Synopsis - DIAMOND RAIDERS
Posted: 04 June 2010
Word Count: 565
Summary: Here is an expanded and tweaked synopsis draft for Diamond Raiders.
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SYNOPSIS: DIAMOND RAIDERS
It’s 2008 and 20 years have passed since 5 year old Analise Van Rensberg watched her parents suffer at the hands of the Swakopmund Mining Corporation after the family stopped on a lonely Namibian road. Now she’s back, partly to seek revenge and partly to fund a better life, by taking from SMC what they prize most, their diamonds. She and her specialist team plan to attack SMC’s vulnerable off-shore dredger. This needs a lot of information and they send one of the team under cover into the complex to get the data they need. She nearly gets caught, but manages to get out without mis-hap. The piece-de-resistance is the special high speed boat, the SeaWitch which they pick up on return to Cape Town, reaching top speeds exceeding 120 knots. The team spends a little time in the area of the dredger and when the initial plan is thwarted by the arrival of a Namibian naval vessel, they make a high-speed test run to St Helena and on the way back they are nearly sunk by a storm and have to divert to Tristan Da Cunha. After eventually making it back safely to Condor Rock, the execute the carefully planned heist, boarding the dredger and disabling the crew. They remove around 10 million dollars worth of diamonds and escape in the SeaWitch, pursued by a gunbus helicopter, and then the SMC head of security Jock McKenzie in another helicopter, in a do or die attempt to stop them. A major setback occurs when they come to the realisation that St Helena doesn’t have an airport. In the mean time, not wanting to let go of precious diamonds and having failed to catch the SeaWitch, McKenzie recruits the world’s top crime busters, Commissioner Henri Petin-Leroux of Interpol, and Detective Chief Inspector Hugh Fraser of Scotland Yard’s Serious Crimes squad. Determined to get back the diamonds, McKenzie sends the two specialists after the gang. The pursuit is on and the gang has to back track to Namibia on the SS ST HELENA, a mailship, after creating a false trail by selling the SeaWitch to a Colombian drug baron. The whole escape nearly falls apart as Analise is almost arrested on boarding the mailship, but Kurt manages to twist it to their advantage and for three agonising days they are aboard the ship from which they have to get to Windhoek airport to fly out of the area. Corrupt border guards and customs officials nearly bring the escape to a sudden and final halt, only the quick thinking of Kurt saves them from a premature end to the caper. Hot on their tail, Petin-Leroux tries to ground the aircraft at Windhoek, but fails to convince the authorities. The team zig-zags through hair-raising moments, remaining only one step ahead of Petin-Leroux until they finally reach a secure island in the Maldives from which it is planned there will be a slow and periodical disposal of the diamonds. Petin-Leroux also arrives in the Maldives and sets himself up for a long and patient vigil. Not happy with negative results, Jock McKenzie, afraid for his own job at SMC, hires and despatches a specialist diamond cutter to the Maldives in an attempt to catch the gang, he books into a hotel and waits for someone to contact him about cutting diamonds…..
This is a 140,000 word thriller.
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 BobCurby at 23:10 on 04 June 2010
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Naomi - here is the updated longer synopsis - just a draft of course and subject to much kicking about before it's finished.
Steve
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 NMott at 00:33 on 05 June 2010
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I'll post my first impressions as I go through it, so you can see if it's coming across as you intended it, or whether there are parts that are not clear in the synopsis or the novel itself.
SYNOPSIS: DIAMOND RAIDERS
| It’s 2008 and 20 years have passed since 5 year old Analise Van Rensberg watched her parents suffer at the hands of the Swakopmund Mining Corporation after the family stopped on a lonely Namibian road. |
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As it is currently written, the main character is now 5yrs old. Delete the age.
Delete 'after the family stopped on a lonely Namibian road' = unnecessary detail, and confusing because a 'corporation' implies 'buildings', and 'buildings' cannot hurt someone at the side of the road. Presumably it was a gang of hired men who attacked the family, but that detail is not necessary here.
If the girl's parents were murdered then say that, rather than use the word 'suffer'.
Is the reason why her parents were hurt relevant to the main plot thread? If so mention it. However, if it is a plot device used simply to motivate the girl's feelings of revenge, then it's not necessary to explain it.
| Now she’s back, partly to seek revenge and partly to fund a better life, by taking from SMC what they prize most, their diamonds. She and her specialist team plan to attack SMC’s vulnerable off-shore dredger. |
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Ok.
| This needs a lot of information and they send one of the team under cover into the complex to get the data they need. She nearly gets caught, but manages to get out without mis-hap. |
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Delete this bit because, as it stands, it's unnecessary detail.
