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Helman

by Cholero 

Posted: 20 March 2010
Word Count: 310
Summary: Jen's Pi Challenge


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Helman fell off the edge of the world with a bump and sat on the little ledge which runs round it, out of view from anyone except God who, if He was watching, doubtless chuckled a little and got on with His Work.

There was no way back up, just this shelf made of grey stuff and beyond it the stars. Drips of ocean splashed onto Helman, but apart from that and the sensation of being alone, he felt fine. If anything he was irritated. Because it upset Helman to be proved wrong, a quality which involved him in an awful lot of arguments. Such as the one that got him thrown off the Santa Rosa.

‘So go find out yourself!’ a furious voice had shouted from the stern rail.

‘Yeah, screw you!’ another had said.

Helman looked around the ledge. There was nothing but its flat surface, and he had just begun to wonder if what was happening was real when he heard a voice.

‘Oh hallo gosh we’ve got a live one have we only I walk the circumference cleaning up you see and it takes a year and a bit and the fact is I usually find you chaps dead what’s your name?’

A little man stood there, no higher than a child. He held a cart with a pole laid across it on one end of which was a shepherd’s crook, on the other a wide-headed broom. The little man’s left hand was not a hand at all, but a coarse-toothed circular saw.

So now, at least, Helman knew: this wasn’t real.

And whilst he used that thought to ease his panic the little man reached out with the crook, hooked Helman’s neck and messily sawed off his head.

Using the broom the little man brushed Helman off the ledge.

Then he went on his way.






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 21:06 on 20 March 2010  Report this post
What are you on? Surreal but
And whilst that thought eased his panic the little man reached out with the crook, hooked Helman’s neck and and messily sawed off his head.
made me sit up

Cholero at 21:11 on 20 March 2010  Report this post
Oonah

What are you on?


I don't think that's the first time you've asked me that question...

Not sure I have an answer.

Too little sleep perhaps?

Pete

Jubbly at 22:00 on 20 March 2010  Report this post
Hi Pete, lovely weird little tale. I loved the last three lines, magic. This line - ‘Oh hallo gosh we’ve got a live one have we only I walk the circumference cleaning up you see and it takes a year and a bit and the fact is I usually find you chaps dead what’s your name?’ through me a bit as it was slightly awkward to read, it might benefit from a bit more punctuation, but all in all a great trip to a strange place.

J

crowspark at 07:56 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
So he goes over the edge and loses his head while God looks the other way?
This has a good feel to it but I wanted to know why Helman was thrown overboard (couldn't cut the mustard huh?) and a suggestion that the cleaner, though small, was incredibly strong.
Very clever and out-on-a-limb entry for the challenge,
Great ending.

Bill

Crimsondelilah at 08:20 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Very good. Quite surreal. Poor Helman really does come to a sticky end doesn't he? But I would have liked to have known how elman found himself on the edge of the world in the first place.

Bunbry at 10:31 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
One - nil to the Flat Earth Society eh Pete?! This is a little cracker.

Nick

Cholero at 11:08 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
That's it Nick!

Thanks

Cholero at 11:09 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Julie

Thanks for your kind words. Will have a think about the dialogue.

Pete

Cholero at 11:09 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Thanks Margaret.

Cholero at 11:10 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Thanks Bill.

Yes this could do with some work.

Pete

Prospero at 13:22 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Hi Pete

This was very funny and totally barmy.

Own up! You are Baron Muchausen aren't you?

Best

Prosp

jenzarina at 16:20 on 21 March 2010  Report this post
Wonderfully surreal, yet confirms everything I'd ever suspected...

tusker at 16:02 on 22 March 2010  Report this post
Loved this crazy story. So visual. So completely off the wall but still sounds REAL!

Jennifer


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