eye's of the woman unknown -
Do you know who I am?






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Comments by other Members



Fearless at 09:35 on 20 December 2003  Report this post
Ling-Ling

Refreshing piece, with a good use of rhythm - a bit like a rap. A couple of things:

- you could remove 'A' from the first line
- could replace 'A' with 'I' in the first line of the second stanza
- should be 'succeed' in the 3rd line of the fifth stanza

A very good piece, write on.

Fearless

Bobo at 13:45 on 20 December 2003  Report this post
Ling Ling - this piece flows so well. The powerful contrasts illustrated excellently the riddle of knowing self and knowing others. I particularly liked the penultimate stanza - it had a defiance and strength that brought the rest of the piece together.

Great!

BoBo x

Ling Ling at 15:28 on 23 March 2004  Report this post
Wouldn't it be great if someone really knew me? I have asked myself this on so many occasion's. I think we all long for someone to see beyond the external appearance of ourselves, and appreciate us for what's inside. Even if you are attractive and catch the eye of a passing stranger, wouldn't it be great to be worshipped for being a great person instead of a being a nice shape, or a pretty face? Ling Ling x


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