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Jennifer Bream

by poemsgalore 

Posted: 22 November 2003
Word Count: 91
Summary: A lifelong wish


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Jennifer Bream

I used to envy Jennifer Bream
her long red hair and skin like cream,
her eyes that sparkled like Emeralds fine,
I used to wish these things were mine.
But you wanted a girl with cheeks like a Rose
and freckles across the bridge of her nose,
with glossy brown hair and dark chocolate eyes.
You wanted me - much to my surprise.
So now I donít envy Jennifer Bream,
her near perfect looks are no longer my dream,
because Jennifer Bream doesnít have you ó
but I do.






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Comments by other Members



Ticonderoga at 21:16 on 22 November 2003  Report this post

How wonderful; lovely rhythm & swing to it & such a happy energy; perfectly expressed. The recipient should be very proud and flattered.

Best,

Mike

Ticonderoga at 21:16 on 22 November 2003  Report this post

How wonderful; lovely rhythm & swing to it & such a happy energy; perfectly expressed. The recipient should be very proud and flattered.

Best,

Mike

Ellenna at 16:21 on 23 November 2003  Report this post
kathleen lovely poem.. nice to feel happy in your own skin isnt it! enjoyed this....

hmmm remembering someone called Janet Lindahl grrrrr.. lol

Ellie :)


roovacrag at 13:34 on 25 November 2003  Report this post
I loved this, even if i do have red hair. lol.Think we all envied someone who we thought more beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think my late husband loved me because i was a chef and a scatty artist. xx Alice

James Graham at 20:23 on 26 November 2003  Report this post
Very effective, just the right length and good rhythm, slowing down in the last two lines. I agree with Mike that 'The recipient should be very proud' - in fact this could be imagined as a really original and personal message for a blank birthday card. It has the rhythm and rhyme in common with ready-made card verses, but all the life that such verses lack.

James.

poemsgalore at 18:23 on 27 November 2003  Report this post
Thank you James, it wasn't written with anyone in mind, but I can see how it would be good on a valentine's card or something.

olebut at 09:39 on 21 December 2003  Report this post
Kathleen

I have just come across your poem and I can only echo everybody else's praise,

how everybody must wish they receive a poem like this at some time in their life ( equally any idea what Jennifer Bream is doing as you are obvioulsy fixed up ;) )

I have one minor commment would it improve the metre if you removed the word but from the last line i think it disrupts the flow and is not required.

take care

david


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