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Water Under The Bridge

by Mickey 

Posted: 17 June 2010
Word Count: 207


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Do you remember when we were at school,
when you were a Prefect, and I played the fool?
I thought you the prettiest girl of them all….

But it’s water under the bridge now

Do you remember our very first date
and how you arrived almost half hour late -
And you laughed as you said that you knew I would wait?….

But it’s water under the bridge now

Do you remember now, how ‘you’ and ‘me’
for just a few months had became ‘us’ and ‘we’
in that glorious summer of ’73….

But it’s water under the bridge now

Do you remember the way that we laughed
while we sat in the booth for that daft photograph.
And how I said I’d keep mine close to my heart?….

But it’s water under the bridge now

Do you remember the name of the guy
who came in between when he gave you the eye,
or the way that you left without even ‘goodbye’?….

But it’s water under the bridge now

I still have that photo we took in the booth
and, ‘tho I am old and I’m long in the tooth
I’ve never forgot you to tell you the truth….

But it’s water under the bridge now






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 13:39 on 17 June 2010  Report this post
It's nice, this. I'm not a particular fan of this type of poetry it has to be said, but it has its place.

I think this would be more poignant witout the final refrain and just end on
I’ve never forgot you to tell you the truth….


or the way that you left without even ‘goodbye’?….

or the way that you left me without a‘goodbye’?…. scans better too.

and
‘tho I am old now and long in the tooth ?

Just suggestions... Feel free to ignore.






didau at 20:31 on 17 June 2010  Report this post
Melancholic stuff. You have a great ear for meter which really adds to the excitement of the early relationship before plunging into the despondency and regret of the final stanza. The refrain serves to slow down the poem and remind us that this didn't work out and that serves a clear purpose. But. I have to confess it spoils it for me - I understand why it suits the tone to disrupt the rhythm and why you want to force the reader to confront the doomed nature of the relationship. And still - I just didn't want to read the refrain and found myself skipping over it. I think it reads better without.

Just a thought.

James Graham at 15:51 on 20 June 2010  Report this post
I too thought the poem reads better without the refrain. But when I say reads I mean it doesn't read so well on the page; the refrain would be more effective in performance, if this were a song. Have you got music for it?

James.


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