The Teddy Scare
Posted: 26 October 2009
Word Count: 852
Summary: Hello. This is my first attempt at writing a childrens story. I am also a illustrator and would love to create a childrens picture book. The Teddy Scare is very much a work in progress and I would very much appreciate any help or advice you can offer. Thank you.
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The Teddy Scare
Once there was a little girl called Aimee Louise who had a scruffy old bear, with long floppy arms, and a big cuddly belly called Patchy, who she loved very much. Patchy was really rather tatty because Aimee was forever taking him on amazing adventures. Climbing trees, exploring the garden, and digging holes to find lost dinosaur bones, were just some of the wonderful fun things Aimee and Patchy liked to do, but often the pair would end getting up covered in mud when doing so. Aimee called him Patchy because she had had him forever; though he was so old her Mommy always had to stitch him back together.
One day Aimee was in her bedroom playing with Patchy and she was teaching him how to dance. She swung him around and around and jumped up and down. Well she swung him so hard that poor old Patch’s long floppy old arm came flying off, sending his fine white fluff flying everywhere. Poor bear, thought Aimee, and so she gave him a lovely big cuddle to make him feel better. Suddenly Aimee’s Mommy shouted that it was time for lunch so she put him back at the top of her bed and kissed his poorly better before she skipped off to eat her sandwiches.
When Aimee had finished eating all of her lunch, she raced back to her bedroom quickly to check on her bestest friend, but when she got there she had a terrible shock, for PATCHY WAS GONE! All that was left was a lonely bit of white fluff.
Aimee searched all over her bedroom for her tatty old bear. She looked under her bed, behind the big drawers, and inside her giant toy box, but Patchy was nowhere to be found. Now Aimee had a baby brother called Zac, who she liked to call Ziggy, and she went into his room to see if he had taken Patchy. Of course Ziggy couldn’t walk, in fact there wasn’t a lot he could do, other than cry, eat and make stinky poo poo’s, but sometimes she thought that when everyone was asleep, he was a super baby, flying around the house and playing with all of her toys. However, Patchy was nowhere to be seen, and Ziggy too was very upset, crying in fact. Why? Because Ziggy also has a teddy who he loves very much, a little brown bear who Aimee calls Chomp, because Ziggy is always chewing and dwibbling all over him.
Aimee gave Ziggy a big cuddle and promised she would find his bear. Oh where had Patchy and Chomp gone? Aimee really didn’t know.
Perhaps they had gone for a walk together. Aimee knew that her toys came alive when she wasn’t around, and perhaps the silly bears had not gotten back in time. Suddenly however Aimee noticed a trail of white fluff next to her bed and realised that it must have come out of Patchy. Aimee followed the pieces of fluff out of her room, along the landing, down the stairs and OH NO! The trail led to the scary black door under the stairs, and inside Aimee could hear a terrible grumble!
So there is a monster from under the stairs,’ thought Aimee ‘and he must have taken my teddy bear!’
Was Aimee scared? No she was not! She was mad, she was really really cross! Patchy, poor bear, no it is the naughty monster who needs to beware.
‘No monster is going to take my teddy and get away with it’ said Aimee.
Aimee decided she was going to teach that horrible monster a lesson and she had the most brilliant plan. Aimee snuck into the washing room and found her Daddy’s sock drawer, the box of doom. Aimee’s Daddy has the stinkiest, smelliest, old socks in the whole wide world, but Aimee managed to hold her nose and take as many as she could carry. She raced back to her room and there she made a surprise for the monster.
If a monster is going to eat my teddy’s, thought Aimee, let’s see how he likes this, and at the end of her bed she put the whiffiest, smelliest, pongy teddy there have ever been. Aimee had turned her Daddy’s terrible socks into a teddy bear.
That night Aimee and Ziggy waited in Aimee’s big pink bed to see the monster get his just deserves. They waited, and they waited, and waited until, oh no, they both fell asleep. However, when Aimee and her baby brother woke up, the stinky sock teddy was gone, but back in its place was Patchy, whose arm was sown back on, and Chomp, who was now fluffy and clean.
