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The Fly
Posted: 17 April 2003
Word Count: 84
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I see the fly
Dead!
On its side
Wings intact
Large
Fat
Black
Fly
I saw it last week
I see it again
What happened to the spider?
The arachnid
The mighty eight-legged female?
What happened to her roaming through the house?
What happened to her gobbling?
Her voracious appetite?
Or may be
she's choosy?
It's
no fun
to eat
the dead,
When you can
devour
the living!
The fly
hovers still
In vague
equilibrium
Between death
and obscurity.
--- Jib, 18 June 2001
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Comments by other Members
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 roger at 11:08 on 17 April 2003
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Jibonnessa...excellent. You've inspired me to write a poem about spiders and flies before the day's out!
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roger at 11:26 on 17 April 2003
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Yup...I've just posted it. But I'm only being silly, yours is better (damn you!)
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 James Graham at 18:34 on 30 May 2003
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Hi, Jibunnessa. I haven't responded to your work for quite a long time. I like this poem. There's one exclamation mark in it, but the whole thing is an exclamation. I mean there's a great spontaneity about it. If your short lines were run together instead of being as they are, the poem would maybe still say what it says but would read as a rather solemn reflective piece. As it is, it has a lightness about it that gives it a lot of life and energy. The arachnid, the 'mighty eight-legged female', is formidable. She conjures up horror movies. She's a real predator; she doesn't deign to eat carrion. The ending is just right - 'Between death/ and obscurity' gives the reader something to think about, a puzzle that's not too difficult, but not too easy either. If the fly's not eaten, its destiny isn't fulfilled. It's in limbo. A law of nature (red in tooth and claw) is being broken. These are just some takes on it. It's an intriguing ending.
James.
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Adam at 16:28 on 16 June 2003
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Hi!
I really liked this poem. Despite the aesthetically fragmented style, it flows very nicely, and even has something of the fly's speedy but erratic rhythms. Not only do you conjure the fly itself, but seem to use it as a neat analogy for the transience of human existence. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but there definitely seems to be something of the metaphysical covertly present. Well done!
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