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The Harvester

by Katy Kat 

Posted: 10 February 2011
Word Count: 237
Summary: This is my effort for the 'Opening' challenge!


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Later it seemed that no one could remember when the posters had first appeared.

'Opening soon! The Harvester Bar. Are you aged between 15 and 25? Don't miss the experience of a lifelime! Admission Free!'

Over several weeks the derelict dance hall in Blackport town centre had been renovated. There was much speculation amongst young and old alike as to what exactly the Harvester Bar might be, bearing in mind that it is illegal to serve alcohol to 15 year olds. Seemingly it was to remain the best kept secret in town.

Finally opening night arrived and a buzz of anticipation and excitement rippled through the very long queue that had formed outside the venue. It seemed as though every young person in Blackport and surrounding districts had turned up for the event along with a handful of reporters and photographers from the local newspaper.

At 9pm precisely,some 150 youngsters crowded into the Harvester Bar and the doors closed behind them.

Witnesses reported that around 10pm a low humming sound could be heard from within the building and the main street was flooded with light. The pavements shuddered and windows in surrounding buildings shattered as the roof of the Harvester slid away and a cigar shaped craft emerged from within. It hovered above the building for a few seconds before it shot upwards at enormous speed.

With very few exceptions the youth of Blackport had been harvested.







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Comments by other Members



Desormais at 15:59 on 10 February 2011  Report this post
Simple, succinct and very effective. Welcome Katy Kat, and well done!

tusker at 16:11 on 10 February 2011  Report this post
I too enjoyed this, Kate.

Loved the surprise end being a fan of The X Files, sadly gone from our screens.

Jennifer

<Added>

Good title too. There I was thinking it was going to be a well-known foodie pub.

Manusha at 17:22 on 10 February 2011  Report this post
Hi Katy Kat,

The same thing happened in our town last month. Been going on a lot apparently. Someone really ought to do something about it!

A nice bit of fun, Kate. I liked the mystery of it being a Bar yet 15 year olds were allowed in. Got my interest straight away.

Regards, Andy

Katy Kat at 17:23 on 10 February 2011  Report this post
Thank you Sandra and Jennifer! Your kind comments are very welcome as I haven't written for a few years now and my confidence is a bit low. It feels good to have a challenge again.

kate

Bunbry at 18:08 on 10 February 2011  Report this post
Welcome to the group Katy, this is a fine debut - good set up, nice clever ending. Well done!

Nick

dharker at 18:18 on 10 February 2011  Report this post
Excellent story Kate! Lovely build up, bit of a mystery then into a brilliant twist... loved it!
Dave

Cornelia at 18:38 on 10 February 2011  Report this post
Nice one. There's a Harvester near us and I won't be going into it after reading this.

typo alert

bearing in mind that 15 year olds aren't to be served


should be weren't to be served, I think.


Sheila

<Added>

Sorry, that's not what you meant. Maybe it would be better as:

bearing in mind that it's illegal to serve alcohol to under-sixteens

or just put in 'allowed' after aren't

Katy Kat at 19:53 on 10 February 2011  Report this post
Thank you Nick, Dave and Sheila. I appreciate your comments very much - and yes you are right Sheila - I think I need to reword that sentence.

PS: Whatever you do, stay away from the Harvester!! ;

Kate

Prospero at 07:23 on 11 February 2011  Report this post
HI Katy

I must admit I tumbled early on, but enjoyed this well-written tale anyway. There are a lot of people in this country would happily shovel youth into such a venue if would reduce the numbers hanging around making mischief.

Thanks for the read.

Best

John

Katy Kat at 08:38 on 11 February 2011  Report this post
Funnily enough John I had been thinking along very similar lines! Thanks for reading and kind comments. Kate

tractor at 08:49 on 11 February 2011  Report this post
Hi Katy,

liked this. Very clean writing with a twist in the title and a twist in the tale.

Cheers

Mark

Katy Kat at 08:59 on 11 February 2011  Report this post
Thanks Mark!

Best wishes
Kate


V`yonne at 00:12 on 12 February 2011  Report this post
Welcome Kate. I totally agree with Prosp Nicely written and despite thinking it was bound to be a pied piper story, I really liked it because as Prosp popinted out, a lot of us would love to get rid of certain 15 year olds...

Katy Kat at 09:42 on 12 February 2011  Report this post
Thanks Oonah. Ah! 15 year olds! Yes indeed! ;

Kate

crowspark at 10:48 on 13 February 2011  Report this post
I loved this, Kate.
My two suggestions for what it's worth
do 15 year olds "file" - maybe a more anarchic verb?
do you need Bar in
The pavements shuddered and windows in surrounding buildings shattered as the roof of the Harvester Bar slid away and a cigar shaped craft emerged from within.

A smart flash.
Welcome back!

Bill

Katy Kat at 11:00 on 13 February 2011  Report this post
Hi Bill! Lovely to hear from you again. It's like I never went away. Well I didn't really go away - just wandered off for a while there!

Thanks for reading and commenting. You are so right. It's been a while since I had a 15 year old but now you mention it..! And yes. Bar is gone too.

Best wishes
Kate

OklyDokly at 18:58 on 17 February 2011  Report this post
You've had lots of comments on this one.

Deservedly too . I really enjoyed it. Good sense of mystery. At the end, I was reading it thinking what the hell's going on, and then I was pleasantly surprised. Made me chuckle .

Katy Kat at 19:17 on 17 February 2011  Report this post
Thanks for reading and kind comments Christopher! It's surprising how many people would raise no objections at all to the harvesting of 15 year olds!!! Hahah! Best wishes
Kate


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