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Christmas is Impossible

by M. Close 

Posted: 28 December 2009
Word Count: 147
Summary: This poem was written by my 8 yr. old grand daughter. I have not edited it, this is how she wrote it. I told her of you all and she wanted to see what you thought of this. Me, being the biased Grandpa, thought it was pretty good for an eight yr. old.


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Written by Amber Lipman
Age 8 Christmas 2009

Christmas is impossible,
To some folks around here.
Some donít put up Christmas lights,
Some donít listen to hear,

Sleigh bells jingling, Santa calling,
Reindeer one by one.
People praying and people saying,
How much Christmas is fun.

Some people donít even care
Or believe in Santa Claus.
They just sit around in their chairs,
Watching the Wizard of Oz.

Christmas is impossible,
But not to me,
Iíd rather put up Christmas lights,
Than sit and drink some tea.

I love Christmas so, so much,
So do my sister and brother.
Christmas is so full of joy,
I just had to tell my mother.

Do you like Christmas?
I really hope you do.
Cause if you donít and you came here,
I wouldnít let you do,
The most special part, putting up the star.

P.S. Itís my job anyway.






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 16:44 on 28 December 2009  Report this post
Amber. I think you did a great job on that poem and I hope you did have a lovely Christmas

In the first verse, I'd suggest
Christmas is impossible,
to some folks around here.
Some donít put up Christmas lights,
or listen, or hear,

because that avoids repeating words. Lots of people think repeating words is good in a poem and it can be but only use it when you really want to make something stand out. Tyr to avoid it when you can.

Another bit of advice is that you don't really need to use a capital at the start of each new line unless it starts a sentence too. Old fashioned poets used to do that - it was what we call a convention - a sort of rule...

The weakest point was this rhyme:
So do my sister and brother.
Christmas is so full of joy,
I just had to tell my mother.

'and love for one another'
would work...

But you were very clever here!
Do you like Christmas?
I really hope you do.
Cause if you donít and you came here,
I wouldnít let you do,
The most special part, putting up the star.


When you changed the length of the verse, you gave the poem a new and very fresh ending and I liked the way you spoke to the reader - me as if I might come to your house and join in. Also by rhyming 'here' with 'star' you used a very grown up rhyme called assonance where you change the ee sound to an o sound or u or as in this case a

I started writinf poetry when I was about your age because I just liked reading poems and doing verse speaking competitions. Keep up the good work.

Oonah
(your Granpa can show you a photo of me online so you know who's talking )


Nella at 19:20 on 28 December 2009  Report this post
This is wonderful, Amber! Well done! I like the way you make the point that Christmas is really something very special, and that the most special thing of all is something small like hanging a star on the tree.
All the best, and a Happy New Year! (Will we get a poem about the New Year, too?!)
Robin

NMott at 21:19 on 28 December 2009  Report this post
Just popped in to say I love the title, and enjoyed reading the poem. Good punchline at the end.


- NaomiM

V`yonne at 16:54 on 29 December 2009  Report this post
Oh and amber is my very favourite jewelry - such a nice name

jim60 at 09:31 on 30 December 2009  Report this post
Hi Mike,
You can tell Amber that I enjoyed this. A Very nice poem.
Glad you put it up.
Cheers, Jim.


FelixBenson at 15:10 on 01 January 2010  Report this post
Hi Mike and Amber

Thanks so much for posting this poem - I really enjoyed it, especially some of the rather sophisticated rhymes, and the joy of Christmas - I'd rather put up Christmas lights too!
I love the ending (putting up the star is the top job!)
Hope you had a merry Christmas, and happy new year to you both!
Kirsty

joanie at 18:24 on 06 January 2010  Report this post
Well done, Amber. I used to write poetry when I was 8 years old. It's great, isn't it? I like your ideas about Christmas. It is a very confusing time, when people all have different ideas. I thought you put that across very well!

joanie

jenzarina at 18:31 on 07 January 2010  Report this post
What a wonderful poem, Amber!
You really carried me away with the strong emotions you feel.
Your rhyming was excellent but the best thing was how you started looking at people generally, then gradually narrowed it down to your own vision of Christmas, with the touching last line rounding it off beautifully. I think you'd convince even the grumpiest Scrooge of the joy of Christmas.

I don't think you need a comma at the end of the first verse, it would run into the 2nd verse more smoothly without.

Just reading it again it struck me how well balanced the two halves of the poem are.

Good job! Keep writing!

Jen xx

Findy at 09:04 on 08 January 2010  Report this post
Hi Mike and Amber

Oh wow, a beautiful poem Amber. I enjoyed it very much, it is so full of light and joy, you have created a lovely ambience. REally loved these lines -

Iíd rather put up Christmas lights,
Than sit and drink some tea.


The last para is fantastic

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas

findy



M. Close at 14:45 on 11 January 2010  Report this post
Thank you all so much for reading and commenting on Amber's poem. It was a real encouragement for her to see what you all said. She aske me to pass on the following message from her...

"I'm sorry I could'nt get a poem of New Years Day in time. But I could do a poem or two or three by Valentines Day"

She is a very prolific writer already

Is there a site for kids to post their writing? That would be nice if there was an outlet for kids like we have here.

Thanks again,
Mike and Amber



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