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When I was ten
Posted: 21 January 2010
Word Count: 51
Summary: A very Late happy new year to all been very busy lately so time for a bit of R&R. I wrote this in 1987 it may lack impact as you read it, as the setup is some what different in the original and the word small has been made smaller than the rest of the text as is the word tall been made to look tall but here goes, hope you like it.
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When
I was ten
I was only
small
I was
very
small
when
I was ten
When
I was ten
I longed to be
tall
not
very small
but now
I am 30 and
tall
I want to be
small again
small is better after all
and so is being ten
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Comments by other Members
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 James Graham at 19:31 on 22 January 2010
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Hi Tony - this is frustrating, because I wanted to make your 'small' very small and your 'tall' very tall (typographically) but the system won't let me. With this kind of poem you need to go the whole way - make the most of it. It's a joke, but it's essentially a verse joke. I mean it can be made more effective by rearranging the lines. Written as a prose paragraph, it wouldn’t amount to much. But like this, it becomes a really amusing visual object:
When
I was ten
I was only
small
I was
very
small
when
I was ten
When
I was ten
I longed to be
tall
not
very small
but now
I am 30 and
tall
I want to be
small again
small is better after all
and so is being ten |
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I did this in Word, the font was Times New Roman. ‘Small’, ‘very small’, and ‘small again’ were in 8pt and ‘tall’ in 24pt. The rest in 12pt. Try it for yourself if you like. I don’t know if you know the work of ee cummings - but there’s some resemblance here.
James.
<Added>
The very last 'small', in the second last line, is normal size (12pt).
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 Tmog at 16:38 on 24 January 2010
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I have not read any of e.e. cummings; but i will now, thanks for the help. You have it set out very different to the original I one I have here and I think I like yours better. Thanks again.
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Nella at 16:57 on 24 January 2010
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Oooh, that's a brilliant poem of the day. Thanks for posting it, James.
I enjoyed your poem, Tony, and like what James did with it.
Robin
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James Graham at 20:06 on 26 January 2010
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I think I was just trying to show how much potential there is in a poem based on repetition, or repetition with variation. If it suits the poem - as it often does - it can be ‘stretched’, presented in very short lines with frequent spaces. It’s surprising how effective this can be. Here’s another cummings, also based on repetition with variation (though the lines are not so short). Notice typographical variations as well as differences in the wording.
James.
in Just-
spring when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame balloonman
whistles far and wee
and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's spring
when the world is puddle-wonderful
the queer
old balloonman whistles
far and wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing
from hop-scotch and jump-rope and
it's spring
and the goat-footed
balloonMan whistles
far
and
wee |
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<Added>
Here we go again - when you post, things don't appear as you want them. Cummings puts a double space between the words in 'far...and...wee' For three dots, imagine two spaces! Shows the simple little things a poet can do for effect!
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SarahT at 21:14 on 27 January 2010
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Hi Tony,
I think James has nailed it on the head but it occurred to me that if you make the changes that he suggests then the poem would sit well in an anthology for children, because of the visual nature, i not the subject.
Sarah
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Tmog at 10:32 on 01 February 2010
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I have changed the format as visually it does look better thanks James.
Tony M
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James Graham at 10:42 on 02 February 2010
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Hi Tony - You may be able to use this idea for other poems. Got to wait for inspiration I suppose, but anything that's humorous, involving play on words and repetition, could be tried out in this 'long slim' form.
I hope members will take the tiny trouble to copy your poem into Word and alter font sizes to see how it should look. It's quite a simple straightforward example, but it reminds us that typographical elements do have their place in poetry.
James.
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 FelixBenson at 15:08 on 03 February 2010
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Hi Tony
I am late to this - but I thought it was very good - very funny too. One that you can enjoy on the page, but which you can really imagine coming alive on performace too!
Best, Kirsty
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