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Unlucky Vampire

by Katheryn_UK 

Posted: 25 March 2010
Word Count: 1545
Summary: Anna is 1 of 6 children to be a born vampire. (there are errors but im just uploading as i do that chapters.)
Related Works: Unlucky Vampire - Chapter 2 • 

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Hey, my name is Anna Smith. A pretty common name I must admit. The most common in the country, or at least, it was when my father was younger. And I mean, a lot younger. The 1800's. I'm not common though. I am a vampire. I've been one for a few months now, since I turned 16. Four to be exact and not exactly loving my new found glory, so to speak.

Oh father says I'll get used to it. “It'll take time honey. Just be patient!” he says wearing his old 40's style suit and smoking a cuban cigar as if it's going out of fashion.
See, it's not like I'm a princess of sorts, but to him I am special. Well in a weird way I am. Apart from my father, I'm the only vampire in the family. There's of course mother, but she's human. So are the other five: Kim – 12, Rachelle – 19, Samuel – 20, Richard – 18 and Joel - who is my twin. For some unlucky reason, I was the only one of 6 children to be given the vampire curse. Or “unfortunate circumstances” as father calls it.

My father, Arthur, was born a vampire. He ages, but slowly. Like, a year for every twenty human years. And unlike the old myths that say vampire's cannot produce children, my father did. Or at least, he helped. My father met my mother, Amelle, when he was 160 years old and as far as I know, never had any children with any other lady. They have been happy together for all of 30 years. Mother persists on being changed so she doesnt have to grown old and lose him, but he won't change her unless she's at risk of a dying. Kind of a catch 22 really. Of course if she turns into a vampire, she'll technically die anyway.

For the past months since I became a full vampire on my 16th birthday, father has been training me. How to feed properly – urgh blood! - and how to fight for when and if I ever have to.
Its tiresome and annoying and all of inbetween, and if it was upto my free will I would feed on my family but since that's almost the same as incest, I can't. That would make it so much easier. So far I've learned to feed on small animals, yeah, who would have thought that a rabbit would taste so nice without having to cook it! I know, poor animals. The sad part is, before I changed, I used to keep all sorts of pets. I had a cat, 2 dogs and a guinea pig. Unfortunately, they all mysteriously died. Or thats what mother and father tell me. I just think I killed them in my first days of vampirism. Apparently when you first turn, you go through a few days of pure hunger and will drink the blood of anything living and don't remember anything afterwards. Almost like being drunk I suppose. I'll never experience alcoholism now that I'm a vampire.

I'm currently taking a break from fight training. I'm in my bedroom that might as well be a vampire cell because I'm always in it unless I'm outside with father. I rarely see my other brothers and sisters because I don't trust my instincts. I know that at any moment my hunger could take over my brain and body movements and I could attack any one of them. I never want that to happen. So until I'm fully used to my 'circumstances', i'm not going to see the others anymore than is necessary.
I used to be so close to my mother. We were best friends, or as close as you can be to a parent. But when I changed, everything changed. She says she understands that it'll be hard on me and her and everything will be better in a few more months. But how many months longer can I go before I go insane? How long will it be before I'm not feeling like a monster? How long is a piece of string?
I'll never know if I wont hurt them. For all I know I could sleep walk into one of their rooms and suck their blood too much that they die.

I feel sorry for Joel the most. He's probably the only twin in the world that isn't the same as the other. He's one chromosone short when it comes to me. I feel sorry for him not because we're different, not because I don't get to spend time with him. I feel bad for him because he can feel what I'm feeling at the strongest moments.
He can sense when I'm angry, or upset or happy. Or hungry. He says it's horrible how he gets these emotions. I don't blame him. If I blame anyone it's father. But what's done is done, and as much as I hate my life right now, I dont want to die.
Being a vampire doesn't give you immortality. It just prolongs life. But only for a certain amount of time. We can be killed with almost anything a human can. Although only some things actually kill us properly.
A stake, well, depending on how old a vampire you are, can either kill you permanantly, or knock you out for a few days until someone takes it out for the wound to heal. Oh yeah, we have fast healing skills too. Crazy, huh? And get this, I used to have the worst stomach for blood. I would throw up if someone cut themselves. Unfortunately I still get a bit woozy over it. Then the animal part of me takes over and the normal side to me disappears and doesnt notice.