NB.It's best to tell the synopsis from the main character's pov, so avoid using 'they', eg, 'they send one of the team'. Also, who is 'She' in 'She nearly gets caught'?
If this is important to the plot & Analise's story then it needs expanding on.
| The piece-de-resistance is the special high speed boat, the SeaWitch which they pick up on return to Cape Town, reaching top speeds exceeding 120 knots. |
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Delete unnecessary details like 'cape town' and '120 knots'. Basically this boils down to 'the key to the operation is the Sea Witch, a specially fitted, high speed boat'. Leave the detail for the novel itself.
| The team spends a little time in the area of the dredger and when the initial plan is thwarted by the arrival of a Namibian naval vessel, they make a high-speed test run to St Helena and on the way back they are nearly sunk by a storm and have to divert to Tristan Da Cunha. After eventually making it back safely to Condor Rock, |
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Delete everything before 'the initial plan...'.
Full stop after 'vessel'.
Start the next sentence with 'Analise and her team...' rather than say 'they'.
'Test runs' and 'storms', and place names, are not interesting enough to earn a place in the synopsis. I note that the length of the mss is 140K which is too long for a fast paced thriller. I would recommend removing the chapters detailing the test run and the storm, and cut to the chase.
The Namibian naval vessel is a plot device (used to move the plot forward) which I'm not convinced you've used to the best advantage. If you've incorporated it because oyu need to delay the operation, then it has a place, but if they are still doing test runs on the fast boat, then there's no obvious reason for it.
| the execute the carefully planned heist, boarding the dredger and disabling the crew. They remove around 10 million dollars worth of diamonds and escape in the SeaWitch, pursued by a gunbus helicopter, |
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You might move the scene with the Namibian naval vessel to this part of the plot.
| and then the SMC head of security Jock McKenzie in another helicopter, in a do or die attempt to stop them. |
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This is their chief antagonist. It would be best to bring him into the plot as soon as possible.
Give him a separate line so as to introduce him properly.
Does Analise recognise him as one of the men who hurt her parents 20yrs ago?
- Be careful not to make this plot episodic, ie, one thing happening after another. Ideally you should have several plot threads running in parallel so as to rack up the suspense. At the moment it is coming across as episodic.
| A major setback occurs when they come to the realisation that St Helena doesn’t have an airport. |
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Delete - unnecessary detail.
Also, a little unbelievable - he's not very good at his job. Also switching to the chief antagonist's pov in the synopsis implies you've done the same in the novel. It is rarely a good idea to have it from the antagonist's pov as it risks spoiling the suspense you are trying to build in the novel, because the reader will know things before the main character does, so it's less of a surprise when the main character discovers those same things.
| In the mean time, not wanting to let go of precious diamonds and having failed to catch the SeaWitch, McKenzie recruits the world’s top crime busters, Commissioner Henri Petin-Leroux of Interpol, and Detective Chief Inspector Hugh Fraser of Scotland Yard’s Serious Crimes squad. Determined to get back the diamonds, McKenzie sends the two specialists after the gang. |
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This first and last sentences are repetition. They are also the antagonist's motivations, which implies this section of the novel is still from his pov.
With the introduction of two policemen, this is sounding less like a thriller, and more like a crime novel. However, we already know whodunnit so I'm wondering how they are going to be used.
| The pursuit is on and the gang has to back track to Namibia on the SS ST HELENA, a mailship, after creating a false trail by selling the SeaWitch to a Colombian drug baron. |
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'Columbian drug baron' is unnecessary detail, unless it puts the gang's life in danger.
Delete 'SS St Helena', it's enough to know it's a mailship.
| The whole escape nearly falls apart as Analise is almost arrested on boarding the mailship, but Kurt manages to twist it to their advantage and for three agonising days they are aboard the ship from which they have to get to Windhoek airport to fly out of the area. |
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Who is Kurt? Is he the 'love interest'?
Who almost arrests Analise? - is this the gang's first inclination that the police are after them? If so, save the mention of Scotland Yard until this point.
