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At The Table

by LMJT 

Posted: 05 December 2009
Word Count: 400
Summary: For this week's family get together challenge to include a strong smell, vegetable, something sharp and piece of crystal. Thanks for the challenge.

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Mya poured herself another large glass of Chenin Blanc, the taste sharp on her palette. She hadn’t planned to drink, but what with Jade’s announcement and the champagne that followed, she’d been marooned here. Tomorrow she’d wake in her childhood bedroom in which everything remained the same as it always had been; everything aside from the ‘Forest Fresh’ air-freshener that her mother had installed throughout the house and was now tickling the back of her throat.

As Jade mused aloud about the colour scheme for the wedding, Mya found herself deliberately tuning her out, thinking instead about the stack of year nine coursework that awaited her at home, the admin forms she had to complete for the year seven daytrip, the assembly she had to plan for Wednesday...

‘What about you, then, Mya?’ Jade asked. Her hand was clamped tight over Anthony’s and the crystal in her engagement ring seemed suddenly enormous. ‘Any special man in your life?’

‘Not at the moment,’ she replied. She looked to her mother. ‘That asparagus was lovely, Mum, thank you.’

Rose Harper shrugged, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she still had two daughters in the room. Perhaps she was being overdramatic, but Mya knew that her mother’s allegiance had shifted: she knew that in her mother’s mind a married daughter was far more pride-worthy than one with a career.

‘I can’t wait to tell Angela over the road,’ she said now. ‘Her Marianne’s been with her fella for three years and he’s not once proposed. And her with three kids.’ She tutted. ‘No one wants to buy an ice cream if they can have the van for free.’

‘What about that guy you met online?’ Jade asked.

Mya heard her mother gasp beside her.

‘You’re not meeting people from the interweb,’ she said. ‘I’ve read about that in Chat. It’s all rapists and murderers.’

Mya stifled a sigh. ‘We met in a bar, Mother. A busy bar.

He was more interested in the wine list than anything else.’

‘An alcoholic,’ Rose said, shaking her head. ‘Just as bad.’

‘Well, what does it matter? I won’t be seeing him again.’

Jade frowned, a look of genuine concern on her face.

‘Why? What happened?’

The clock ticked loudly in the background and a moment passed before Mya said calmly, ‘He was wearing a toupee,’ and the room was filled with laughter, her own the loudest.

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Comments by other Members

choille at 19:08 on 05 December 2009  Report this post
Great stuff LMJT.

I think this opened up to a great tale after a slightly 'tell' start - for me at least. Bit it's really good.

The second bit really flowed along & the timing at the end up is superb.

I really liked the bit about tuning her out - I do that sometimes.
I also loved the bit about the interweb & the rapists & murderers.

Really good flash
All the best

Cholero at 21:15 on 05 December 2009  Report this post

Though the way you convey the relationships here was nicely cool and understated. Loved the asparagus line. Lots communicated without being explicit, especially the smug self-congratulation of the couple to be, nice touch with the engagement ring suddenly seeming so large.

Felt like it should go on longer and that you kind of bunged on an ending because you had to rather than because it was necessarily the natural end of the scene.

Real people in a real place, nicely positioned voice, really enjoyed it, felt like I was in the hands of someone who knows what they're doing.

Tiny nit everything remained the same as it always had been do you need 'the same'?

Thanks for a good read.


V`yonne at 15:16 on 06 December 2009  Report this post
LOL A good read

Prospero at 19:16 on 07 December 2009  Report this post
An oh so common tale, well and smoothly told, Liam.

Thanks for the read.



tusker at 15:33 on 08 December 2009  Report this post
I enjoyed this Liam.

Disliked the mother though. WWhy do some women want their daughters married off? Maybe it's because I'm a mother who dislikes weddings.


Bianca at 11:14 on 09 December 2009  Report this post

I enjoyed the way the non engaged daughter kept so calm about this. I could almost feel her anger which I think was beginning to bubble up underneath. Still at least the mother had something to taunt the neighbours with.

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