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Yes Mistress

by M. Close 

Posted: 14 October 2009
Word Count: 100
Summary: For the week 62 Challenge


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Still dark, still and dark.
Warm and toasty in the sheets
on this chill autumn morn.

Welcome aroma of coffee.
Looking back from the mirror,
one older than he should be,
younger than he feels.

The day calls with her demands.
Careful plans go unfinished
as the day has her way.

Rushing here and there,
no time to waste!
Answer the phone, again.
The day sets a grueling pace.

The road home comes too soon,
too many things left undone.
Layout tomorrow’s plan.

Tomorrow peeks over your shoulder
and chuckles to herself.
She has other plans for you.
Silly man.








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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 12:49 on 14 October 2009  Report this post
Careful plans go unfinished

struck me you could rhyme if you wanted here:
Careful plans go awry


I like the structure although this goes against the frenetic pace you describe... but perhaps that is your way of trying to stamp order on chaos - I sound like the Borg Queen! It works for that.

I particualrly liked stanza two. Very nicely put!

Findy at 13:21 on 14 October 2009  Report this post
Enjoyed the poem Mike, really liked the last two stanzas.

The road home comes too soon,
too many things left undone.


Lovely



Nella at 20:30 on 14 October 2009  Report this post
I like this, Mike. It's a good take on the challenge.

In these two lines, I think I might be inclined to drop the article "the" before day:
as the day has her way.
The day sets a grueling pace.


one older then he should be,
younger then he feels.
Shouldn't this be "than" and not "then"?

Best,
Robin

FelixBenson at 10:29 on 15 October 2009  Report this post
Good one Mike, I enjoyed reading this.

Kirsty

joanie at 12:17 on 15 October 2009  Report this post
Good response, Mike! I enjoyed the read and the images you created. Interesting that the personification of the things which cause the stress - 'the day' and 'tomorrow' - are feminine!

I know the sentiments axactly.

joanie

<Added>

exactly


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