Login   Sign Up 



 

Sally Calls!

by MariaH 

Posted: 10 July 2010
Word Count: 1423


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


Not really quite sure where this belongs as there isn’t a fan fiction group and this is the first chapter of a fanfic “Sally Called!” (based on Aussie TV soap Home and Away) that I wrote a while back. The background story was that when Sally was three her parents died in a boating accident and she was taken in by her grandmother, who later developed Alzheimer’s. When the series opened, eight-year-old Sally was the newest foster child of Pippa Ross and had brought with her an invisible friend, “Milko“.

The soap never explained whether or not Sally witnessed the boating accident so this is my own version of events. Also the Phillips brothers were much later characters in the show and were never featured as children; I just thought they’d be an interesting addition.


Chapter 1

Sally Calls!


"We've got Milko. Don't tell nobody and 'specially don't tell the cops or Milko gets it..." The little boy with the innocent sparkling blue eyes and baby face casually removed one hand from his pocket to make a slicing gesture across his throat. "We'll be in touch."

Sally Keating froze. The kid was much younger than herself. Although he was wearing school uniform, he didn't look old enough to be in school at all but he acted like he owned not only Summer Bay Primary but the whole of Summer Bay as well. After coolly delivering the ultimatum, he thrust his hands back into his pockets and strolled back through the strictly-forbidden-access bushes (protecting, as they did, Reception class's newly-planted flower beds) from whence he came.

Sally watched the bushes move and a taller head above the bushes bobbing in apparent conversation. She didn't need to ask who the kidnappers were. She'd only been in Summer Bay a handful of days but already she'd heard the other kids talking about the Phillips brothers. How, if you weren't quick enough, they'd do heaps of bad stuff to you, call you names, rob you, bash you even, and it was best to keep away from them. But she hadn't been quick enough and now Milko had been kidnapped.

They'd never been separated before. It was like someone had ripped out her heart. Tears blurred her vision. If she'd never come to Summer Bay, Milko would still be with her and everything would be alright again. She wished she could go back two days and tell Mrs Ross she'd changed her mind. It just might work if she closed her eyes real tight and wished hard enough.

Little Sally Keating squeezed her eyes tight shut and wished with all her might that she'd never called on Summer Bay.

*****

Yesterday

"I'm not staying for a long time. But I just thought I'd call."

Pippa Ross smiled down at the polite, solemn child (the complete opposite of confident, outgoing Lynn who had been fostered at the same time as her much younger friend) who'd carefully taken the (standard Home issue) pink-striped pyjamas out of her overnight bag to fold extremely neatly and place carefully on the pillow and who now turned to her hostess with an air of quiet self-sufficiency.

"I see. And how long do you think you'll be calling for, Sally?"

Pippa tenderly brushed back a stray tendril of dark hair that was threatening to engulf Sally's right eye. Poor kid. Small wonder she was so reserved.

When she was only three Sally's parents had drowned in a boating accident that she'd witnessed and she'd gone to live with her grandmother. But, ironically, Sally herself had become the carer when the old lady later developed Alzheiemers. Thankfully, one of her teachers became aware of the situation and alerted Welfare. But it hadn't helped matters that, only days before she was taken into care, a kindly elderly neighbour and the neighbour's two cats that Sally had lavished attention upon had perished in a house fire. By the time she was eight...

...Sally has come to the conclusion that those she loves will inevitably leave her and so the wisest course of action is never to get close to anyone in the first place. To compensate, she has created for herself an imaginary friend "Milko", who can NEVER be taken away from her and therefore always gives Sally the love, security and stability she so desperately craves...

A lump had come to Pippa's throat when she read the reports. She and her husband Tom had previously only ever fostered teenagers and had promised each other that they would tread very, very slowly with this little girl who had known so much tragedy at so young an age. It would be a learning curve for all three of them and they'd take it one step at a time.

"I'm not quite sure," Sally replied in answer to Pippa's question. "What do you think, Milko?"

She looked towards a blank spot on the wall and seemed to listen intently, nodding two or three times, while Pippa waited patiently.

