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Streetfighting Pro

by firethorne 

Posted: 03 April 2011
Word Count: 351
Summary: First attempt at first person . Character gets set up for a street fight, after hours ,in a pub . In a slightly alternative universe something has replaced bare knuckle fighting and evolved as a martial art. Warning : Some bricklayers/laborers swearing, and symbolic violence.


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My opponent's in The Lounge next door. I can hear his crew getting louder , laughing nastier, and they're banging on the tables for it to start.

Iím in the Tap Room with my crowd, and theyíre giving me last minute advice. Like if they hadnít had six pints ,these feckers would even have a Scoob what they are talking about?

"He's a Pro., turned street fighter."

"He mixes styles, does bit of old school."

"Yeah, kept him at long range, then he went in close, Japanese style."

"Finished him wi' a cutter."

"Lightening he were."

I'm thinking maybe the guy's coming at me with a Kat. That's a Katana, C18th Samurai for 'blade' . No one said nothing about tools . That's just the nerves chattering, don't listen to 'em.

The pub bell rings . My legs really donít want to work . Somehow I make it to the Function Room. It's all smoke and spotlights and theyíve cleared the tables back.

My opponent's in the middle of the floor loosening his neck and rolling his shoulders . Heís clocked me and itís eyeball time . It all goes dead quiet .

I walk up to him till Iím nearly in his face, keeping my hands behind my back . He doesnít blink. I donít blink. Thereís just one bead of sweat breaking on his forehead and it's about to trickle down the inside of his glasses.

The microphone drops from the ceiling on a piece of string, Our wrists are ceremonially bound behind our backs with silk cord, then we're strutting and circling 'round each other like fighting cocks, reaching, testing, stepping in and out, word jabbing , rolling out long lines of iambics ,finding our range.

I switch stance , tighten the metre:

"The evening sky is pale blue, already hardening to the blue of ice,
And the early stars are settling their delicate crown on this mountain's peak..."


The Professor smiles and casually rolls right under my guard,

" a minnow's flash
and the mountains tremble
on the lake "

I should have seen the upper-cut coming.









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Comments by other Members



fiona_j at 19:35 on 04 April 2011  Report this post
Hello,

This is very interesting. I think your attempt at first person is very good. You build up the story very well, like a real fight. I was half expecting them to start fighting on a computer game. It sounds a little like those freestyle rap battles.

I'm not sure why, but the ending feels a little weak. I don't know much about poetry unfortunately so maybe I've missed the difference between each opponents lines.

I think it's very good though, quite thoughtful.

Fi



firethorne at 21:00 on 04 April 2011  Report this post

Thanks Fi,

It's about the efficiency of one style over another and an inter- morphing of martial arts and poetic terms and what could happen if we chose to act out aggression with words, ie do combat in non violent ways.

Actually it's also my attempt to begin to understand poetry. I might even be able to write some, one day.

Motive motive for writing poetry? Well, apart from a worthwhile end in itself ,I've possibly got a deal going down with a poet here , who might review a Guns N Roses track if I can come up with an original poem that meets the grade.


Andy




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