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Bathroom Etiquette

by didau 

Posted: 28 May 2010
Word Count: 83
Summary: I wrote this on the back of a napkin in 5 minutes as a performance piece some years ago and have been chipping away at it ever since. Any suggestions?


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In the queue for the final
service station urinal
I unzip and tip the wink
to a man who couldnít wait
and is going in the sink.

O, the bliss as the piss streams
like a pale-gold limousine
and hissing, hits the polished bowl
rolls, then disappears down the hole.

And as I stand there arms akimbo,
eyes fixed down and thoughts in limbo
I let slip the loudest fart Iíve ever heard.

I blush and flush. It hangs there like a turd.






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 14:31 on 28 May 2010  Report this post
It's not subtle is it ; LOL. I really felt for the man who couldn't wait - I know someone like that. My only suggestion would be the last line
I blush and flush. It hangs there like a turd.

I bet people loved to hear this ;

didau at 15:46 on 28 May 2010  Report this post
Yes, I like that as a last line. Thanks


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