Horray, Aimee shouted, my teddy’s are back, I am so very happy and so is Zac.
(Note: The illustrations would show that it was Aimee and Ziggys mother who took and cleaned/fixed her teddy bears. While Aimee is imagining a horrible monster has taken her toys, in the background you will subtly see it is Mom who have taken them to repair/wash )
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Comments by other Members
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 The Bar Stward at 14:39 on 27 October 2009
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This is very much a work in progress and isn't my normal type of adult writing at all. I wanted to create something gentle, and something I could have good fun drawing pictures for. I imagine the character Aimee to be imaginaing a lot of different things, which would be illustrated.
Originally I wrote this from the characters POV, but I didn't think that worked well at all, so I changed it to what you can read above. Here is the original verison:
The Teddy Scare
Hello, my name is Aimee and this is Ziggy, my baby brother.
Why are we hiding under my bed?
What are we scared of?
HA, we’re not scared of anything! We’re supa brave, in fact we’re waiting to save the whole wide world from the most dangerous, horrible baddy there’s ever been! A big ‘orrible monster that eats little boys and girls...TEDDY BEARS! He’s only gone and gobbled up my most favourite cuddly toys.
How do I know there’s a teddy eating monster?
Well on Monday I was playing with Patchy all day, a scruffy old bear I’ve had forever, even though my Mommy keeps having to stitch him back together. I was teaching him how to dance, and I was swinging him around and around and jumping up and down, when poor old Patch’s tatty arm fell off. Poor bear, so when it was bedtime I put him back at the end of my bed, kissed his poorly better and then went to sleep, but when I woke up, he was gone, vanished. My Patchy had been took and all that was left was a lonely bit of white fluff.
I searched all over my room for my tatty old bear. I looked under my bed, behind the big drawers, and inside my giant toy box, but he was nowhere to be found. I went into Ziggys nursery to see if he had taken Patchy, but no, Ziggy was happy chewing and dwibbling on his only little teddy, Chomp.
Oh where did Patchy go? I really didn’t know.
So on Tuesday I went to the park and I took Dosy Rosie, my beautiful white girly bear, who has pink heart cheeks and fine soft hair. Well even though I was sad about Patchy, I still had a great day out with Dosy Rosie. It rained and it poured and the mud got everywhere, but we had loads of fun on the slides and swings. When we got home Dosy Rosies wasn’t so white and clean anymore. She was covered in sticky brown mud, but I didn’t care. I put her back at the end of my bed, kissed her goodnight and went off to sleep, but when I woke up, the horror, my Dosy Rosie was gone too! What was happening?
Again I looked everywhere but my girly, heart cheeked bear wasn’t anywhere. I went into Ziggy’s nursery to see if he had taken my bear, but no, Ziggy was still happy chewing and dwibbling on Chomp, his own tiny, little furry teddy bear.
Oh where did Dosy Rosie go? I really did not know!
On Wednesday I played with Chubba, who is big, brown and round. He is my cuddliest, softest, biggest, teddy bear and I just love to give him big cuddles and bounce on his belly. I bounced on him higher and higher, until suddenly his belly went pop and out came him stuffing as fast as a shot. Poor bear. I put him at the end of my bed, kissed him goodnight and went off to sleep, but when I woke up, oh no, Chubba had gone too! But this time there was a clue, in fact quite a few.
At the end of my bed, where Chubba had been, was a little piece of white fluff. I looked along the floor and I saw another piece of white fluff. I went outside of my room and I saw another piece of white fluff, and there was two more pieces leading down the steps, right up to the scary black door under the stairs. Just then, from inside, I heard a terrible rumble and I ran away quick.
So there is a monster from under the stairs, and he must be eating my teddy bears!
