Glass Art Marble
Posted: 19 October 2009
Word Count: 188
Summary: Week 63 challenge....Read it first and then, if you like, this link is to a site that shows some examples of these fantastic works....
http://www.marbleartists.org/
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They create their art, the shape is a sphere,
we think we know, but, it’s not really clear,
how they got all that art way down in there.
Glass is cool and smooth as it rolls on the palm.
The perfect shape, get lost in the calm.
To sooth the stress, a spherical balm.
We look down inside and therein we tumble.
Is that a bee? Did I just hear it bumble?
Look at that wave crash and rumble!
Deep space and stars, flowers and more,
orchids, jellyfish and colors galore,
shapes and designs never imagined before.
Stripes and dots with sweeping swirls,
clouds of ethereal ghostly twirls.
Look down inside the bottomless whirls.
The stripes and sparkles and oh, so much more…
It’s slipped from my grasp and heads for the floor!
My hands fly to catch it, juggling one sphere like four!
Gravity’s call was faster than me.
I thought I had it and on to one knee
I ended, one last outstretched grasp only to see
Bounce……bounce…..bounce……
They create their art, the shape is a sphere,
Unfortunately, I know exactly how that mark got there.
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Comments by other Members
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 V`yonne at 17:23 on 20 October 2009
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Oh to spoil such perfection!  I loved some of this - I'm just not a great fan of rhyme but I thought the first 5 worked well. I think after that you could increase the chaos to march the damage.
stripes and sparkles and so much more…
slip from my grasp, head for the floor!
My hands fly to catch, juggling one sphere like four!
Gravity’s call - faster than me.
I thought I had it
one last outstretched grasp only to see
Bounce……bounce…..bounce……
They create their art, the shape is a sphere,
Only I know exactly how that mark got there. |
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<Added>
adds momentum?
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 joanie at 18:28 on 20 October 2009
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Hi Mike. I thought there were some gorgeous images here, and whilst I love rhyme in the right place, I thought that sometimes the rhyme semed a bit forced and detracted from the subject.
Especially We look down inside and therein we tumble.
Is that a bee? Did I just hear it bumble?
Look at that wave crash and rumble! |
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I really liked Stripes and dots with sweeping swirls,
clouds of ethereal ghostly twirls.
Look down inside the bottomless whirls |
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As I said, beautiful descriptions!
A great response to the challenge..... and a good surprise at the end - makes for a lot of holding of breath! Thanks for having a go!
joanie
<Added>
The photos on the link are just beautiful!
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 M. Close at 19:22 on 20 October 2009
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Thanks, both of you for you comments. I am new and i never really paid attention in the poetry unit of english class, hehehe, so I am learning anew about the forms and cadence of poetry. I have learned a lot reading the work on here and have seen some rhymes and some with no rhymes and some with what looks like accidental rhymes.
Being a big fan of Dr. Seuss, I guess I like rhymes and rhyming 
But I don't know when or where or how to determine if the rhyme is appropriate or if I should just express the thoughts using whatever words work....
Well, I'll keep at it....learning and growing....Enjoyed the challenge! Looking forward to the next....
Thanks again,
Mike
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V`yonne at 21:22 on 20 October 2009
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| what looks like accidental rhymes. |
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Got it in one! They aren't accidental...
If you use rhyme in a poem representing pattern - as here - it is appropriate which is why the damage at the end is better expressed non-rhyme. Rhyme can also ruin the serious nature of a poem - appear frivolous or ruin the rhythm or drive the meaning. That is never good. Internal rhyme and assonance are more subtle and can lend emphasis to a thought. But it's a big subject!
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 FelixBenson at 00:46 on 21 October 2009
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Hi Mike
I enjoyed reading this - but yes it hs raised the knotty question of rhyme! I think it depends what you want to write - and if you want to write humourous light poetry with lots of rhyme, then you are definately on the right track. You have achieved that with this poem -it is vigourous and lively and tells a funny story... However, if you want to aim for something more serious..that's a different matter. Then rhyme is a bit of a vexed question, and one that generates a lot of differing opinions!
It seems that you intended to write an entertaining -almost slapstick- verse with this poem - so the question of why you chose this style doesn't come up for me, but I suppose if you were thinking in other poems about when to rhyme, or not to rhyme- my take on it is that if the line is only there to give you a neat end rhyme with the previous one, but doesn't say anything meaningful in itself... then cut it, and just keep the lines that reach for what you are trying to say - which is what I understand from Oonah, when she says rhyme can
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But poetry and form are very tricky! It is all a bit of a mysterious art I think - what does make poets choose a particular form..? Who knows? How do they know the poem should be a sonnet or a villanelle or a ballad? There might be some poems that seem to demand a certain form from their subject matter - but there are loads that don't.
Anyway - I fear rambled on because I am thinking aloud, and perhaps because it is late...I expect I could have said all this much more concisely!
Anyway - all in all - a funny verse with a eye for detail and rhythm. I could see you juggling those glass spheres!
Cheers, Kirsty
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M. Close at 05:47 on 21 October 2009
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Thanks for the additional explanations. I think it helps a lot. I did want this to ne light and humorous, but wasn't sure if it was good form to start with rhyme and cadence and finish in non rhyme. So OK! I guess it's rally all up to the poet how it starts, how it ends and what goes on in the middle!!
Thanks Kirsty for the expanded, 'thinking out loud' explanation. Helps a lot.
Mike
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Nella at 18:36 on 21 October 2009
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Hi Mark, I enjoyed this - and there was something Suessian about it. The others have already made a lot of comments. I can only agree too much with Kirsty when she says:
| But poetry and form are very tricky! It is all a bit of a mysterious art |
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I'm still very much struggling with the mysteries of the art of poetry and sometimes feel very much in the dark about it all.
BTW: I LOVE Dr. Suess! I use Green Eggs and Ham in my teaching-English-as-a-second-language classes
Robin
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Findy at 13:57 on 26 October 2009
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Hi Mike
Lovely descriptions, hope the scratch does not mar its beauty in anyway.
Well deserved win
Looking forward to your challenge.
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