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CAT AND MOUSE CAPERS (revised)

by Joella 

Posted: 18 February 2010
Word Count: 488
Summary: Next instalment in the Happy Bottom series. Happy Bottom is a story made up of a series of poems that inter-relate like chapters in a book. Cat and Mouse Capers is the fourth poem. I have an illustrator, we hope to self publish next year and I would really appreciate your comments into any aspect of this verse. Thank you!


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CAT AND MOUSE CAPERS
Eggs and bacon sizzling in pan
the Major in comfy chair
Moggy, Fireside, by the hearth
curled up without a care.

Suddenly, all hell broke loose
as Panic and Scurry scampered
Fireside didn’t turn a hair
their escape route wasn’t hampered.

Housekeeper squealed, stood on chair
the Major, he gave chase
round and round the kitchen
getting redder in the face.

T- towel flailed, crockery smashed
trophies fell off the shelf
as Major Payne cursed the cat
for not deploying stealth.

Fireside dodged an angry boot
and chased out of the house
‘Not keeping you,’ the Major cried
‘If you won’t catch a mouse.’

All in all, the deed was done
the mice escaped in fear
and later they both told their tale
to those who’d lend an ear.

Fireside skulked off to the barn,
but with no food to find
he hoped, one day, there’d be a way
to change his master’s mind.

The next morning...

‘Twittawoo,’ said Olive owl
perched high upon a beam
whilst peering down on Fireside
who was looking rather lean.

‘So, what’s up with you ?’ she said
as Fireside licked a paw
and Panic and Scurry’s noses
were poked out through the straw.

Fireside said he was ravenous
in a life increasingly dire
for being a stray was no fun
and he wished to go home by the fire.
 
‘Hey,’ Scurry said, ‘You crazy mog
there has to be a way
so I suggest we hatch a plan
and try to save the day.

The Major kicked you out,
'cos you don’t like killing mice
So you’ll just have to show him,
that you’ve taken his advice.’

Fireside looked at Scurry,
Olive and Panic too
who then gathered round
to discuss what they could do.  

They spent the morning planning
with everything on cue
till all the cast was ready
having carefully thought it through.

The drama was quite simple:
‘Murder On The Lawn’
but hopefully, without the  blood
or bodies being torn.

Fireside played protagonist - 
a - ‘ruthless killer cat’...
the two mice would be sacrificed
so moggy got his mat.

“Action!” ordered Fireside
nervous you could tell
till Olive managed to ram a twig
and ring the Major’s bell.

Fireside, with the mice on lawn
was full of apprehension
the Major though was at his door
and paying full attention.

The two mice scuttled round and round
Fireside giving chase
he picked them up, the deed was done
and two lives went to waste.

When Olive flew as decoy
and the Major looked her way
Panic and Scurry scampered off
but had they saved the day?

The Major grew suspicious -
when no bodies could be found
so, Fireside quickly licked his lips
to make the act look sound

But, Major Payne was not impressed
and with Fireside on his mat
‘No fish for you,’ he firmly said
‘until you’ve killed a rat!’











 







 
































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Comments by other Members



James Graham at 19:46 on 19 February 2010  Report this post
This will be a great addition to your book, Joella. It’s an animal caper in contrast to the human follies of the Major and Wally the builder etc. Fireside follows in the tradition of Tom, Sylvester and other hilarious cats - except Fireside can’t be bothered catching mice whereas these other guys try endlessly in vain. There must be tremendous scope for your illustrator in this story.

Here’s a few odds and ends that might complete the polishing.

his moggy, Fireside, by the hearth


Maybe full stops after ‘scampered’ and ‘hair’. (Slowing the pace, before the action.)

TROphies FELL from OFF the SHELF
the MAjor ROUNDly CURSED the CAT


(to give every second syllable a stress).

for BEing a STRAY was NOT for HIM


That’s all, I think - the rest is A-one. How are you progressing with the book? Have you a publisher in mind?

James.

Joella at 21:31 on 19 February 2010  Report this post
Thank you James. I like your suggested changes. You've given me a few lines to use. Really grateful, thanks. I'll mention you in the book. Honest - I will.

I've actually finished writing the poems. There are about 12 for the first book. I'm just editing at the moment, while Paul works on the designs. I'm not looking for a publisher. I'd like to publish it myself and keep control of the rights. I have a domain name for a website - www,happybottom.co..uk and will get it up and running before the book comes out. Thanks again, James. I really do appreciate your time and expert advice!! Kind regards, Joella.


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