Was I scared? I was not! I was mad. Really really cross. Patchy, Dosy Rosie and Chubba, poor bears, no it is the naughty monster who needs to beware.
I went to tell Ziggy what I had discovered and what I planned to do, but found my poor baby brother crying very loud, his Chomp was gone too.
Right, I said, we’re gonna teach this orrible monster a lesson. No one eats our teddy bears and gets away with it. I had the most brilliant plan. We snuck into the washing room and found my Daddys sock drawer, the box of doom. Our Daddy has the stinkiest, smelliest, old socks in the whole wide world and so we took as many as our noses could handle and made a trick teddy bear! Let’s see how the monster likes this one for dinner, ha ha ha.
So here we are now, hiding under the bed, waiting for the monster to come eat our whiffy sock ted. He won’t be eating our, or anyone else’s toys after this.
And we waited, and waited, and waited and waited until, oh no, we both fell to sleep. When I woke up the sock ted was gone, I was so upset, my tick had gone wrong. But when I climbed out from under my bed, I was so happy because there, at the bottom of my bed was Patchy, Dosy Rosie and Chubba.
Patchy had his arm sown back on. Dosy Rosie was beautiful and white once more and Chubba was big and round again. Ziggy crawled back to his crib, and he did clap, because Chop, his favourite chewy bear was also now back. Horray we had won, the orrible little monster have returned our bears and he’s now gone on the run.
(Note: The illustrations would show that it was Aimee and Ziggys mother who took and cleaned/fixed her teddy bears)
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 Freebird at 12:42 on 28 October 2009
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Hi there,
firstly, you've made a great start with this. This is a story that every little girl will identify with, and I can picture it clearly.
The idea of a teddy-grabbing monster is a great one, and I think this is the bit you need to focus on in order to make it different from the thousands of lost-teddy picture books out there. And scaring it off with Daddy's socks... what a master stroke! (Wives and children everywhere shouting, "Yes, it's true!". You could have a bit of fun illustrating the kind of monsters Aimee might be imagining, which will make the contrast all the greater when the reader realises it's actually Mum.
The length of a picture book should generally be under 100O words (my editor recently suggested to me that 700 words it about bang on), so you will need to edit this quite a bit. If I were you, I'd read through it aloud and see where you have repeated yourself or used perhaps two adjectives when you could choose one that would pack more punch.
The beginning is lovely, setting the scene and introducing the teddies. I think you could perhaps get to the monster idea a bit sooner, because this is the crux of the story.
I think it works better in the third person (the original version) and you could do without the last line.
What a cracking idea - wish I'd thought of it!
freebird
<Added>
sorry, I meant the second version was better
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The Bar Stward at 17:06 on 28 October 2009
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Thanks freebird.
Yes it does need an edit, perhaps I could make it that Aimee has two bears, instead of three, this will cut the story down somewhat, and I don't think it would lose too much. I think it would be Dosy Rosie who would have to go though, as it is Chubba's stuffing that leads her to the conclusion a monster is about
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The Bar Stward at 17:27 on 28 October 2009
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| So I guess the horrible, teddy eating monster must have learnt his lesson. Don’t mess with little kids toys, or they will get you back! |
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cut that you mean
<Added>
| You could have a bit of fun illustrating the kind of monsters Aimee might be imagining, which will make the contrast all the greater when the reader realises it's actually Mum. |
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Yes, I plan to have the illustrations telling as much as the story as the text, so a lot of pictures showing Aimee's imagination and the reality (subtle pictures of Mom in the background. E.G, when Aimee is imaging the monster, in the background we would see Mom with washing basket with bear in it)
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The Bar Stward at 18:16 on 28 October 2009
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Hello Freebird. I've made some big changes to the story to make it more concise. For everyone else, here is how the story was before the change (Verison 2, the main piece above is verison 3):
The Teddy Scare
Once there was a little girl called Aimee Louise who had three wonderful teddy bears. One was had long floppy arms and was really rather scruffy. Aimee him called Patchy because she had had him forever, though he was so old her Mommy was always having to stitch him back together. Dosy Rosie was Aimee’s second bear, who was beautiful and white and had really soft fine hair. Her head was so big it kept nodding forward like she was falling asleep. And last of all was Chubba, who was big brown and round. He was the largest, most cuddliest of all Aimee’s teddys, though she loved them all the same, which was an awful lot.