"Milko says he thinks you're very nice, thank you for having us and we might call for a few days. If you don't mind." She added, a tremor of anxiety slipping into the previously composed little voice.

"Well, tell Milko thank you very much, I think he's very nice too and I'll be very glad to have you both call for as long as you like."

Pippa once more tenderly brushed back the rogue tendril of hair that had worked itself loose with all the nodding. No doubt Sally would grow out of Milko in time. But the little girl still needed her imaginary friend as yet. As long as Sally had Milko to help her cope, everything would be fine.

*****

"We're not really gonna kill him, are we, Scotty?" Kane Phillips asked, having successfully delivered, word for word (although the slicing throat gesture had been Kane's own artistic flourish) the message his older brother Scotty had tasked him with.

Nine-year-old Scott blinked. "What the do you think, drongo?"

Kane gazed at the patch of grass where Scott claimed to be holding Milko prisoner and shuffled in thought, managing to trample a few more of the flowers his class had been busy nurturing that very morning.

"D'ya think we oughta get him something to eat then?"

"No, I don't!" Scotty raised his eyes Heavenwards. Jeeeez-us! The whole idea of "kidnapping" Milko had been to tease the new kid, not to provide four-course meals.

"But we can't just starve the guy..."

Scott Phillips wondered, not for the first time, why he was the only one in his family to have been blessed with a brain. Dad was sometimes so off his face with the grog that he thought he saw giant mice and miniature kangaroos. Mum was so far gone into Fruitcake Land that some days she could hold whole conversations with a wall. Now his four-and-a-half-year-old brother, recently started at Summer Bay Primary and, until this moment, having shown promising signs of following in Scotty's footsteps, was enquiring about luncheon arrangements for the weirdo newbie's imaginary friend!

"Give him a menu if ya wanna!" He said sarcastically, catching Kane's ankle with a well-aimed kick. "I gotta go."

"But we can't just leave him tied up there! What if someone sees him?"

He sounded so convincing that Scotty looked to where he indicated before he pulled himself together. Kane had him going as loopy as he was.

"Jerk!" He replied with another kick, leaving Kane with a throbbing ankle and just as baffled as he'd been before.

*****

Sally opened her eyes and sucked in a shuddering, tearful breath. The wish hadn't worked. She was still in the schoolyard and still without Milko. And if she dared tell anyone he'd been kidnapped the Phillips brothers would kill him and then she'd never get him back! But if she never got Milko back, everything would be like it used to be before and, one by one, all the people who loved her would leave her and...

No, oh no! It was happening again! Last time it had happened, when one of the bigger kids at the Home had been picking on her, Lynn had been there to yell at him and put her arm round Sally until it stopped. But Lynn wasn't here to stop it.

Sally pressed her hands against her ears, trying to block out the deafening crash of the waves, feeling the earth swaying beneath her feet, screaming in terror as the ground began to turn into the terrible sea...







Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Freebird at 18:54 on 11 July 2010  Report this post

I've never read anything of this genre, so take whatever I say with a pinch of salt...


I was confused about Milko - if he's an imaginary friend, why does Scott act as though he's a real person?

And the last section, where Sally opens her eyes - does this mean that the whole bit with Pippa was imaginary? Hang on, I've just spotted the bit titled 'Yesterday', so I guess the bit with Pippa is a flashback. It's a tad confusing, though, as are the differing points of view in the different sections.

You've put in some good Australianims!

There's no reception class in Australia (at least, not in Queensland, maybe it's different in southern states) - they call it Prep (Preppies) and then go into Grade 1.

Big chunk of 'telling' about Sally's background - tends to make the reader yawn and switch off, and removes all the drama of it.

It's a really interesting idea, and there are some lovely touches - Pippa comes across as very caring (although the rogue tendril could do with not being overdone), and Sally as very vulnerable.

I think it might be strengthened further if you a) stick to Sally's pov and b) keep it in chronological order.



<Added>

I mean, Australianisms!

