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Sweet Dream

by M. Close 

Posted: 28 March 2011
Word Count: 50
Summary: Not sure it fits the challenge....it's a stretch...but you can get there :)


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Sweet Dream

long day working hard or hardly working

muscles ache, bones weary

evening beckons, sweet dream awaits

slipping into slumber, anticipating

sweet dream brings joy, laughter

playful passion, blossom's gentle fragrance

bright light of dawn, sweet dream goes

memory remains, smiles ease the day

working hard or hardly working







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Comments by other Members



Nella at 16:21 on 28 March 2011  Report this post
Mike, you're back!

I like the way this ends up where it started -
working hard or hardly working

I wondered whether more line breaks would make it read a little more easily.

Robin
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tusker at 11:50 on 29 March 2011  Report this post
A good one, Mike.

It has a lazy feel to it in a nice way, if you get what I mean.

I too like the repetition at the start and end.

Jennifer
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jenzarina at 21:37 on 30 March 2011  Report this post
This has a lovely dream-like quality to it, although slightly sinister as the dream takes on more substance here than reality to me.
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FelixBenson at 11:55 on 31 March 2011  Report this post
Hi Mike,

I agree with the others, I like the cycle that the poem goes through. And the repeated line is good and really does gain from that repetition. Ah how I relate to that!


long day working hard or hardly working
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crowspark at 22:46 on 02 April 2011  Report this post
An alluring poem, Mike. Like others I like the repetition of
working hard or hardly working

Thought provoking the way that dream and waking merge one to the other in your poem.

Thanks for the read.

Bill
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