One day Aimee was in her bedroom playing with Patchy and she was teaching him how to dance. She swung him around and around and jumped up and down. Well poor old Patch’s long floppy old arm came flying off. Poor bear, thought Aimee, who gave the old scruffy toy a cuddle to make him feel better. Suddenly Aimee’s Mommy shouted that it was time for lunch so Aimee put Patchy back at the end of her bed with Dosy Rosie and Chubba, and kissed his poorly well and skipped off to eat her cheese sandwiches.
When Aimee had finished eating all of her lunch, she went back to her bedroom but she had a terrible shock, for when she looked at the end of her bed, PATCHY WAS GONE! All that was left was a lonely bit of white fluff.
Aimee searched all over her bedroom for her tatty old bear. She looked under her bed, behind the big drawers, and inside her giant toy box, but Patchy was nowhere to be found. Now Aimee had a baby brother called Zac, who she liked to call Ziggy, and she went into his room to see if he had taken her teddy bear. Of course Ziggy couldn’t walk, in fact there wasn’t a lot he could do, other than cry, eat and make stinky poo poo’s, but sometimes she thought that when everyone was asleep, he was a super baby, flying around the house and playing with all of her toys. However, Patchy was nowhere to be seen, and Ziggy was busy happily chewing and dwibbling on Chomp, his own tiny, little furry teddy bear.
Oh where had Patchy gone? Aimee really didn’t know.
Perhaps he had gone for a walk. Aimee knew that her toys came alive when she wasn’t around, and perhaps her silly old bear had not gotten back to her bed in time. So Aimee grabbed hold of Dosy Rosie and the pair of them went to look around the house. Patchy wasn’t in the living room, nor Dads office too, and he wasn’t in Kitchen and neither was he in the loo. However there was one place that Aimee didn’t look, the scary black door under the stairs, where the big loud rumbles she could hear from inside always made her scared. Patchy wouldn’t go in there, Aimee thought, and so she and Dosy Rosie went to have a look in the garden.
It was raining really badly outside, the big black clouds were having a good cry. Now this didn’t put Aimee off, of course not, if Patchy was locked out in the rain, then she and Dosy Rosie had to rescue him. The pair of them went outside and they searched inside Daddys dusty old shed, behind the big wet bushes and all over the garden, but poor Patchy was nowhere to be found. Aimee looked really sad but so did Dosy Rosie too, not only was she missing her friend but she was soaking wet and her snowy white hair was covered in horrible black mud. Poor bear, thought Aimee, and she tool Dosy Rosie back inside the house.
Aimee dried Dosy Rosie as much as she could, but her beautiful white bear was still stained with black mud. She brought her back to bed, to give her a rest, and even though she was quite dirty, Aimee still thought she was the best.
Aimee then took Chubba to help her continue to look but they still couldn’t find Patchy anywhere. Aimee felt so sad that she gave Chubba the biggest cuddle she ever had, until suddenly his belly went pop, and out came his stuffing as fast as a shot. Poor bear, what a bad day. Aimee took him back to bed and put him next to Dosy Rosie, who still looked pretty miffed about being so dirty. Suddenly Aimee’s Mommy shouted ‘Dinner is ready’, so off she ran to have her bangers and mash, but not before kissing goodbye to her beloved teddy’s.
When Aimee came back, she was in for a shock, Dosy Rosie and Chubba had gone from her bed. Now what has happened to two more of her teds? Once more Aimee looked everywhere but they were nowhere to be seen. She went to see Ziggy, but her poor little brother was crying quite loud, his small little bear chomp had gone as well.
