Offensive to your senses by Bobo

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Offensive to your senses

by Bobo

Posted: 25 November 2003
Word Count: 65
Summary: Another bit of Anorexic rambling...

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This box isn't quite right for me -
you see,
there's more to me
than this.
Its dimensions are wrong -
too long,
too thin,
maybe,
to house me
comfortably.

If I sever a limb,
will you comprehend
I can never mend
again?
Of course,
I'll be the right size -
so much easier
on your cold eyes.

Much neater this way in the end.

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Comments by other Members

Tim Darwin at 10:32 on 26 November 2003 Report this post

I think this is excellent; the tension between the harsh, violent imagery and the breezy, almost throw-away tone of the narrating voice is very powerful. Haunting, disturbing, moving, and insightful. Well done!

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spud at 11:02 on 26 November 2003 Report this post

Oh Bobo

Really liked this. Loved the economic use of language and the matter of fact tone that came across. Also put me in mind of a few verses by Sylvia Plath (this is a compliment) - similar type of feel - very detatched way of looking at a very personal issue.

Thanks

Spud

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Bobo at 13:50 on 26 November 2003 Report this post

Thanks a million guys - really encouraging words. It's hard to write this stuff without feeling a tad self-indulgent, but I suppose healthy to get it down on paper. Spud, I'd never take any comparison to Sylvia Plath as anything other than a HUGE compliment, so ta v'ry much! Tim, I'm thankful you appreciated the flippant tone of the piece - I was trying to convey the surface-level of trying to keep others happy when one has a large-ish personal issue to contend with.

Once again, thanks!

;0)
BoBo x

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