Ying and yang

I seem to be, what I am not
I am what I do not seem to be
My splintered persona, my different faces
They are a fragment of the one, they are all a part of me

Seen through your eye I am bold, I am brazen
Seen through another’s I yield, I am expectation free
Watched by my mother, watched by my father
I am not what I intend they see

Friendly eyes find acceptance,
Friendly eyes find akin
Friendly eyes see returned compassion
Empathy flows from within.

Hateful eyes look for weakness,
Hateful eyes seek gain
Hateful eyes watch for mistakes to happen,
To chop down the tree, when only spite remains

Fearful eyes watch with peripheral,
Fearful eyes watch with distress
Fearful eyes turn away when confronted,
They fail to agree or to confess

Part of me is malicious, angry
Part of me is cold
Part of me caring, loving
Part of me is untold

Contentment is beyond me,
I long for what I do not fully know
I see the fragments of a man
The man I no longer want to follow

Suspended in a void of dissatisfaction,
My personality is twisted, it is bent
I struggle to challenge the changing self
As my actions leave my soul trampled and rent

The volatile spirit rebukes within me,
It chastises and it endures
My beliefs have become convoluted,
As I search for unknown cures

This chess game within is withering
Every false move is beset with woe,
The occasional steadfast move taken
Simply sends me further into my limbo

Looking towards my locus,
Each path is part concealed,
Is it only by facing my negativity
That my true nature will be revealed

Standing with the tempest around me
I feel more battered than purified
How do I embrace this fragile alliance
When I only see half a man inside

Sam Rix