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Untitled Chapter 1

by Doyaldinho 

Posted: 31 October 2009
Word Count: 2127
Summary: This is the opening chapter to my as of yet untitled book. My original first chapter has now been moved further along the narrative and has been re-written. I will act on any criticisms once I've finished the damn thing! ;)
Related Works: Untitled Prologue • 

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CHAPTER ONE: FLIGHT FROM CELLADOR

The grey horse flew along the West Road. Its hooves clattered onto the granite paving stones as it galloped into the night. Priya, the priestess of Gaia, encouraged her steed onwards. She had the bundle of rags lashed to the front of her saddle so she could keep an eye on her tiny passenger. He was still sleeping.

She has been riding for an hour, atrophy had began to settle in her legs; she was not used to riding! A familiar countryside flashed by her, but the usually lush greens were replaced by greys and dark blues. The terrain had been corrupted by the night, bleached of its colourful life and replaced by skeletal shapes of trees and the blackness of open fields.

Priya focused on the horizon, the Crystal Peaks, the natural border of east and west Mercia, rose high. The snow crested palisade of rock was as grand as ever at night.

She was mindful of the child and regularly took her eyes from her path to check on him.

“Who are you little one?” she asked “I wish I could sleep as well as you do!”

She glanced down at the infant again, his eyelids were twitching and he bore a half smile. He was dreaming.

“Sweet dreams child.” said Priya. “Not long now, we’re almost there.”

The shape of the priory loomed in the distance. The light emanating from the lanterns was getting closer with each passing second. The sight of her goal steeled her resolve; she gripped the reins tightly and gave the horse an encouraging kick and increased the pace.

She rode into the grounds of the priory. There were three buildings in the complex. The largest was the main chapel, which also housed the living quarters and study. There was also a small chapel for private prayer and a greenhouse. Surrounding the greenhouse were several fields of wheat, potatoes, cabbage and many other grains and vegetables.

The main chapel was constructed from the same white stone as Cellador and its red tiled roof provided a striking contrast. However this image was compromised by this late hour. The exterior of the southern wall had been assaulted by climbing ivy vines that leeched onto the stonework and crept to the very apex of the chapel turret.

Priya guided the horse to a water trough that had a tying post and modest wooden roof. She dismounted and tied the reins to the post. Priya patted the horse on his nose as he gratefully accepted the respite and refreshment.

“Thank you my friend. You have earned your fill!” she said with softness in her voice. She patted the horse one last time before unlashing the bundle of rags from the saddle and walking to the southern door. She pounded on the oak door with her free hand.

She waited for what seemed like an eternity. She pounded on the door again, there was no reply but she could hear a murmuring and rustling behind the wooden portal. The clanking and jangling of metal preceded the door creaking ajar.

An extremely tired and haggard old monk peered into through the gap with a puzzled look on his face.

“Yes? What is it my child?” This was the last thing he expected to see at this hour and from the disoriented tone of his voice, his head was still asleep.

“I’m here to see Sir Eiric.” Priya said calmly.

“Ah,” said the monk, who seemed to have gathered a few more of his senses, “He’s not here at the moment. Been delayed up north, or so I believe.”

“I have something… someone for him.”

“Eh?” the monk was back to looking puzzled again.

Priya revealed the contents of the bundle to the monk, whose jaw dropped.

“By The Three Fathers!” he gasped “Eiric was supposed to be celibate!”

“No brother, he’s not Eiric’s.” she reassured him. “I have been given instruction to deliver this child into Sir Eiric’s care.”

“Ah,” said the monk “That would make more sense I suppose. Would you like to wait inside?”

“Yes please.”

The monk opened the door and Priya walked in with the baby, who was still sleeping; his whole life so far had been an adventure and he’d missed every second!

“Please follow me child, I’ll fetch your things from you horse in a moment.” He was a small and stout fellow, with wild frizzy hair that seemed to have a life of its own. He led Priya down a stone corridor and into the study.

“Please make yourself comfortable, I’ll go and get your things.”

The rotund monk then scurried off, shutting the door behind him. Priya sat down on a bench and rested the bundle on an adjacent wooden desk. She sighed and then rubbed the inside of her thighs, the dull ache that she had when she was riding and evolved into a throbbing pain. She winced as she massaged the twinge out of her muscles.

Her eyes scanned her surroundings. The study was a plain chamber with rows of benches and desks set with ink wells, and several shelves filled with tomes and scrolls of many different sizes. With the stone floor and no rugs or carpet for insulation, her thoughts passed to these poor friars during winter. On a warm night such as this, the cool stone must be a blessing, but how cold this place must be during the cold months.

Priya smiled at the baby who was still in his slumbering. She gently ran he fingers across his soft head and through his wispy hair.

“I don’t know little one. You spend nine months in the dark waiting to come into the world, and all you do is sleep when you get here.”

She kissed his forehead and made sure the he was tucked in snugly. The door opened and the monk scampered in with Priya’s saddle bags. He placed them carefully on the floor next to her bench.

“There we are.” He gave her a toothy smile and mopped his brow with the sleeve of his smock.

“Thank you so much brother…”

“Oh my! Where are my manners?” The monk was quite flustered by his faux pas “My name is Brother Acton, at your service.” He placed his hand on his heart and bowed his head slightly.

“I’m pleased to meet you Acton, my name is Priya Canseca. Priestess of Gaia.” He hazel eyes lit up when she mentioned the name of her deity.

“I recognised the robes my lady.” said Acton. “Now then,” he paced over to the bench and peered into the bundle. “Who’s this little chap then?”

“Alas I do not know. I was asked to bring him to Sir Eiric, I think he is in great danger.” She said with a degree of concern in her voice.

