Login   Sign Up 



 
Archive » tusker » Work
Archive »  Poetry » General » Work

Morning

by tusker 

Posted: 01 September 2010
Word Count: 12
Summary: For August Callenge: Haiku for Changes
Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


Robin sings his autumn song
on a bough bent with
ripened apples






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 14:15 on 01 September 2010  Report this post
Jennifer, I think that's another lovely haiku. I would make only one suggestion that would abbreviate the first line:

Robin sings autumn

It says the same thing shorter and it's very immediate.

I love the thought of the red breast in the ripened apples - that what good haiku is all about! You don't spell it out - you suggest it to the reader's mind. I was saying to Joanie that I'm going to post a link soon to a HAIKU competiton - maybe you should write some more and have a go!
Read the WriteWords interview with Oonah Joslin (V`yonne)
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Nella at 16:27 on 01 September 2010  Report this post
Beautiful image, Jennifer! I love it as is, but Oonah's suggestion is nice, too.
Robin
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

joanie at 18:32 on 01 September 2010  Report this post
Hi Jennifer - this is a beautiful image. I, too, picked up on the red apples and breast. Lovely. I wish I could send a photo of my crab apple tree, which is brimming with fruit as I write. I'm busy collecting jam jars!

Have a go at the Haiku competition - I'm looking out for Oonah's link.

joanie
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Findy at 07:32 on 02 September 2010  Report this post
This is lovely Jennifer, liked Oonah's suggestion for the first line.

Great image, I agree - you should send it out.

findy
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

 






Other work by tusker:      ...view all work by tusker