I have to get ready for a party tonight, it's Richards' 18th birthday today. Lucky him! I step infront of my full length mirror thats next to my bedroom window.
This house dates as far back as when father was born. His parents built it. I know, crazy. But it's still standing and nothing has been replaced. Except maybe a couple of windows.
My room is pretty, with lilac colours walls and light pink and mauve bed covers on a four poster bed. I'm lucky to have a big bed. The others don't. I guess I can see where the jealousy comes from. Personally I don't know who would want to be a vampire. I have a huge wardrobe that covers the full width of one side of the room. Another cupboard with equipment in for training and a desk with a laptop and keyboard on in the corner opposite the mirror.
I'm fairly slim. Most of my clothes I've had since I was 13. I've not really grown out of them. I do look 16 though. I have light skin but not pale like the myths of what a vampire looks like even though I'm also the only red head in the family. Okay, it's more aubern.
I know most people with red or ginger hair have pale skin so I'm lucky in that respects. I love the sun. well, I used to. I can't go out in the sun anymore. Not until I become immune to it.
The rest of my family have light brown hair. Father has black hair but he has pale skin since sunlight effects him as it does me now, and he never suntanned in his youth.
I've always liked my hair but mother hates it. She says it's the one gene that skipped her generation and as usual I'm the unlucky one. I think every trait for either of mother and fathers side that they've gotten away with, I've caught. Thankfully I like my hair. Its tame. I know a lot of people with ginger, sorry I mean, red hair, have trouble keeping it under control, but mines only lightly curly.

My friends at school used to jokingly say I had unlucky luck because I get things I don't want but other people do. I left school when I hit 16, thank god. I still keep in touch with a couple of my friends. Adriane especially. Without her; her understanding, her warmth and her ability to endulge in my free clothes, I wouldn't manage. She's the best. Since I changed, she's still been there for me. She knows that I can't risk being close to any human for too long until I'm comfortable with the smell and temptation of blood. She didn't cringe or scream or run a mile when she found out what I would turn into. I was 13 when I found out what father was and how I would become a one when I hit 16, which in his days was the prime age for maturity. We fought for ages about it and I swore I hated him. As soon as I found out I went straight to Adrianne and told her everything. I cried for an hour straight. I was expecting her to hate me, but she instantly hugged me and told me everything would work out for the best and she would never leave my side. In that moment I knew I would be okay with her around.

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Comments by other Members

sahara at 21:29 on 25 March 2010  Report this post
Hi Katheryn,
This a great start.
The narrative style is interesting, although "Anna" seems to wonder between disliking her new-found Vampirism and complete indifference, and perhaps the comment "crazy" is overused? She claims to be "hating every minute of it", and so you need to show that she hates it to make her a more believable character.

You occasionally use too many words, for example:
"especially I am special"
"Joel who is my twin and also 16 like myself"

These seem to express the same concept more than once, because twins are obviously the same age, and "also" and "like myself" just repeat this idea unneccessarily. Perhaps just try: Joel - my twin, as Anna's age is later mentioned, and you could also bring the sentence about when the transformation occured earlier in the piece, so Anna's age is revealed before the list of her siblings.

I liked this phrase:
I'm the only vampire, aside from my father, in the family"

however, I think it would be even more effective if you just changed the order slightly, for example:
"Apart from my father, I'm the only vampire in the family".

The phrase,
"suck their blood too much that they die"
doesn't sound quite right so you might want to look at that.

You also need to be careful with your apostrophes - there are a few instances where they are missing, particularly where some of your "its" should be "it's".

I look forward to seeing how Anna copes with her predicament,


< sorry that first bit should be "wander" >

Katheryn_UK at 18:47 on 27 March 2010  Report this post
oh thanks Sahara. i do agree that there are bits to work on. so thanks for the tips. xx

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