The soft light of morning was spilling into the room were Billy was stretched out on a bed. His head was thumping from the drink the night before. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. Billy looked at his clothing, his heart skipped a beat – a woman’s dress.

He played back the evening before: Who had he been with? Where was he? Whose room was he in? He looked around the room, plain with very little furniture; it wasn’t a police cell so he started looking for other clues. There was nothing on the walls apart from a cross. He strained to hear the slightest noise but it was deathly silent.

Billy slowly got up from the bed and walked gingerly towards the window holding the side of his head which was now throbbing violently. He gazed out on a well manicured lawn lined with shrubs. He opened the door and stepped out into the corridor and gasped. Walking away from his room was the figure of a nun.

He went back into the room and closed the door. ‘How had he ended up in a convent?’ he thought. His heart was pounding fast, ‘Quick! Think! What happened last night?’ The whole sordid event came flooding back. He had been on his stag night. His mates had dressed him up as a tart and as they were leaving the pub a couple of nuns had looked askance. Billy’s best man, Jim, had shouted at the nuns that Billy wanted to join their convent; the nuns scurried away into the night. After that he couldn't remember a thing.

‘How am I going to get out?’ I’ve got no clothes other than this dress. He glanced across towards the bed and noticed the lurid pink wig on the side table. As he stood by the window debating what to do next there was a knock at the door.

‘Sister Jane are you alright?’

Billy looked shocked , ‘Sister Jane? Who was Sister Jane?’ he thought. He waited hoping whoever it was would go away.

‘Sister Jane, you can’t stay in there forever, I shall fetch the Mother Superior.’ Footsteps retreated down the corridor. Billy grabbed the wig and opened the door. His face dropped sitting on a chair opposite the door was an elderly nun.

‘So you decided to get up?’

‘Eh, sorry I think there has been an awful mistake,’ apologised Billy.

‘No mistake Sister.’

‘Look I’m not a nun.’

‘Mother Superior will decide.’

Billy looked at the nun and noticed a white stick close to her seat. He tiptoed passed her down the corridor and when he was a reasonable distance he dashed for the first open door and raced across the lawn towards the wall. He scrambled up the wall and as he took a rest on the top he heard clapping and laughter. The whole convent was assembled watching him. He looked down on the roadside to see several of his mates waiting for him.

‘Come on Sister Jane you don’t want to be late for your wedding,’ laughed Jim.

‘You sod!’ roared Billy.