Chapter 1 In the beginning…

Harry was a lazy fat boring cat in the day time, but at night and in times of national emergency, Harry was Double-ooh-Pussy, the special agent cat secretly saving the world from horrors.
Harry was suddenly, and if he must expand, he would say cruelly and rudely woken from his mid morning snoozle by the high pitched beeping of his collar. He stretched and yawned, catching a piece of his breakfast on his tongue. He hit his collar to stop the intolerable noise.
Tumbling down the stairs and taking the cat flap at record breaking speed he headed for the bushes in the garden. This time he made it to the pawrator in record time: 5 minutes and 15 seconds. This may seem a long time, but three minutes didn’t count as he had spent those squeezing his rather wobbly tummy through the cat flap.
He hit the pawrator a second time with frustration and the screen burst into life on the trunk of the tree. For those of you who are not used to the world of super spies, the pawrator is a paw shaped piece of wood. In fact that should have been easy to guess from the name.
“What do you want this time?” asked Harry
“Who are you?” croaked Dr Fester the high master of cat intelligence.
“Eh. You called me you daft old fool,” replied a grumpy Harry.
“Ah yes, I must have dozed off. Double Ooh Pussy, how fabulous to see you again.” he meowed.
“ So what’s the secret mission ?”
“Down to business,” said the ancient looking tabby cat on the screen, suddenly authoritive in his manner. “You have a frightful mission ahead double Oh Pussy.”
“Oh no. It’s fish for tea. Does it have to be today?” sighed Harry.
“Obviously, you ginger draft excluder. Anyway by the look of you, a few missed meals would do you some good,” sighed Dr Fester. “So chop chop off you go and do your stuff.”
“What eating? You haven’t told me what you want me to do?”
“ Oh yes, details to follow by the usual method,” with that Dr Fester winked as the screen went blank.
Harry waited for a bit and wandered off to his favourite rose bush, dug a hole and let out the most horrific noise not to mention smell.
“That’s better,” he said to himself trying to fill in the hole and not get any muck on his paws or chest. This time, he nearly was successful but had to flick his paw a few times. He sniffed it and went to find the hose. He did believe in hygiene.
“ Dum, dum, dum, dum,” he hummed to himself as he almost broke into a run, well a bit of a skip, and headed to the church yard which backed onto the garden.
Sitting on the third grave from the left, he looked around to make sure no one saw him and bounced three times. With a whoosh and a crash and another bang, which was surplus to requirements, the ground opened up. Double Ooh Pussy flew down the passageway and landed on a soft mattress in a dark corridor.
If you ever find the right grave, to activate it you must be rather large, walk on four paws and wear a ginger fur coat.
Wiping off a few cobwebs and a big hairy spider with seven skinny legs and an eighth trapped in the web, he strolled along the dark corridor lit by a few dingy bulbs. He sniffed his paw again.
“That’ll do,” he thought to himself pleased that the offensive smell had gone. Reaching the end of the corridor his thoughts of tea and having to use bleach on the offending paw were interrupted as the large wooden door swung open.
“I’ve been expecting you,” said a white fluffy cat sternly sitting behind a large desk. Miss Fluffy Toes had the brightest blue eyes and a matching diamante collar she paused and stared coldly at him, “ for at least 15 minutes.”
Harry sniffed his paw quickly and then held it out for her to shake.
“Just a little bottom trouble. Curry last night.” he tried to smile as charmingly as he possibly could.
Miss Fluffy Toes looked disgusted: “ Too much information Mr …”.
“Call me Double Ooh, Double Ooh Pussy,” he winked and twiddled his long ginger whiskers.” How about doughnuts later?”
“ No, and you’re not supposed to give your code name away!”
“ Everyone knows me.”
“ You’re meant to be a secret agent. Secret as in shh, hush hush, no one knows who you are.”
“I’ll have you know I’m the best they have! I’ll go straight in shall I?” and without waiting for a reply Harry marched towards the door behind her desk. He knocked and entered.
Sitting snoozing on a leather bean bag was a saggy Dr Fester, who jumped as the door opened.
“Oh hello, what a lovely surprise to see you,” said Dr Fester.
“ Surprise, you called me. Woke me in fact and I do believe that I’ve missed elevenses. So let’s get this show on the road. Where are the gadgets and the big shiny car. When do I get a ride in a big shiny car?”
“When you go to the vets. Not a pleasant experience. Now listen carefully. I’m going to give you some wet wipes.”
“ Wet wipes?”
“Yes, essential to clean those mucky mucky paws of yours. I need you to save the world. Do you think you’re up to it, Harry, I mean Double Ooh? “ Dr Fester sat up straight and gave a little cough.
“ I’m the best you have,” smiled Harry.
“ You’re all we have,” sighed Fester as he flicked a switch. A square hole opened in the middle of his desk and with a squeak a small television screen rose from the hole. Half way up it stopped, prompting Dr Fester to bang the desk.
“Needs a bit of oil,” he confided as the screen started to rise again. It flashed into life and on came a film of Dr Fester lying by a swimming pool wearing blue swimming trunks and sunglasses sipping a cool glass of milk and smiling an especially big smile for the camera.
“ Oh dear,” tutted Dr Fester as he hunted for the controls to switch it off, “ wrong film.”
“Really,” replied Harry,” lovely trunks, did you get them at Cat and Co.”
“ Well actually, they were in the sale, terribly good value,” he said mildly then stopped abruptly and sighed. “Never mind all that. Where were we? Yes Sneeky Sooty. He has escaped from jail and together with his henchmen, Nelly and Ridgy, he is planning to take over the world. Now what do you think of that?”
“Those two clumsy spaniels who keep tripping over their ears? Live just down the road? I thought they were my friends,” Harry looked a touch upset. “They invited me round to catch frogs in the pond.“
“Why wasn’t I invited?“ demanded Dr Fester. “Anyway, yes. Sneaky Sooty has infiltrated Snazzy’s Cat Biscuits and filled them with nasty pussy chemicals which will turn the cats into indestructible and very scary cats who will rule the world. Double Ooh Pussy it is your mission to stop them.”
“Not again.” sighed Harry reluctantly. “Did I hear you say biscuits? Mmh then again maybe.”

Chapter 2 Sooty plans world domination
Across town or at least across several gardens Sneaky Sooty was hanging out with his two new friends Nelly and Rigby and planning world domination.
“Under cover of darkness, we will break into the Waiting Roses supermarket and replace the boxes of Snazzy’s with our very own super biscuit, designed to produce massive and very nasty pussy cats who will be under my control.” he sniggered. “World domination will be mine.”
Rigby put up his paw.
“ Yes,” snapped Sooty, a sleek and trim black and white cat.
“ Can’t we go during the day?”
“ Er no, “ replied Sooty with an air of sarcasm. “In case you had forgotten you are a dog and I am a cat. Now, unless I’m very much mistaken that makes us health hazards to those pesky humans. In other words no, no, no, you can’t go into the shop.”
“What if we were to find a blind person and disguise ourselves as stupid Labradors?” asked Nelly.
“This is my cunning plan, so we will do it my way. Understood?” replied Sooty. “Operation Super Puss begins at midnight.”
“ I’ll need to bring my teddy and a torch,“ sighed Rigby.