Change
by LMJT
Posted: 24 April 2010 Word Count: 600 Summary: For this week's old/new/borrowed/blue challenge. Thanks for reading. |
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‘I’m hoping you’re Daniel. Or I’m going to be making something of a fool of myself.’
Looking up from his menu, Daniel was relieved to see that the man before him was indeed the man from the profile pictures. He was even wearing the same sky blue shirt. Though ‘online dating’ was new to him, Daniel wasn’t naive enough to believe that people were all they claimed to be.
‘Graham?’ he said. He stood and the two men shook hands.
‘So you found it alright.’
‘Oh, fine. I borrowed an A – Z from a friend in the end.’ Graham smiled. ‘Anyway, apologies if you’ve been waiting long.’
Daniel shook his head. ‘I’ve only just arrived. Would you like a drink? I ordered a glass of rioja for myself. Maybe I should have ordered a bottle, but I wasn’t sure what you wanted. To drink, I mean.’
He brought his glass to his lips, aware that he sounded just as nervous as he felt. This meeting had been at the forefront of his mind for a fortnight and he’d been close to cancelling several times.
‘You’ll regret it if you do,’ Jane had said earlier in the week. ‘Just see how things go. I know it’s all new to you, but we’re too old to be getting cold feet.’
‘How wonderful to have such a realist as a friend, Jane. It’s a wonder I’m still breathing at 59.’
‘Why do you have to be so sarcastic about everything, Daniel? You know what I mean.’
And he did. He knew exactly what she meant. Which was why he was here now, hoping that Graham would offer friendship at least. Friendship seemed feasible if nothing else.
‘So, do you live nearby?’ Graham asked Daniel. ‘We’ve exchanged so many emails that I’ve lost track of the details.’
‘Not far. About a ten minute walk along the seafront.’
‘Well, it’s a lovely day for it.’ Graham looked around the back room of the restaurant in which they were the only patrons. ‘In fact, it’s a shame to be sitting all the way back here, isn’t it? You’d think they’d seat us in the window, wouldn’t you? Maybe I should ask the waiter.’
‘Here is fine,’ Daniel said quickly. ‘I thought it might be a little more private.’
Graham nodded. ‘Oh, yes, of course,’ he said, somewhat sardonically. ‘You did say you wanted to keep things ‘discreet’. I suppose a window seat would just be asking for trouble.’
‘It’s just, well, it’s a small town and a student might see me. You know what they can be like at that age. I wouldn’t hear the end of it.’
Graham looked him in the eye and Daniel saw a flicker of – what, annoyance? ‘You’re that worried about what they think of you?’
Daniel glanced away. Was he really about to ruin this? His actions this afternoon were a catalyst on which a lot depended. He wasn’t deluded. He knew that Graham wasn’t the solution to all his problems, but he also knew that the man he’d been until today had not made him happy. That man was carrying around years of fear and self-loathing. Today he could begin letting go of that burden; today he could make at least one change for the better.
‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘It’s too nice to be out here in the dark. We’ll move.’
‘You’re sure?’ Graham asked. ‘I wouldn’t want to force you out of your comfort zone.’
Daniel smiled. ‘I’m sure,’ he said. ‘I think I’ve been in my comfort zone for far too long, don’t you?’
Looking up from his menu, Daniel was relieved to see that the man before him was indeed the man from the profile pictures. He was even wearing the same sky blue shirt. Though ‘online dating’ was new to him, Daniel wasn’t naive enough to believe that people were all they claimed to be.
‘Graham?’ he said. He stood and the two men shook hands.
‘So you found it alright.’
‘Oh, fine. I borrowed an A – Z from a friend in the end.’ Graham smiled. ‘Anyway, apologies if you’ve been waiting long.’
Daniel shook his head. ‘I’ve only just arrived. Would you like a drink? I ordered a glass of rioja for myself. Maybe I should have ordered a bottle, but I wasn’t sure what you wanted. To drink, I mean.’
He brought his glass to his lips, aware that he sounded just as nervous as he felt. This meeting had been at the forefront of his mind for a fortnight and he’d been close to cancelling several times.
‘You’ll regret it if you do,’ Jane had said earlier in the week. ‘Just see how things go. I know it’s all new to you, but we’re too old to be getting cold feet.’
‘How wonderful to have such a realist as a friend, Jane. It’s a wonder I’m still breathing at 59.’
‘Why do you have to be so sarcastic about everything, Daniel? You know what I mean.’
And he did. He knew exactly what she meant. Which was why he was here now, hoping that Graham would offer friendship at least. Friendship seemed feasible if nothing else.
‘So, do you live nearby?’ Graham asked Daniel. ‘We’ve exchanged so many emails that I’ve lost track of the details.’
‘Not far. About a ten minute walk along the seafront.’
‘Well, it’s a lovely day for it.’ Graham looked around the back room of the restaurant in which they were the only patrons. ‘In fact, it’s a shame to be sitting all the way back here, isn’t it? You’d think they’d seat us in the window, wouldn’t you? Maybe I should ask the waiter.’
‘Here is fine,’ Daniel said quickly. ‘I thought it might be a little more private.’
Graham nodded. ‘Oh, yes, of course,’ he said, somewhat sardonically. ‘You did say you wanted to keep things ‘discreet’. I suppose a window seat would just be asking for trouble.’
‘It’s just, well, it’s a small town and a student might see me. You know what they can be like at that age. I wouldn’t hear the end of it.’
Graham looked him in the eye and Daniel saw a flicker of – what, annoyance? ‘You’re that worried about what they think of you?’
Daniel glanced away. Was he really about to ruin this? His actions this afternoon were a catalyst on which a lot depended. He wasn’t deluded. He knew that Graham wasn’t the solution to all his problems, but he also knew that the man he’d been until today had not made him happy. That man was carrying around years of fear and self-loathing. Today he could begin letting go of that burden; today he could make at least one change for the better.
‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘It’s too nice to be out here in the dark. We’ll move.’
‘You’re sure?’ Graham asked. ‘I wouldn’t want to force you out of your comfort zone.’
Daniel smiled. ‘I’m sure,’ he said. ‘I think I’ve been in my comfort zone for far too long, don’t you?’
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