What was going on? Where have all the bears gone? Aimee really didn’t know...
Until, Aimee noticed a trail of white fluff, that must have come out of Chubba. Aimee followed the pieces of fluff out of her room, along the landing, down the stairs and OH NO! The trail led to the scary black door under the stairs, and inside Aimee could hear a terrible grumble!
So there is a monster from under the stairs,’ thought Aimee ‘and he must be eating my teddy bears!’
Was Aimee scared? No she was not! She was was mad, she was really really cross. Patchy, Dosy Rosie and Chubba, poor bears, no it is the naughty monster who needs to beware.
‘No monster is going to eat my teddys and get away with it’ said Aimee.
Aimee decided she was going to teach that horrible monster a lesson and she had the most brilliant plan. Aimee snuck into the washing room and found her Daddy’s sock drawer, the box of doom. Aimee’s Daddy has the stinkiest, smelliest, old socks in the whole wide world, but Aimee managed to hold her nose and take as many as she could carry. She raced back to her room and there she made a surprise for the monster.
If a monster is going to eat my teddy’s, thought Aimee, let’s see how he likes this, and at the end of her bed she put the whiffiest, smelliest, pongy teddy there have ever been. Aimee had turned her Daddys terrible socks into a teddy bear.
That night Aimee and Ziggy waited in Aimee’s big pink bed to see the monster get his just deserves. They waited, and they waited, and waited until, oh no, they both fell asleep. However, when Aimee and her baby brother woke up, the stinky sock teddy was gone, and back in there place was Patchy, whose arm was sown back on, Dosy Rosie who was pretty and white once more, and Chubba, whose belly was as big and as round as before.
Horray, Aimee shouted, my teddys are back! And back Chomp, the little bear was back with baby Zac.
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 Issy at 18:30 on 28 October 2009
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Hi Scott,
Yes, this has the makings of a delightful picture book for2 - 3 year olds I would have thought.
I am wondering if it will go to a standard 32 page pic book -that's 12 double spreads and a single at the end if you need it. Story itself might be too big for the next one down, which is the 16 pager.
Words need to be cut to 400 or 500, but there will be no problem with that as the illustrations will integrate and show some of the things described - such as what the bears looked like
I'll give it some thought- may be a day or two before it'll gell in my very slow brain! I haven't actually had a pic book accepted - and it's a huge advantage if you can do you own illustrations - but over the years I've had the benefit of a lot of training pretty much drummed into me on picture book content and structure from writers such as Vivian French, Andrew Melrose (who treats it as variation on a film script) Judy Waite, Henrietta Branford, so may well be able to say something that perhaps could be useful.
Anyway, will muse. Main guidelines are writing in the present or very immediate past for this age group, having some "wow!" moments along the way, having each page set up as a page turner for the next either using text or illustrations to lead the reader onwards, big story told "small". But it's all there in your story, just needs sorting out a bit.
A heartwarming story, and I am not at all surprised that Aimee loves it.
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 NMott at 18:31 on 28 October 2009
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Hi Scott. I copied the quote, below, from your other post, because I thought it would be better placed here:
| but I think the premise might show promise. |
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If you are thinking of submitting it to childrens agents I have to be honest and say there are so many 'lost/tatty teddy' and 'scary monster in the cupboard' stories in agents slush piles that the bar is set pretty high. Also, as a picture book, it would need to be about half the current word count.
Saying that, I liked the part with daddy's smelly socks, and the stuffing leading to the scary grumbling cupboard door, and think if you developed that further it would appeal to boys.
On a general note, Agents are looking for stories that have a proper beginning, middle and end, with a strong plotline and good characterisation - even when they are only a few hundred words long - so beware of having too long a preamble at the start of the story.
- NaomiM
<Added>
Oops, when I commented about length, I was reading the longer version.
