Every time we sell a house a purchaser will start to grouse -
his rads are leaking; plumbing knocks; he just can’t set his time switch clock;
the cover’s off the main drain trap; he hasn’t got an outside tap.
But, when told what the cost will be, he yells at us abusively.
And then the man in quite a rage is thumbing through the Yellow Pages,
trying to tie down the rates of local plumbers and their Mates.
But, when he finds their prices steep, with sickly smile to us he’ll creep,
explaining that he hadn’t meant to treat us with quite such contempt,
and could we possibly arrange to have our plumber check his drains?
We answer through a clenched teeth smile, “We’ll send one round in just a while”.
“It needs to be the afternoon, and could you make it pretty soon?”
He says he’s taking Wednesday off, to check we’ve boarded out the loft.
He can’t afford to lose more pay, so send the plumber round that day.
Then when his plumbing’s rectified, instead of being satisfied,
this loud-mouthed, smart-arsed, awkward cuss, will boast he’s got one up on us,
and we’ll get all his neighbours phoning and of the plumbing they’ll be moaning!
What can we do but stoically grin – The cash-strapped builder just can’t win!