"Has anybody seen the bridge?" He seemed disoriented as he wrung his gnarled hands and turned in aimless circles, "Where's that confounded bridge?"

"Hey! You can't say that!" said the overlarge man in a green visor and glasses with tape holding them together.

"What? What's that?" asked the Gnome, just becoming aware the man was there, "Were you talking to me? Have you seen the bridge?"

"Stop saying that!" cried the man, "You just can't keep saying that! It's song lyrics and each time you say it...." the man looked around before continuing in a confidential whisper, "somebody has to pay someone else. And that just means more work for me!"

The gnome looked up at the hulking man, sweaty bald head, transparent green visor, soft fleshy hands, "You're The Accountant aren't you? The Big Bean Counter, Mr. Checksandbalances. You keep the universe in order....all the jots and tittles jotted and.....titillated. Your sock drawer is probably orderly and color coded as well, eh?"

"Err.....well, now you mention it..."

"Well don't worry about these song lyrics, I wrote them, so I can say them all I like, and you won't owe me a thing." said the old Gnome.

"You wrote that? That was you? I love that song! Did you meet the band? Did you get to hang out with them? That must have been totally awesome!"

The Gnome looked from under bushy eyebrows at the suddenly animated Accountant, who was developing wet spots on his shirt under his arms, "Yeah, it was a real blast," he said sarcastically, "I couldn't find the bridge then, and I still can't find it. I know I had it three or four thousand years ago, but I just can't remember where I left it."

"Errr...... just where does this mysterious bridge lead to?" queried The Accountant.

"Well, you see, that's just the thing, isn't it? It's the bridge that allows us to break on through to the other side." said the Gnome.

"Break on through to the other side?"

"Break on through to the other side, yes." Answered the Gnome. Trying to refocus on his quest, the Gnome started to wander off, wondering where he could have left the bridge.

"Wait!" said The Accountant, "Did you write that too?.....the 'break on through to the other side' bit?"

"Mmmm, yes, I did. You see I spent some time on Earth looking for this bridge back in the 60s and 70s. It was a really fun time then and guy with long hair and beard, seemed to fit right in. Even my pointy red hat was OK back then. But soon it was time to go, and I found the stairway to heaven, and kept on moving.....like a rolling stone, you know?"

The Account nodded his head and fingered one of his chins, a far away look on his face, "Must have been amazing for you, and since then, the quality of music coming from there has just not been the same."

The gnome nodded, "Yeah, I know. But I had to go. I stayed at the Hotel California for a while....talk about life in the fast lane! Those were good times back then. But I could never find the bridge. So I roam about, constantly searching."

"You're the Roaming Gnome!!" cried The Accountant, "You know, I think my cousin dated your sister."

"You don't say? This universe is getting smaller and smaller all the time."

Together, they wandered off to have a drink and solve the big problems of the universe.

And that bridge is still somewhere over the rainbow.............