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Issy at 18:43 on 28 October 2009
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Still thinking Scott.I'm wondering if a lift the flap or popup art would appeal to you at all? If not, not to worry, I was just thinking round the potential "Wow!"moments - to delight, surprise, take the breath away, or heartwarming type pages.
What style are you intending to illustrate in - colourful, cartoon, beautiful art-type, or something else? Is there any of your work on the internet anywhere?
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SJ Williamson at 19:20 on 28 October 2009
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Hi Scott!
I'm really inexperienced at the children thing, so please forgive me if I talk rubbish! This is a very sweet plot with some lovely ideas. It will be made all the more special by, what I know will be, your beautiful illustrations. However, I take Naomi’s point about the “market”, too.
There were a few little grammatical glitches, but I really thought this was charming, and could hear you telling your daughter.
eat and make stinky poo poo’s,
chewing and dwibbling on Chomp, |
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- feel free to ignore this, as it's from an adults point of view and not your target audience, who may find these funny, but I didn't go a bundle on the poo, or the "dwibbling". I think the changes in pronunciation of words are fine if your characters use "dwibble" in their dialogue, but when it's coming from the author, I'm not all that keen. Not sure why, so please do ignore me, Scott!
I really rather liked it from Aimee's voice.
I think that Aimee would be a lot more upset about losing Patchy. Could you have something saying perhaps that she was very brave and didn't cry or, that she was so upset that she just had to find him? Something more about her feelings ... I think she would have been beside herself.
| subtle pictures of Mom in the background. E.G, when Aimee is imaging the monster, in the background we would see Mom with washing basket with bear in it |
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- lovely, and I can visualise this too.
If you would like to see how the story goes down within your target audience, my cousin has a 2 year old daughter and she would gladly report back if you need opinions from more small people!
SJxx
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Pat M at 22:33 on 28 October 2009
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Hi Scott.
My experience with picture books is mainly with the ones in the library where I worked for many years, until just recently. There are a lot of teddy books, but they are all much loved and this is a bit different, so I think would go down very well.
I love the idea of the bears disappearing and I assume that the 'roaring monster' was the washing machine. I think this story is maybe just beyond the lift-flap, touchy, feely type, more of a very early-reader book, with lots of big colourful pictures. You're so lucky to be able to do that aswell!
I prefer the version that starts | Once there was a little girl called Aimee Louise who had a scruffy old bear |
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I personally don't like the mis-pronunciation of words even for very young children.
and are great when you're telling the story to your own children, but I know both my daughters-in-law would tell me off for 'baby-talking' my grandchildren! It's almost like a secret language between you and your children, but not for in a book (I don't think).
It needs some grammar edit and a bit of tidying up, maybe even shortening, so it's more 'to the point', but it's a lovely idea. Good luck with it.
Pat
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NMott at 11:39 on 29 October 2009
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I like the boy standing next to his spaceship 
tbh Publishers prefer to use in-house illustrators for their picture books unless the writer-illustrator has a very individual/quirky style.
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NicciF at 12:08 on 29 October 2009
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Hi Scott
I don't have children of my own, however, I can imagine readingi this to my godchildren when they were young.
I liked it too, and though that is shows lots of promise, particularly as you will be able to illustrate the book yourself.
In addition to the comments already made, there are also a couple of words you should consider losing.
[quote]Now Aimee had a baby brother called Zac, [/quote]
Is the "now" necessary?
There are a few "suddenly"s
[quote]Suddenly Aimee’s Mommy shouted that it was time for lunch [/quote]
[quote]However, Patchy was nowhere to be seen, [\quote]
However? Might be too old - I hate the word "but", however it might be better here.
Same with:
[quote] However, when Aimee and her baby brother woke up [\quote]
[quote]However, when Aimee and her baby brother woke up, [/quote]
Bingo - the 2 together!
[quote]Suddenly however Aimee noticed a trail of white fluff [/quote]
These are such little quibbles and will only take a moment to put right. Other than that the idea is great, I love the smelly socks bit, it just needs a little editing.
Nicci.