'3 days' - This is another plot device, so why is it important to give them 3 days? Is anything happening during that time?
| Corrupt border guards and customs officials nearly bring the escape to a sudden and final halt, only the quick thinking of Kurt saves them from a premature end to the caper. |
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'Kurt' again. Is he now the main character? Analise was introduced as the main character at the start of the synopsis, so it's best to keep to her pov during the rest of it. However, she doesn't seem to have a role in this part of the novel.
| Hot on their tail, Petin-Leroux tries to ground the aircraft at Windhoek, but fails to convince the authorities. |
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There were 3 people chasing the gang, so what has happened to his partner and Mckenzie?
| The team zig-zags through hair-raising moments, remaining only one step ahead of Petin-Leroux until they finally reach a secure island in the Maldives from which it is planned there will be a slow and periodical disposal of the diamonds. |
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Again, what has happened to the other two?
| Petin-Leroux also arrives in the Maldives and sets himself up for a long and patient vigil. |
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This would be the ideal point in the story to arrange the rug-pull moment, but there is none.
| Not happy with negative results, Jock McKenzie, afraid for his own job at SMC, hires and despatches a specialist diamond cutter to the Maldives in an attempt to catch the gang, he books into a hotel and waits for someone to contact him about cutting diamonds….. |
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Where is the big denoument?
Where is the end?
| This is a 140,000 word thriller. |
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You should aim to cut 40K words - as it stands this reads like an episodic plot, mostly composed of one long chase, albeit including a 3 day rest.
You do not seem to have used all your characters to their full advantage (eg, one of the detectives disappears completely, and, half way in, Analise's role is taken over by Kurt - what are Kurt's motivations?).
Also there are certain conventions of the thriller genre which have not been incorporated, eg, one would expect there to be a traitor in the gang, working for the Corporation, or some sort of in-fighting.
Without an ending, Analise does not get closure.
Bear in mind that thriller novels are a lot more complex than thriller movies. As it stands, this reads more like an outline for a movie.
- NaomiM
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Every plot device - both characters, and events - need a dual purpose. So, eg, who tipped off the Namibian naval vessel? And is it the same person who tipped off the boarder guards? Is it someone in the gang, or in the Corporation?
Who is financing this raid, and the purchase of the Sea Witch?
What about the Corporation? - eg, who in the corporation was responsible for Analise's parents 'suffering', and are they involved in the operation?
The diamonds are a plot device to give them a reason to raid the dredger, but there will be other motivations in play in the gang, such as revenge (Analise), and greed - so who is being greedy?
Who is Kurt, and why is he there?
Why do they need to catch a slow mailboat when they have a fast boat? - why didn't they arrange alternative transport? Is someone mucking up their carefully laid plans?
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BobCurby at 02:05 on 05 June 2010
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Hi Naomi - it is very obvious that I can't write a synopsis. The book is completed and has gone to print in fact, has been read and proof read and edited - re-edited and has 32 chapters. Perhaps I have made a mistake in calling it a thriller - yes, it is more like a crime novel.
Let's have a look at your comments and my response -
First comment (re Analise's age, she is now 25) - the opening scene is rather like a movie where the opening scene introduces the whole reason for what's to follow - the stopping on the road is vital because SMC protects that part of the desert with extreme measures, using gunbus helicopters and armed response units - one of which 'arrests' the family and after killing the father, rapes and beats the mother, leaving Analise eventually an orphan in the hands of a care home. (That's just the opening chapter)
Third comment - (re the need to get detail) this takes two chapters and is a vital and essential element to the plot, without the inside information obtained from the SMC complex, the heist will not take place.
Fourth comment - regarding Cape Town and the SeaWitch - fair comment, though it is important to know that the boat is in Cape Town and not in Namibia because the actual test run of its capability is the run from Cape Town to Condor Rock, 2 miles off Swakopmund.
Fifth comment - The Namibian Corvette is called in because SMC fear that the team on SeaWitch are up to something - which they are - so this is a small 'rug pull' because the navy escorts the dredger into harbour and the heist cannot go ahead. SeaWitch is visited by SMC thugs and a gunbus which ends up getting shot down as a South African Coastguard cutter arrives in response to Analise's radio calls. It is then that she decides that morale needs a boost and orders the test run of the escape plan, which is to run to St Helena where she had expected to take a flight out to Johannesburg. Rafi, the St Helenan in the team informs her that the wartime airfield s disused and not big enough for modern jets, so there is no airport - this is a major rug-pull. The storm is a major event as is the diversion to Tristan Da Cunha.
