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Anger Management
Posted: 16 December 2003
Word Count: 54
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sit still
all tied up alone
cold red eyes
solidified in rage
if you can reach
punch the wall
kick the bed
roar destruction
bleed pure hatred
break all your bones
become concussed
beat it out
cry acid tears
of sick anger
explode forever
scream
no metaphors
no similies
no symbolism
I Hate You.
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Comments by other Members
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 Fearless at 19:24 on 16 December 2003
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Rai
No ambiguity either! Should 'concust' in the tird stanza be 'concussed'? As one who tends towards dark poetry, I like the feeling of anger and hatred, but I don't feel the tense body - on edge, the shortness of breath, as all the body's resources are given over to this outburst. Perhaps its just me. In any case, a good effort, and I hope it makes you feel better.
Fearless
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Rai15 at 19:27 on 16 December 2003
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Bad day, and i just wrote it in the upload work bit, no spellchecker. In fact really bad day, that's why it's just an outburst. Thanks for your comment.
-Rai-
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The Walrus at 21:34 on 16 December 2003
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Blimey, powerful stuff Rai. Don't happen to agree with Fearless on this... I do feel the 'tense body' - it is shouting and screaming at me. It speaks clearly, violently and movingly.
The Walrus
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Rai15 at 21:49 on 16 December 2003
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Many thanks, i appreciate your comments very much. Thank you.
-Rai-
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roovacrag at 05:43 on 17 December 2003
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I liked this. I can feel a temper but not a strong hatred, that comes from being in the real world and have seen much. Comes with age as well.A great effort well done. xxAlice
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Bobo at 10:59 on 17 December 2003
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Rai - this really reaches off the screen to grab the reader by the throat! Powerful, indeed! I like the very matter-of-fact style in which it's written - it makes it all the more intoxicating.
BoBo x
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poemsgalore at 18:33 on 17 December 2003
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This is good, because the focus of the hate is ambiguous. Is it you, or someone else either way it works well.
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Rai15 at 16:49 on 23 December 2003
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Thank you all for commenting, and of course Merry Christmas.
-Rai-
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EmiliaDG at 16:00 on 26 March 2004
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Now, this I like a lot Rai. In this poem you maintain that simplistic style but use it to full effect. This is great - really gripping and raw.
Emilia
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