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help
Posted: 07 January 2003 Word Count: 26
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there you are standing by the open door, your face a blur in the darkness. i wait for you to turn but the light goes on i blink suddenly and there you were, gone.
Comments by other Members
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Agnieszka Ryk at 04:48 on 08 January 2003
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I like this kind of enigmatic poem - it leaves you to imagine the circumstances and reasons by only stating things in a general way. I'm interested in the structure - turn and gone seem to be there to mirror each other as singke word lines - was this intended? Can you give us some insights into how you put it together?
Thanks
AR
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Anna Reynolds at 11:42 on 08 January 2003
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thank you- it's always hard to analyze your own poetry but it's great to have a response.
anna
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Ernest Smythe at 14:35 on 10 January 2003
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Hey Anna - nice poem. I'm impressed that yours is the most popular piece on the site - it must have something to it!
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Glimity at 13:33 on 04 May 2003
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Hi Anna
I was drawn to read this poem by the date it was uploaded (my birthday) and now that I've read it, I'm pleased that I did.
I love to read poems that leave me questioning. Yours certainly does that. It doesn't spell out everything for me, so I'm left with delightful questions - "why was 'you' standing by the door?" "why was the light out in the first place?", etc. These are questions that I can happily answer for myself - create my own storyline behind the poem.
I love the last 2 lines "there you were, gone". They're deliciously contradictary because how can someone be there if they're gone. I love it!
Since this is your first poetry attempt - well done! It's 100% better than my first attempt ever was!
regards
Jennifer
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poemsgalore at 13:19 on 18 May 2003
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I took this two ways, first it could be a real person who the writer is seeing, or they were imagining them until the light revealed they weren't there at all. I love a little mysticism in poetry, an ambiguity of meaning that leaves the reader to wonder....
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Adam at 16:36 on 16 June 2003
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Dear Anna,
I really like this poem. It has an almost melancholic quietude about it. Even more so, though, it has this enigmatic intangibility that seems to be at the crux of the poem (the 'help' of the title? a lover? a supernatural apparition? religion?) Please don't answer that, as the poem requires a certain sense of mystery and intrigue. A very delicate balance between pithy descriptions and dislocated rhythms. The contradictory final lines ('there you were, / gone') really works. Well done!
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olebut at 20:59 on 20 June 2003
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How often do we half see something which our eyes tell us is there and our brain can quite compute it one of the enigmas of life ( or perhaps death)
a nice poem Anna
thank you
Dvaid
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Barney at 20:57 on 18 August 2003
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And there I was, going to ask you if you did poetry! Another string to your bow! (I never did understand that phrase)
Thanks for your comments on my work. In response to your query I do write prose, but I think I'll test the water here before I unleash it on an unsuspecting public!
As for the poetry site I have found myself on, how do I go about suggesting a rename? Obviously as it stands it will attract only desperados like myself and those like you who take pity on new blood!
Thanks
Barney
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crowspark at 22:55 on 24 April 2004
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I like the ambiguity of the poem and the way it sets up an expectation and exits with measured promptness. For me the poem seems to pivot (appropriately) on the word "turn" (am I stating the obvious?) very neat and inviting interpretation or identification (optimistic/pessimistic, is it funny or very sad or neutral - life's like that).
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