Sixth comment - The heist takes place AFTER the dredger comes back out and the Namibian naval vesel SAILS AWAY - it would be pretty pointless to introduce it here.
Seventh comment - Jock McKenzie is introduced in chapter 4 as the head of security and is involved in the aftermath of Margie's infiltration (Margie and the others are introduced, named and characterised in ch 2)-
he sends a gunbus which ends up ditching in the sea in a kamikaze attempt to get the SeaWitch, travelling 20 knots faster that it is. This makes McKenzie commandeer the CEO's Jetranger which flies faster than the SeaWitch, but doesn't carry enough fuel to catch it and the pilot turns back much to McKenzie's chagrin. Analise doesn't ever see McKenzie and he's too young to have been involved in her parents' murders.
Eighth comment - the 'no airport' aspect is a major rug pull - because, having sold the SeaWitch to the Colombian drug baron even before leaving Cape Town, Analise is fully aware that they have nowhere to go but St Helena and she has worked out the 'plan B' of taking the mailship back to Windhoek as a brilliant ploy to foil McKenzie and his team who aren't expecting that. It isn't written from McK's POV - it is written from Analise's as main character.
Ninth comment - this is a 'meanwhile' so the part about JMcK and the two policemen is a scene builder for what follows - they are woven in to the plot from JMcK's POV - as he doesn't know who he's dealing with, the SMC bosses think it's an inside job.
Tenth comment - OK to delete the name of the mailship from the synopsis - though it is a very real an famous ship that sails from Southampton to Cape Town via St Helena - I've been on it (I used to be a sonar operator on a diamond dredger off Namibia) - the drug baron is introduced in about chapter 8 or 9 and is essential to causing confusion to the navy and airforce involved in trying to locate the gang when the news breaks. It is no mere passing comment.
11th comment - Analise's 'arrest' on boarding the mailship is un-related to the crime, it has to do with the mis-interpretation of orders from the owners to detain her - the S A authorities need to contact her as she is the next of kin of the pilot of the pursuing gunbus that 'kamikazed' into the sea - though she has no idea her cousin was the pilot any more than he knew she was the mastermind of the heist. Kurt (her ex-lover and senior partner of the team) is still an active member of S A Security forces and that's how he save the day, by advising the mailship captain that the veseel is British and has no jurisdiction in S A legal issues and that HE will 'arrest' Analise and be responsible for her.... a sort of 'Tales of the Unexpected' twist in the story. 3 days - that's how long it takes in the SS St Helena to sail from the island to Walvis Bay - and it's agonsing because of the fact that a they had wanted to just blend in but the event mentioned above had raised their profile. They have no idea that McK has called in the police from UK/France (in the introduction of the two in the book, it is mentioned that they were instrumental in catching the Brinks MAT gang) - the two police 'aces' are equally unaware that the gang's on the ship - though they do work it out, but too late.
12th comment - this is written from Analises' pov and she has very high profile throughout - but it is Kurt's S A SF experience and abilities that saves them from being robbed by these officials at three different locations. Analise is and always appears to be incontrol - it his her orders that Kurt carries out.
13th comment - OK - bad explanation by me - 1. JMcK isn't able to pursue, he has to be back in SMC compound, 2. Hugh Fraser heads north, following some tourists who are going to Okavango, 3. Petin-Leroux follows a hunch and heads for Windhoek - hence one pursuer in reality from here on. Hugh Fraser does feature again, but it is Petin-Leroux that is very close to their trail.
14th comment - ditto to above
15th comment - there are about 10 rug pulls in the story, 2 big ones and 8 smaller ones, there is a rug pull when they get to the Maldives and another when they arrive at their actual island in the remote atoll (there are about 70 atolls in the Maldives, with a total of 1100 islands).
final comment/s - ? what is a denoument?
There is no end - the end is the person arriving who is a diamond cutter - the expectation is that someone in the team will conatct him to cut their dimonds - and the game will be up - I leave that to the imagination - maybe I could add a comment that would finalise it - like the fact that Margie is a top class diamond cutter and he will sit there until he shrivels up and dies.....
The length - well, it was 200,000 words and was edited down to 140K.
Analise gets a big closure (I should mention it I guess) she accepts Kurt back and there is a big love scene (not x-rated) and a relief to the rest of the gang who have seen the tension build and cause friction all the way through. There are a couple of times where there are fights and arguments. There is no traitor sadly.