<Added>

Now I've had a third read through, and I can see that Scott knows Milko is imaginary but Kane doesn't'

MariaH at 19:16 on 11 July 2010  Report this post
Thanks for your comments, Freebird. I had a lot of fun with this story as Kane and Sally are convinced Milko actually exists so it gave me lots of scope for some amusing scenes. But you're right, it did often get very confusing too, especially as I had to include other characters from the show who were fostered at the same time and then explain everything even tho I never watched the show back when it began in 1988 so loads of research...

Over 27 (!!!!) chapters it did finally come together and I was pleased with the ending but everyone can relax, I doubt if I'll post more than two or three chapters of it here and, anyway, it's way too long for a children's story.

But my advice to anyone thinking of writing a fanfic is don't! It's much, much, MUCH easier writing original fiction!

Freebird at 11:38 on 12 July 2010  Report this post
I guess you are forced to use characters and events that are not of your own invention, which makes it harder.
27 chapters, though - wow! that's dedication!
I used to watch Home and Away in the late eighties - one day Pippa had fair hair and suddenly they brought in a new actor and she was dark! I remember Sally though Have you got Carly in it? She always had a strange looking nose. And Mr. Fisher, the teacher?

Account Closed at 20:52 on 12 July 2010  Report this post
Like freebird I'm afraid I didn't quite know what to make of this as I have never read or written fan fic so I am not quite sure how to judge it! It also felt quite grown up, with all the sections from Pippa's perspective etc. More like an adult's perspective on fostering a child (not saying this is a bad thing at all, just that I am used to critiquing children's and YA so it's a different kettle of fish).

Maybe you should propose a fan fic group on writewords? There must be other fan fic writers out there!

MariaH at 21:02 on 12 July 2010  Report this post
I guess you are forced to use characters and events that are not of your own invention, which makes it harder.

27 chapters, though - wow! that's dedication!

I used to watch Home and Away in the late eighties - one day Pippa had fair hair and suddenly they brought in a new actor and she was dark! I remember Sally though Have you got Carly in it? She always had a strange looking nose. And Mr. Fisher, the teacher?


Nope, more a case of the only thing I knew for certain about the story was the line I was going to use at the very end and then having to use my own imagination to deal with all the emotional baggage the soap had given the other foster kids, Carly, Steven Frank and Lynn...complicated!!!

I watched the show on and off circa 1994-2004 so never really saw the very early characters apart from Pippa and Sally (but a teenage Sally by then - oh, and a grown-up Steven, I think). I did include Mr Fisher, but not a great deal as I invented a teacher who had a major role.

Fairly proud of some parts of the story but now it's over...whewww!!!





MariaH at 21:13 on 12 July 2010  Report this post
Oops, sorry, FloraPost (Flora?) only just noticed your comment. Thanks for reading. I've no idea what audience it suits really - probably YA, as the show is mostly aimed at teenagers, tho it does have a much older and much younger following too.

I did think of proposing a fanfic forum but I wouldn't have time to run it plus it's a genre I really want to leave behind eventually (I'm tied up with doing something another writer asked me to finish )or maybe just do a one-shot of something now and again.

Maria

Freebird at 18:31 on 13 July 2010  Report this post
as long as you had fun doing it - after all, that's the best reason for writing anything!

Issy at 12:44 on 16 July 2010  Report this post
I was greatly intrigued by the idea of kidnapping an imaginery friend, what a brilliant proposition, and then that Kane goes onto imagine him as well.

I too was a little confused and kept going back over to work it all out. Maybe go with a chronological order as far as possible and blending the history in.

My other thought was that there are far too many long sentences. The clauses need to be split up so that we don't loose the sense of what it is all about.


Here's a couple of examples:


The kid was much younger than herself. Although he was wearing school uniform, he didn't look old enough to be in school at all but he acted like he owned not only Summer Bay Primary but the whole of Summer Bay as well. After coolly delivering the ultimatum, he thrust his hands back into his pockets and strolled back through the strictly-forbidden-access bushes (protecting, as they did, Reception class's newly-planted flower beds) from

whence he came.


But I seriously think this is a fascinating idea, and the whole concept of Sally and how she deals with the trauma excellent.


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .