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Across the Maas

by Sazmac 

Posted: 10 December 2003
Word Count: 153
Summary: Written whilst working in Rotterdam and being homesick for the hills. Originally called my sheep are on the dyke

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A storm is raging outside this autumn
In this land of water.
The trees wrenched from their roots
Fly high and lie broken
Then wasted on the polder.
I pace restless, seeking the high ground.
This land barely clings on
Holding on, maintained by a
Wall of sand.
I head north each time seeking
The frozen calm of winter.
Waiting, for the descent into
Hibernation and ice
But the rivers run even deeper now and flow
Where they have not before
(Daddy can we go and look at
the water again).
And then north to the flat water;
A boat which brought us home
From a far away land,
In Rotterdams waters once again.
Out across the Maas with the waves
A city has never seen so alive
As another storm brews
Tempest within my soul.
Waves break with salt and oil
I taste the sea
I want to taste you once more.

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Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 20:57 on 10 December 2003  Report this post
I know the feeling, like putting your finger in the dyke but wanting to come home.Well written hope to read more. xx alice

Anna Reynolds at 21:49 on 10 December 2003  Report this post
Sazmac, this is rather beautiful- full of longing and almost resentment and frustration. 'A city has never seen so alive' is presumably 'A city has never seemed so alive', or am I just being too literal? Love the intensity of the language.

Sazmac at 12:38 on 11 December 2003  Report this post
Thanks for the encouragement for firstpost.

Alice - Thanks for the note. Yes, but you cant leave if your finger is in the dyke..

Anna - thanks for picking up the longing, resentment, frustration etc. Longing for control when everything is out of control. Yes and it should be "a city has never seemed so alive". I wonder if I am allowed to edit - I will give it a go.

Thank you to both of you for reading.


Fearless at 16:29 on 15 December 2003  Report this post

This is a fine piece; write on


miffle at 10:37 on 27 May 2004  Report this post
Sazmac, I like the links established between the landscape / the physical storm and your inner landscape / storm here. A sense that the poem is a bit of a sand wall too, I thought i.e. a fragile structure only just succeeding in holding a suppressed rage in.

A few more detailed thoughts:

'polder' sounds very Dutch (?) I am sure I should remember that word from Geography lessons - but I don't!

'fragile' - wondered if you needed this adjective ? To me the 'wall of sand' suggests 'fragility' and I think if it were me I might lift, this out (?)

What are the 'Maas' (?)

All the best, Miffle


* Also I might be tempted to life 'There is' in the first line and jump right in to the storm (?) 'A storm...' (?)


meant 'tempted to lift' !

Sazmac at 10:42 on 28 May 2004  Report this post
Hi Miffle, and thank you for taking the trouble to go back to this for me. I think your comments help a lot

i will remove fragile - you are right - the sand is by nature a fragile barrier, which shifts and moves and i think the rhythm is better. Also

and the first line - again - it think

" A storm is raging..." sounds less clumsy


Polder is a piece of land below sea level reclaimed from the sea
Maas is the big river that runs out through rotterdam.

Interesting about the rage bit... more of a passion - perhaps i need to think about how i conveyed that.

I will edit and thanks


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