Login   Sign Up 



 

Leap of Faith

by M. Close 

Posted: 30 July 2010
Word Count: 336
Summary: Here's a bit of silliness for the Magnanimous Gesture challenge


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


In the blink of an eye, he found himself running headlong down a hill through a lush jungle. Vines, creepers and razor edged ferns grasping and slashing at him as he pounded through the thick growth in a valiant attempt to escape.....

They were right behind him, he could hear them crashing through the undergrowth. His khaki shorts and shirt were shredded, his exposed skin, torn and bleeding, his face, unrecognizable under the thick layer of mud and soot.

Suddenly, he burst out of the jungle onto a short clearing in front of a steep drop to a raging river below. In the micro second he had to assess the situation and react, he chose to carry on running at breakneck speed and leap out into the void after four or five quick steps, hopefully, far enough to land in the water and leave the pursuing hoard of carnivorous hamsters behind!

On the way down, he kept repeating "so far, so good...so far, so good!"

As the rushing torrent rapidly approached, he spun and arched his body in mid air, executing a fine example of a reverse Gaynor and at the last moment, straightening out to plunge headfirst into the unknown........again.......

He didn't know if the water was three feet deep or twenty. If the former, he wanted to go in head first and end it quickly. Fortunately it was the latter...... "I'm getting too old for this!" he thought as the cool water enveloped him.

All along the cliffs on both sides of the gorge, the gibbons were scoring the dive and he got high marks as evidenced by the quality of bananas that were tossed in the water behind him.

The angry hamsters lined the cliff top, hurling hamster obscenities and small twigs at him as he floated peacefully away down the river along with a few choice bananas AND.....the golden statue of the lost Hamster Goddess!!

He could see the headlines now......

Intrepid Explorer Donates Latest Find,
Museum Curator Calls It Magnanimous Gesture.....






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 11:15 on 30 July 2010  Report this post
Oh that's a wonderful Raiders moment at the end.

Your tenses are a bit confused though. You start present go to past then mix it up eg:

He didn't know if the water was three feet deep or twenty. If the former, he wanted to go in head first and end it quickly. Fortunately it was the latter...... "I'm getting too old for this!" he thinks as the cool water envelops him.


Love that it's hamsters

<Added>

PS I did one but it's only visible in my work since I'm not in F ll

tusker at 14:39 on 30 July 2010  Report this post
Good to read one of yours again, Mike.

I loved this. It made me laugh. A whacky Raiders, almost cartoonish.

It's like a crazy dream or on a trip.

Jennifer

M. Close at 02:34 on 31 July 2010  Report this post
Thanks Oonah and Jen for the comments.
I originally wrote this in the first person as a part of my unauthorized autobiography. But this IS the fiction group, so I changed it to the 3rd person, hoping to sneak it in here. I guess the time zones got mixed up and my tenses confused.
I think I have the tenses all sorted out now. Thanks again for the advice.

Mike



V`yonne at 17:51 on 31 July 2010  Report this post
Yes that's better

Findy at 05:13 on 02 August 2010  Report this post
Hi Mike

Great coming back story - I loved the imagery - the forest, the raging waters, great twist too...really nice.

findy

Laurence at 11:37 on 07 August 2010  Report this post
Clever piece of writing - loved the golden hamster touch!

Laurence

Desormais at 06:43 on 08 August 2010  Report this post
I loved this - a great start, we were in there running right from the start. And a terrific ending. I thought you might have left out the first reference to the hamsters to lend impact to the ending, which was so funny.

CharlieMac at 15:54 on 09 August 2010  Report this post
Mike, you're a loon! I was getting all hot under the collar reading the first two paras, but then almost breathed a sigh of (comic) relief when the hamsters came along.

Nice to read you again, too.

C


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .