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A Little of What She Fancied
Posted: 14 November 2009 Word Count: 150 Summary: For the rotten apple challenge.
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‘Don’t eat them,’ her mother warned. ‘They’ll give you a bad stomach.
But Wanda did. In fact she picked up a handful from the ground and consumed them all when her mother wasn't looking.
That night while she slept, a tiny pip in her stomach grew and clung on to the wall of her burbling intestines with great determination.
‘Get up!’ her mother called up the stairs the following morning. ‘You’ll be late for school. Hurry Wanda!’
When she received no reply, her mother ran up to her daughter's bedroom door, rapping hard upon it. ‘Wanda, get up now or you’ll miss your breakfast.’ Still there was no answer.
Opening the bedroom door, Wanda’s mother burst in, angry at her child's disobedience. But her anger died at the sight of snapping huge claws, and the remains of Wanda’s long dark hair that adorned a crab’s shell like a flimsy blanket.
Comments by other Members
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choille at 16:43 on 14 November 2009
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Hi Jennifer,
the remains of Wanda’s long dark that adorned a crab’s shell like a flimsy blanket. |
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Long dark...?
Now has she been at the crab apples?
It seems that you have left us a little in the dark with this.
I used to get told that if you ate pips they would stick & burst your appendix [sp?] Gave me almost nightmares to think about.
It's nicely written....so far. I think it needs a little work at the end as it all seems a bit unexplained - for me.
All the best
Caroline.
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Findy at 17:10 on 14 November 2009
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Hi Jennifer
Have the same doubt as Caroline - Long dark ? Think you missed out a word there.
Enjoyed the story
findy
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tusker at 18:51 on 14 November 2009
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Hi Caroline and Findy.
This came to me in a rush and I got it down. It's purely, as they say, tongue in cheek.
When I was a small kid, my friend said that crabs layed crab apples.
I will put in dark hair.
Don't worry, I'm away with the fairies this weekend or so my hubby says.
Jennifer
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Bunbry at 19:05 on 14 November 2009
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Hi Jennifer, this is fun! I think you need to tell us the girl is eating crab apples early on though, for maximum impact at the end.
Nick
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choille at 19:08 on 14 November 2009
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Where's flump?
Is it a town that's bustling with people out on the razzle?
Yes - hair. I sort of guessed that. Did she have a crab hatch out in her stomache? Or did she get eaten by a crab? I'm still not overly sure about what has taken place with Wanda. But she was a very greedy girl.
Caroline
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V`yonne at 22:15 on 14 November 2009
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I think witha bit of revision it would go at MH, Jennifer. We do need to be told they're crab apples but I loved that she turned into a crab
Sure, you're away with the fairies all the time! Is Chris only just noticing? ;
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tusker at 08:33 on 15 November 2009
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Hi Caroline,
It's my word to lie down on the sofa and read or watch TV, anything but moving around.
Jennifer
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tusker at 08:34 on 15 November 2009
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I'll will edit it, Oonah.
Thanks. Yes, Chris's beginning to twig on my sometimes odd behaviour.
Jennifer
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LMJT at 10:06 on 15 November 2009
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Hi Jennifer,
Ha ha! I liked this. A good vignette.
Thanks for the read,
Liam
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crowspark at 12:03 on 15 November 2009
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Lol! At one point I thought you were heading in a "Meal One" (Ivor Cutler) direction and then you quickly flipped into that brilliant image of the girl-crab. Needs to be a little longer maybe to get that twist working but definitely promising.
Bill
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tusker at 18:43 on 15 November 2009
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Glad it made you chuckle, Liam. It was a spur of the moment thing.
Jennifer
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tusker at 18:44 on 15 November 2009
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Thanks Bill, happy that I suprised you.
I'll work on it and send it of to MH.
Jennifer
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