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First Date

by Jubbly 

Posted: 28 October 2010
Word Count: 248
Summary: My attempt at the 328 challenge, it's a re worked oldie.

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Of all the replies to his personal ad, he liked hers best.

"My name's Josie."

"I'm Bill."

Of course neither was telling the truth.

They enjoyed drinks in an unfamiliar bar and for the first time in a long time, he felt happy. He liked her, they laughed and it turned out they had a lot in common.

Shared interests, indoor bowling, chess, reading Dickens and watching ER.

So pretty, he thought as she pulled her hair high above her head in a makeshift ponytail, which he took to be a nervous gesture. She was a real maybe - not like the others.

What a terrible shame.

But he could feel the woven ligature hidden in his trouser pocket, against his thigh, just begging for a quick release date.

The excitement of what it was capable of was far preferable to a long-term relationship.

"Come back to mine?" she said.

“Why not.” He smiled.

They walked slowly through the park, footsteps marking time.

His pulse rate quickened as he linked arms with his potential victim, now he thought, now. But just as he was about to strike she planted a wet ruby red lipstick kiss on his mouth and pushed him back against a tree, trapping him with her lithsome body.

As he slid to the ground, blood pouring from the wound in his abdomen she made her escape, clutching her neat little knife safely in her hand.

Yes! She thought, Yes, there’s really nothing quite like it.

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Comments by other Members

dharker at 19:07 on 28 October 2010  Report this post
Midsomer Lovers Julie? Crazy and excellent at the same time... Loved it!

Elbowsnitch at 19:18 on 28 October 2010  Report this post
Nice twist, Julie - one of those pleasurable ones you can see coming, but they don't disappoint.

I especially like
she was a real maybe - not like the others.

What a terrible shame.

Not sure about 'lithsome' - would 'lithe' be better?


tusker at 09:16 on 29 October 2010  Report this post
I really enjoyed this tale of murder, Julie.

Loved the twist. Will she carry on her killing spree? I expect she will now she's got the taste for it.


Catkin at 12:05 on 29 October 2010  Report this post
Good twist! I didn't see that one coming.

Desormais at 15:03 on 29 October 2010  Report this post
I didn't see it coming either. Very good. The short sentences and paragraph spacing add to the rhythm of the story. Great read.

Bunbry at 12:00 on 30 October 2010  Report this post
I liked this a great deal Julie, a delicious ending!


Jubbly at 17:47 on 30 October 2010  Report this post
Thanks everyone,yes Frances you're right it should be lithe, doh. x

crowspark at 23:03 on 30 October 2010  Report this post
As enjoyable now as the first time I read it. ;
Memorable flash with a sharp twist.


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