PS Love the donkeys in the spaceship!
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The Bar Stward at 13:34 on 29 October 2009
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I've done the ink work for the cover design, I just need to colour it and create a title. When I've done it (probably over the weekend) I'll put it on here for you all to see.
I've done another rewrite. I've kept it a bit more simple and gave the story more scope for interesting illustrations. If by chance it ever did see publication, I am imagining a 32 page book, with double spread pages. Each paragraph below would either feature on one page, or run along the two. Let me know if you thing it is worth persuing, and be honest, I really don't mind, better than wasting my time.
THE TEDDY SCARE
Version 4
Once there was a little girl called Aimee, who had a scruffy old bear whom she loved very much. His name was Patch and he had been with her forever, but he was quite old so Mommy always had to stitch him back together.
Together Aimee and Patch would have the most wonderful adventures every day; their imagination could turn even the most normal thing into something fantastic. Of course that is why it is so brilliant being a little person.
To an adult the washing room is just a place full of dirty washing, but to Aimee and Patch it was a humongous mountain to be conquered.
And to an adult a cardboard box is just something the new television came in, but to Aimee and Patch is was an interstellar spaceship, to take incredible journeys through our Solar System, to visit all of the planets, and to visit the people who lived there.
To an adult the garden is just some grass that needs cutting, but to Aimee and Patch it was a magnificent jungle waiting to be explored, full of strange creatures that only she and her tatty old bear knew about.
(In the last picture you see Patch getting muddy and a bit torn)
One afternoon, when Aimee had just eaten all of her dinner, she raced to her bedroom to get Patch to join her on a new adventure, but to her shock and horror he wasn’t on the bed where she had left him, in fact he was nowhere to be found at all!
Had Patch gone exploring without her? No he wouldn’t do that, she thought, it is just not fun without each other. Then Aimee noticed a piece of white fluff on the floor, and then another, and another. There was a trail which wasn’t there before, and so she followed the pieces of fluff out of her room, along the landing, down the stairs and OH NO! The trail led to the scary black door under the stairs, and inside Aimee could hear a terrible grumble!
There is a monster under the stairs,’ thought Aimee ‘and he must have taken my teddy bear!’
Was Aimee scared? Yes she certainly was and she almost ran off, but then she remembered poor Patch. Would he leave her, no he would not!
Aimee decided she was going to rescue her friend and teach that horrible monster a lesson while doing so, and she had the most brilliant plan.
Aimee snuck into the washing room and found her Daddy’s pile of foul socks. They were the most terrible, smelliest, old socks in the whole wide world, but Aimee needed them for her super idea and so managed to hold her nose and take as many as she could carry. She raced back to her room and there she made a surprise for the monster.
If a monster is going to be stealing my teddy’s, thought Aimee, let’s see how he likes this, and at the end of her bed she put the whiffiest, smelliest, pongy teddy there have ever been. Aimee had turned her Daddy’s dreadful socks into a teddy bear.
That night Aimee waiting in her bed for the monster to come and pinch her trick teddy and when he did, the terrible smell would make him faint and then she could go and rescue poor Patch.
Aimee waited, and they waited, and waited until, oh no, she fell asleep. However, when Aimee woke up, the stinky sock teddy was gone, but back in its place was Patch. He looked very clean and he was nicely stitched back together.
Horray, Aimee shouted, my teddy is back. Obviously the monster didn’t like Aimee’s stinky surprise at all and didn’t want any more.
(Note: The illustrations would show that it was Aimee and Ziggys mother who took and cleaned/fixed her teddy bears. While Aimee is imagining a horrible monster has taken her toys, in the background you will subtly see it is Mom who have taken them to repair/wash )
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NMott at 17:46 on 29 October 2009
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Hi, Scott, can you post this latest version in a new upload - It's getting confusing having so many versions under the original one. You can always link the original upload to the new one if anyone wants to check it out in the Archive.
Cheers,
NaomiM
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