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Vesuvius as seen from Sorrento
Posted: 30 October 2009
Word Count: 50
Summary: I looked, I saw, I wrote.. The most spontaneous thing I have ever written and all with in ten minutes. Looking across the bay of Naples from my hotel it really did just pop into my head and I had written it down within ten minutes. If you look at the photo on my show case you will see what I mean, the photo was taken minutes after I had written this so I could remember that inspirational moment forever!
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The blue of the sky dips sharply
to meet the ocean, a panoramic view
broken only by Vesuvius puncturing
the horizon, It rises a thousand feet
deadly in its beauty it stands for all to wonder;
proud and powerful yet unconcerned
it sleeps, daring to be woken.
2006
T Morgan.
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Comments by other Members
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 joanie at 21:47 on 30 October 2009
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I love this; it has the power of something written in the heat of the moment. The image is fantastic. There have been so many times when I should have written my thoughts.......... but I didn't. Wonderful.
However, I still think that the capitals halt the flow.
The blue of the sky dips sharply
to meet the ocean, a panoramic view
broken only by Vesuvius puncturing
the horizon. It rises a thousand feet
deadly in its beauty it stands for all to wonder;
proud and powerful yet unconcerned
it sleeps, daring to be woken. |
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Perhaps it's a pedantic whim, but it makes all the difference to me!
What do you think?
joanie
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 NicciF at 22:28 on 30 October 2009
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Hi Tony
This is great, and shows what can be done when the muse really strikes. Sometimes I think we can attempt to be overly clever, seeking the perfect word, or tweaking here and there. If not careful we can do it to such an extent that the actual moment of writing is lost, together with the reason for its existence.
This captures the moment and the picture perfect, with perhaps the exception of the capitals.
Nicci
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Tmog at 00:19 on 31 October 2009
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Yes I see what you all mean and I will correct that... I dont know why I put capitals at the begining of each line............ I will have to stop that. I seem to do it with out noticing; and feel almost apolagetic about it. Thanks for the comments I really appreciate them.
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SarahT at 02:12 on 31 October 2009
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Hi Tony,
I totally agree - a nice simple reflection on a moment and there is no need for capitals, which you seem to have ditched already!
Apart from that, I wondered about tweaking the punctuation of the mid section. You wrote:
the horizon, It rises a thousand feet
deadly in its beauty it stands for all to wonder; |
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Perhaps this should be:
the horizon. It rises a thousand feet
deadly in its beauty, it stands for all to wonder; |
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But that really is only a minor quibble.
S
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 FelixBenson at 12:39 on 31 October 2009
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Great final lines, Tony.
yet unconcerned
it sleeps, daring to be woken. |
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You really captured that for me, having looked at the same view. It is almost impossible to ignore, isn't it? A sleeping beast that really does feel it might awaken any moment!
This took me back...
Thanks for posting,
Kirsty
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Joella at 15:25 on 31 October 2009
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Hi Tony, I normally spend a good deal of time writing about that which forms on an inward eye. I'm impressed that you found such spontaneous inspiration to write this piece. I know this view from long ago and for me, the last three lines evoke pending catastrophe, whilst capturing the majesty of the mountain. I really like this. Regards, Joella.
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NicciF at 18:39 on 31 October 2009
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Hi Tony
| I dont know why I put capitals at the begining of each line............ I will have to stop that. I seem to do it with out noticing |
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At times like this I tend to blame MS Word that kindly puts the capitals in for me. No comments about a poor workman blaming their tools.
Nicci
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