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Acceptance

by LMJT 

Posted: 21 November 2009
Word Count: 559
Summary: For this week's extension of a flash challenge. This is an extra 280 words on my 'Rotten Apples' story from last week. Thanks, Liam
Related Works: Rotten Apples • 

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‘You’ll need some help, Mum,’ Kate said. ‘Around the house and in the garden. Just until you start feeling better, I mean.’

They were sitting either side of the kitchen table in her mother’s Cornwall home; Radio 4 burbled in the background and the cat slept in front of the Aga. That everything should be so familiar, so as it should be, only underlined what Kate already knew: that life was about to change for the both of them.

‘Oh for God’s sake,’ Patricia snapped. ‘I’m not an invalid, Kate. The doctors said I could be walking by the end of the year, didn't they? Didn't you hear them say that?’

Kate pursed her lips. ‘They also said that there weren’t any guarantees,’ she said. ‘And that you weren’t to rush things.’

Her mother rolled her eyes and groaned. ‘Oh, honestly, how am I meant to ‘rush things’ when I’m trapped in this wretched thing?’

She slammed her hands on the sides of the wheelchair.

‘You know what I mean,’ Kate said quietly.

On the few occasions that she returned to her childhood home, Kate found herself still intimidated by her headstrong mother. Even now - frail and unsteady after the accident - she contained the ferocity that Kate had feared in her youth.

On the drive from London earlier in the month, she’d imagined a diluted duplicate of her mother in the hospital, sedated and sentimental after her brush with death.

Instead she was met with a stony expression and the rhetorical question, ‘Why must you always be later than you say?’

Her mother took another biscuit from the tin and broke it neatly in two, passing a piece to Kate.

‘You’re staying longer than I thought,’ she said. ‘Doesn’t term start on Monday?’

‘That’s what I want to talk to you about.’

Patricia frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

Kate cleared her throat. ‘I’d like to stay with you,’ she said. ‘Just until you're feeling better.’

Patricia took a sip of her tea. She’d feared that her daughter would make this proposal and the thought of surrendering her independence, even temporarily, filled her with dread. Until the road accident last month, she’d not once felt her seventy years.

She looked through the French doors beside her and saw the dozens of plump, brown apples on the lawn. She’d been pretending not to notice them; the defeat that they symbolised. She’d always used the surplus fruit that the apple tree bore; there’d not been chance for rot to set in. But things were changing now, she knew that.

‘What about school?’ she asked, careful not to sound too committal.

‘I’ve spoken to them already,’ Kate said.

‘And Brian? What about Brian?’

‘He’s happy for me to stay with you.’

Patricia raised an eyebrow and Kate sighed.

‘He’s not having an affair, Mother. He’ll come down at weekends. If that’s okay with you, of course.’

Patricia sniffed. ‘So long as he doesn’t bring that ridiculous sports car.’

‘Is that a ‘yes’ then?’

She shrugged. ‘It’s nothing permanent, though.’

‘Of course,’ Kate said, standing to clear the table.

As she reached for her mother’s cup, Patricia took her hand in her own.

‘Thank you,’ she said quietly.

A split second’s silence passed before she let go.

‘Be careful with that cup,’ she said in her usual bossy tone. ‘It’s bone China.’






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Comments by other Members



Prospero at 19:08 on 21 November 2009  Report this post
Very good, Liam. You have captured the surface emotions and the underlying sub-texts very effectively. If you didn't know you wouldn't think this had been written by a man. Well done.

Best

Prosp

Cholero at 21:53 on 21 November 2009  Report this post
Hi Liam

As she reached for her mother’s cup, Patricia took her hand in her own.

‘Thank you,’ she said quietly.

A split second’s silence passed before she let go.

‘Be careful with that cup,’ she said in her usual bossy tone. ‘It’s bone China.’
-lovely, a breath-catching moment, really nicely managed.

Good symbolism with the fallen apples, tremendous layers of communication there.

Really nicely depicted relationship, especially the touch of steeliness in the daughter inherited from we all know where.

Typo: ‘Just until feeling better.’

If I could say anything it would be cut some of the cliche's that you have near the beginnig such as radio burbling and eyes rolling, I found them a bit off-putting. Just one opinion, please ignore at will.

Instead she was met with a stony expression and the rhetorical question, ‘Why must you always be later than you say?’
-loved how much this conveyed.

Great stuff.

Pete




tusker at 08:28 on 22 November 2009  Report this post
This is good, Liam.

A subtle tale of a mother and daughter relationship. Those small moments that spoke so much.

I didn't mind the radio in the background. For me it gave a sense of place and normality also providing information of the older woman's tastes.

Also it demonstrated that her every day routine and her life will never be the same again. She is now dependent on others which is so hard for her to admit to.

Agree with the eyes rolling though.

You've painted both your characters well and I know there'll be many battles ahead for the pair of them.

Jennifer



Bunbry at 09:29 on 22 November 2009  Report this post
Hi Liam, you have a deft touch and have not let us down with this one, which is your usual high standard. Very well done.

Nick

Cholero at 09:40 on 22 November 2009  Report this post
Liam, Jennifer

I agree: the radio here is an great detail for setting mood and character. I was just objecting to the fact that it was burbling!

Best

Pete

crowspark at 11:09 on 22 November 2009  Report this post
Hi Liam

I remembered the original and like this even more.

Nice writing.

Bill

LMJT at 20:32 on 23 November 2009  Report this post
Thanks for your comments everyone. Sorry for the delay in replying.

Liam

choille at 22:48 on 23 November 2009  Report this post
Hi Liam - Sorry to miss this until now.

It's fleshed out lovely & I think is a definate improvment.

Lovely observed little bits & pieces - such as the apples - which you had before & is a great symbol of her incapacity. The bossiness returning at the end is a great touch also - the revert to type.

Yes - it's really readable. I actually prefer the daughter in this one than the first one - I found her a bit too preaching.

Lovely read.

All the best
Caroline.


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