“Who on earth would want to harm a gift such as him?” Acton observed the sleeping infant for a moment before turning back to Priya.

“Well then. Eiric should be back here tomorrow I’m sure of it. In the meantime we’d best get you two settled.” He paused for a moment and seemed to be having an internal conversation. He eventually came to an agreement with himself and nodded.

“Yes, that will do.” He said “I shall fetch you some blankets and pillows and I’ll make you up a cell. Don’t worry we have some quality bedding for guests.”

“Thank you so much Acton.” Said Priya

“Now no thanks is required. I’m merely doing what’s right. Now wait here just a moment and we’ll have you two settled in no time.” Acton smiled and quickly scurried back out of the study.

Priya tried in vain to fight back a yawn. This evening had tired her and she was eager to join her companion in slumber.


* * *

Priya woke early the next morning. Her bed was functional and her room was not as luxurious as she was used to, but Acton had tried his best to make her as comfortable as possible during her stay at the priory. The conditions of the monk’s quarters were a stark contrast to the decadence that the priestesses of Gaia lived in.

She quickly got ready and carried the child out of her room and downstairs into the dining hall. It was a little grander than the more Spartan rooms she had seen of the priory so far. Her attention was drawn to a huge stained-glass window, some twenty feet in height, portraying The Three Fathers grieving the death of Gaia. A large dining table dominated the floor space with enough room to seat twelve. The table was set for one.

Priya sat at the table, and made sure the baby was comfortable in his bundle before placing it on the table to her side. The infant was awake now, and eyeing the world around him with wide eyed wonderment. He still didn’t make a sound.

There was a commotion in another room, some distance from the dining hall. Loud footsteps could be heard and several excited voices were emanating around the stone corridors that enveloped the dining hall.

Acton entered the hall with a beaming grin on his face. He was followed by a man in full plate mail, his breastplate displaying a noble coat of arms; a yellow shield with a black griffon. This was the mark of the Geldren family, this was Sir Eiric. His cloak and sash bore the same colours and markings. He marched into the hall bearing the weight of his steel armour effortlessly. Priya’s heart jumped as he paced towards her, with his face guard down he was an imposing sight, over six feet of battle hardened warrior he towered over the girl.

He stopped a short distance from the priestess and lifted his face guard to reveal a middle aged man. His face had been ravaged by pox as a boy and he still bore the scars. His eyebrows were bushy and greying, and the lines on his face betrayed his years. She had heard of Sir Eiric before but had never met him, the stories and legend that surrounded his name had given her an image that the man could never live up to. She was almost disappointed.

Acton was still grinning. “Sir Eiric, allow me to present Priya Canseca, priestess of Gaia.”

Eiric took hold of Priya’s hand and dropped to his right knee. He spoke with a deep rugged voice; it was almost gravel like, honed through years of battle cries and bellowing orders.

“My lady, I am in your debt. No, Mercia is in your debt.” He smiled. “Your precious delivery has secured the future of this nation, and for that you have my gratitude.”

“I’m only doing what I believe to be best my lord.” She said softly,

Eiric rose and removed his helmet. Straggles of hair, once jet black but now invaded by silver, wisped out of his chain mail hood.

“Indeed. It is good that my friend found someone pure of heart for the task.”

Eiric sat down at the table and turned the bundle to face him, the baby gazed at him with the same wonderment that he viewed everything else!

“And this must be the little soul that’s caused all this commotion hmm?” He smiled and turned once again to Priya. “He must be kept safe. The next few years will be hellish for all of us. He must be taken far away from here; he is still too close to danger.”

Priya nodded. “I’ll take him.”

“My dear child you have risked so much already, I couldn’t possibly ask you to bear this burden any longer.”

“You don’t have to ask me my lord. I’d like to take care of him, he hasn’t got anyone. I will look after him. Besides,” she said smiling at the baby “We do get along, and I’ve grown rather fond of him.”

Eiric nodded and turned to Acton, “Send word to Cailthin in Ashill Vale, she will be receiving guests soon, and her temple will be receiving a new priestess.”

“Certainly my lord.” Acton scampered away to fulfil his duties.

Eiric rested his chin on the forefinger and thumb of his right hand. “I will escort you to Ashill Vale in the West, beyond the Crystal Peaks. It is a small fishing village, and largely anonymous. You will become the ward of the high priestess Cailthin, she will see to your needs.”

Priya nodded. “What should I tell him my lord?”

“Tell who?”

“The baby, about his family I mean? I don’t want to lie to him, but I do not know the truth.”

Eiric sighed “Well… that is an important question isn’t it?”






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Comments by other Members



Vixen at 01:13 on 03 November 2009  Report this post
I like the pace of this chapter.

So far, you have a new born baby that sleeps through the night. (I wish I'd had one of those!) I think a reader might be concerned at some of the practical difficulties of fleeing through the night. In the prologue, the knight who brought the baby to Priya said someone would meet her with a horse. You might include "and supplies for the baby" and have her pause to feed him.

Lucy_Louise at 09:05 on 18 November 2009  Report this post
Hi.
I know this comment is late but I have only just joined the group
I too liked this chapter, its pace and narrative comfortable to follow. My problem is also with the baby. It sleeps soundly through the long gallop. Just not like any baby I know and it stuck with me a bit. aside from that, good storytelling. I like this.

GaiusCoffey at 16:20 on 22 November 2009  Report this post
Hi D,
Sorry, I didn't have time to read it as only saw this on the way to something else, might try to get back to it later. However, noticed one picky that I couldn't ignore; atrophy is a bit severe for a horse ride lasting less than seven days! Wasting of muscle tissue is a long-term degeneration not a symptom of fatigue. Think there is a better word for what you want to say.
Gaius


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