Grandmother`s Circus
Posted: 15 April 2011 Word Count: 250 Summary: For Jonathan's challenge
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My grandmother held out her hand. Above our heads, the sea was capped with rigid white waves from where mermaids waved. A penguin nun emerged from a door cut into an underwater cliff. Entering a palace of clowns dressed in shells swinging from ropes of seaweed, we sat upon the backs of whales while sea horses served us tiny sausages wrapped in thin, succulent kelp. As we ate, the Ring Master, Walrus Blubber, twitched his long, thick whiskers.
Then my grandmother rose and I watched her swim to the centre of the room bedecked with coral carvings. From a golden door, five octopus entered, waving their long legs and, at my grandmother’s silent command, they began to dance and, as the octopus danced, swirling around her, their skins changed into a kaleidoscope of colours. Later, after watching seals bounce yellow sponges on their noses, my grandmother lead me back through the door holding me close until we swam up to the surface. On reaching a mottled, limpet covered boulder, we clambered up onto it and sat in silence for a long moment.
As if sensing my confusion, my grandmother said, ‘It was real, Sophie. It’s our secret.’
As we walked along the coastal path towards my grandparents travelling circus, I glanced down at the sea and caught the flash of a silver mermaid’s tail in azure blue water. In the near distance, we could hear the yapping of my grandmother’s dancing poodles and could smell the aroma of fried onions.
Comments by other Members
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Desormais at 16:07 on 15 April 2011
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This is beautiful Jennifer, rich in sights, smells and sounds. Some terrific imagery. Well done!
Sandra
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Kali at 16:29 on 15 April 2011
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Really rich and evocative. When I read this part:
Entering a palace of clowns dressed in shells swinging from ropes of seaweed... |
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I said, Oh I want to be there!
Fabulous.
-Steph
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dharker at 16:42 on 15 April 2011
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Very Yellow Submarine! Excellent contrast between the "reality" of circus life and the fantasy beneath the waves. Beautifully told Jennifer! Thank You!
Dave
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tusker at 06:41 on 16 April 2011
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Many thanks Sandra, Steph and Dave, glad you all enjoyed it.
Jennifer
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Neezes at 16:48 on 19 April 2011
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Wow, it's certainly surreal, and incredibly visual! I liked it a lot,
Jonathan
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fiona_j at 18:34 on 19 April 2011
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Hello,
This is a very interesting story, full of wonderful descriptions. It felt very odd, with you holding back who they were until they end. I liked the fact that they ended up being human too.
Well done!
Fi
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Kali at 19:52 on 19 April 2011
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More kudos, Jennifer I read this to my son (6 yrs old) for bedtime. He was all smiles.
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tusker at 06:59 on 20 April 2011
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Thanks Fi.
Sorry to mystify you at the start. Glad you liked it.
Jennifer
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tusker at 07:06 on 20 April 2011
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I'm so happy that your 6 year old enjoyed this and made him smile, Steph.
I managed to get 2 childrens stories published in a mag years ago. The stories came by accident and I was amazed they liked them. Writing for children can be tricky. So I'm chuffed with your comment.
Jennifer
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