I am hoping it will be a movie some day, I have one person who is interested in developing it in that direction. So maybe I chose to call a thriller when it isn't...
Naomi I thank you for your valuable input and was a great exercise responding to your comments - now how do I get all that above into a readble synopsis??
Steve
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do I actually need a synopsis - or rather, do I need to bother if the marketing team who have taken it on board will probably write one anyway?
I should say that this hasn't gone to an agent ot publisher. The editors and proof readers are 'in-house' to the company I work for, which has a 'make on demand' paperback printing/binding and marketing operation. So, I will pay an up-front set-up fee and then if/when ordered I will get the price I set, less the commission of the company. They can produce the book from the proof in a couple of hours, and have it ready to ship the same day - very good from a customer's standpoint and no need for anyone to have to buy in a stock of them nor for anyone to carry the cost of a large print run.
I wouldn't mind getting it into the hands of a quality publisher though - so I guess I still need this synopsis..
Ah well, to bed, the sun will appear soon.....
:)
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NMott at 13:51 on 05 June 2010
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| do I actually need a synopsis - or rather, do I need to bother if the marketing team who have taken it on board will probably write one anyway? |
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I'll come to the rest of your points later, but I was wondering that myself. I think what you need is a 'back cover blurb' type of synopsis for the reader/marketing. If the book has gone to print do you have one already? If it is being listed on a website, then they could either use the back cover blurb, or a slightly longer version, which introduces the main characters, sets the scene and mentions the heist, and then stops on a hook line (cliffhanger).
- NaomiM
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Maybe focus the blurb on Analise's story, rather than mention the detectives, colombian drugs baron, namibian cutters, and other minor elements of the story.
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| I wouldn't mind getting it into the hands of a quality publisher though - so I guess I still need this synopsis.. |
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Once it is assigned an ISBN number it is deemed to have been published (in this case, self-published) and would not interest a publisher unless it sells in the tens of thousands.
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NMott at 15:09 on 05 June 2010
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| Perhaps I have made a mistake in calling it a thriller - yes, it is more like a crime novel. |
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On balance I would say it's a thriller, in the sense that Ocean Eleven is a thriller, and written from the pov of the gang, rather than those hunting them.
A denoument is the big finish. In most plot-driven novels everything gets worse for the main character(s) before the big scene in which they over come the baddies and live to fight another day (or ride off into the sunset). Because your novel is episodic, each thing they come up against is resolved before the next thing, so the main plot thread is a chase, and the denoument would be whether or not they get caught. Since you do not have an ending, there is no denoument.
This is not a synopsis I can help you with. In future I would advise putting together a synopsis after completing the first draft, so you know what needs to be removed & rejigged during the editing stage.
- NaomiM
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eg,
| Analise doesn't ever see McKenzie and he's too young to have been involved in her parents' murders. |
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This is an example of a plot hole that should have been plugged at the first draft stage. Since the action takes place 20 years after the episode with Anaise's parents you could have made Mckenzie a 25yr old hot head and junior member of the corporation's security team. Over the next 20yrs he rises to the head of security which would make him 45yrs old and a force to reckon with; a worthy antagonist to go up against Analise and her team.
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Also, Colombian Drugs Baron - Colombia is in South America, while Namibia is in Africa. It would be more logical to sell the boat to one of the more local crimelords - eg, in South Africa; someone who might then double cross them by bribing the boarder guards to take the diamonds off them.
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...unless they intended to make their way to South America to dispose of the diamonds, traveling in the same cargo ship that is transporting the Sea Witch.
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Also, there is no mention if there are 'Blood Diamonds' which is a hot topic at the moment.
With the use of detectives, I would expect one of them to discover the murky past of the Corporation, while chasing Analise and the gang, and end up arresting McKenzie for his role in their deaths, so as to give Analise closure.
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A 'rug pull' moment is something where all seems lost; their worst fears are realised: They get to the Maldives only to find the drugs baron waiting for them with ihs gang, and take the diamonds off them. Mckenzie and Interpol are on their tail and they have no money ot get anywhere else, so they'll be caught, one of their gang - Kurt - is taken into custody. At which point a 3rd party steps in - maybe Interpol, arresting the drugs baron after a tip off from Kurt who's working undercover investigating illegal trade in blood diamonds which are being passed off as legitimately minded diamonds by the Corporation...
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oops, sorry for the typos. :)
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And you use the 3 day mailboat trip for Kurt and Analise to fall in love, which is why Kurt doesn't turn her in earlier.
