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CYNARA SCOLYMUS (Artichoke)

by The Walrus 

Posted: 24 November 2003
Word Count: 81
Summary: Taking a bit of a flyer on this one.


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Bud of a large plant from the thistle family.
Its tough, unpalatable leaves
Conceal its fleshy edible heart.




Firm, locked thighs
Standing in readiness.
Starkly staring eyes
Of eagerness.

The tautness of
Her marbled mirrored mug
Pale and interesting,
Nothing divesting.

With dreamlike lifting
Of her right hand
To her chin,
She grips firmly
The velcro strip
And decisively rips
Upwards
And off,
Flinging its warm slackness
Like some discarded
Pair of knickers
Into the cobwebbed corner
Of the bathroom floor.








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Comments by other Members



Fearless at 21:21 on 24 November 2003  Report this post
Walrus

I like this a lot. I adore the feeling of anticipation built up through the first two stanzas. I sense an interesting change of pace, as she looks at her reflection, then flings the slackness - devoid of her.

Fearless

<Added>

Keep on experimenting - it's working out great!

roovacrag at 21:30 on 24 November 2003  Report this post
Enjoyed reading this. Quite different, continue in the use of words that you are so good at. xx Al

Bobo at 09:05 on 25 November 2003  Report this post
Ms W...fab imagery, great tension, fantastic release at the end.

Great stuff!

B x

The Walrus at 09:59 on 25 November 2003  Report this post
Fearless, Alice, Bobo, thanks for your comments... was wondering whether it actually worked.

It was inspired by a quote that a friend now and then comes out with: 'To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet' ('The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock', T S Eliot).

The Walrus


Tim Darwin at 19:39 on 25 November 2003  Report this post
Walrus (or should it be Odobenus rosmarus?), I feel your 'bit of a flyer' has definitely caught a thermal uplift here and soars beautifully; haunting, lyrical, evocative, and moving. Very well done indeed; many thanks.

Best,

Tim

The Walrus at 21:27 on 26 November 2003  Report this post
Tim, I thank you you for your eloquent comments. You are too kind.

The Walrus, aptly named.
(Typical characteristics of Obobenus Rosmarus are, as, I am sure you are well aware, large tusks, whiskers and virtually complete baldness).


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