And Kurt kills the b'stard Mckenzie at the end.
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Analise discovers that the team she thought she'd been so careful to put together is actualy Kurt's team, except for one guy/gal who's working for the Corporation and has been betraying them every step of the way.
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These plot points are all conventions of the Thriller genre, and anticipated by the target readership. At the end of the first draft oyu need to join the dots, so every plot device serves a dual purpose. The fast cars, fast boats, etc, are just the trappings of the genre, and not important in the synopsis.
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[]i... fast cars, fast boats, exotic locations...
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In a crime novel, the important part is who-dunnit (or why-dunnit). Here we know whodunnit, and why, so it's a thriller. However, a thriller is about secret motivations and double-crosses, and we don't have that here. So it falls into the Adventure genre, because we don't know that will befall them, or where they'll end up, and they might be killed enroute. But at the core of an adventure novel is a quest to find something. Since they already have the diamonds, it fails in that too. Which leave Romance will Analise and Kurt get together? Since that is your ending, then it's Romance.
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...but for Romance, there needs to be an alternative love interest, and a secret which Kurt reveals to Analise which destroys their relationship until he redemes himself and it all works out at the end.
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One last thought: the reader will accept almost anything, padding out a thriller, so long as there's a mystery to solve. A mystery is not whether or not the MC will survive, because the reader assumes that they will, right up to the closing chapter, otherwise it would be a very short story.
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NMott at 15:25 on 05 June 2010
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Maybe, rather than a synopsis, compose an outline for a screenplay. However, you will need tofill in some of the plot holes that currently exist in the novel.
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BobCurby at 22:23 on 06 June 2010
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| Also, Colombian Drugs Baron - Colombia is in South America, while Namibia is in Africa. It would be more logical to sell the boat to one of the more local crimelords - eg, in South Africa; someone who might then double cross them by bribing the boarder guards to take the diamonds off them. |
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Precisely!
I am in danger of replying to each of your comments by entering the whole chapter in... the Colombian drug Baron IS ON THEIR SIDE he is not an antagonist. He needs a fast boat to outrun the US drug cruisers and Analise and her team need something to confuse those in pusuit. The SeaWitch, being an 8-engined 2,300 HP hydrofoil does exactly what Cortez, the Colombian needs, and leaving St Helena, westbound at high speed, is the very ploy Analise wants.
And you use the 3 day mailboat trip for Kurt and Analise to fall in love, which is why Kurt doesn't turn her in earlier.
And Kurt kills the b'stard Mckenzie at the end. |
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Did I really convey this? Analise and Kurt lived together, he cheated on her, she threw him out (that's all briefly referred to in chapter 2) he keeps trying to get back into a relationship with her. She keeps him at arms length even though she is deeply in love with hime - but she's still hurting. They didn't fall in love on the boat at all. She finally gives into him and admits that she does still ove him and welcomes him back - in the Maldives, not before.
| ...but for Romance, there needs to be an alternative love interest, and a secret which Kurt reveals to Analise which destroys their relationship until he redemes himself and it all works out at the end. |
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see above
Also, as if to spite him, Analise goes to bed with the St Helenan Rafi, and that causes a lot of friction - and that's even before the heist and nearly kills it completely.
The purpose of the story is to steal diamonds, survive and live off the proceeds - that's the plan and apart from the snags along the way, it succeeds. The element sought for is the eventual romance re-kindled between Kurt and Analise. My proof readers said they couldn't put it down because each chapter has a cliff-hanger and they just had to turn the page. I have left it open for a sequel. I am seriously thinking of getting it looked at by film or TV producers - I have written so that it could be a series, with ecah episode leaving the viewer setting their recording controls so as not to miss the next one.
Naomi - please don't waste any more time with this - I am sorry that you had to try and decipher it, clearly the story intricacies are not clear. The story is very heavy on technology - GPS, Satellite phones, radio controlled devices, and staying ahead of the pursuers who often so close they can feel their breath on their necks. It is intended for the reader to be sympathetic to the gang, want them to get away, will them on to their objective and to have a sharp intake of breath when the catastrophes happen. There is a shoot out on the island in the last chapter in which one man dies (not a gang member).
I will put this to bed now and do something else.
Steve
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NMott at 09:50 on 07 June 2010
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All the best with it, Bob. I'm sure it'll make a good TV series or movie.
- NaomiM
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