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Dying For A Takeaway

by tusker 

Posted: 24 September 2009
Word Count: 450
Summary: For the Chinese meal and raining flash


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‘I’m dying for a Chow Mien,’ the pimply youth said to his chubby mate.

‘Could do with a pizza,’ came the chubby one’s reply. ‘Got any money?’ The pimply youth shook his head.

Dejected and hungry, they both stood under the railway bridge sheltering from the rain. Darkness seemed to envelope them as both wore dark clothing with hoods pulled up over their heads. Alert, they heard the steady clip of heels approach. Both leant back against dripping concrete.

A girl walked by, her face lit up from the screen of her mobile. ‘There’s my Chow Mien ticket,’ the pimply youth whispered.

‘There goes my Margarita,’ the other whispered back.

Oblivious to her watchers, she continued to make her way under the bridge to the canal. On silent feet the boys followed at a discreet distance. When the girl reached the tow path, she stopped and looked around. Both lads melted behind a thorny shrub until she continued her progress along the canal path.

‘Go!’ The pimply lad hissed to his pal. The two sprinted towards their victim. Spinning around at the last moment, the girl let out a scream. ‘Shut it!’ The pimply youth felled her to the ground. ‘Give us your mobile. Your bag.’ He held a Stanley knife to her throat.

Weeping the girl did as she was told. ‘Someone’s coming!!’ the chubbier youth warned his mate. They both ran off, laughing.

Within a few short minutes, the lads reached the busy main road. As they ran, they went through their victim’s bag and found three ten pound notes attached to a birthday card. ‘Happy Eighteenth Birthday, Emma,’ it read. ‘with lots of love and kisses, from your Nan.’

‘Thanks Nan,’ the pimply lad giggled, pocketing the cash and tossing the card down into the gutter.

Across the road, the chubby lad spotted Mr Wong’s Chinese Takeaway. ‘You can have your Chow Mien first,’ he told his pal. ‘I’ll get my Margarita at Pizza Palace.’

Heavy traffic streamed past them. The pimply lad looked left and right and spotted the girl in the near distance. ‘Bloody Hell,’ he muttered. ‘Has that bitch got a death wish?’

His chubby mate followed his pal’s gaze. ‘Come on, let’s play dodgems,’ he said. ‘See if she’s got the guts to do the same.’

A joy rider, chased by a police car, swerved around a corner at high speed as the young muggers were half-way across the road. Skidding, the 4X4 crashed into them with a terrifying screech of brakes.

Then the 4x4 slithered sideways, wheels snatching at sodden tarmac and, as it did so, the stolen vehicle propelled both broken bodies into the open doorway of Mr. Wong’s Chinese Takeaway.






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Comments by other Members



Prospero at 07:48 on 25 September 2009  Report this post
Hi Jennifer,

Thanks for the read. It was good to see that to follow their Chow Mein and Pizza these two got their just desserts and at the hands of a fellow criminal. Poetic justice indeed. Well done, a deftly told tale for our times.

A bijou picquette. Envelop, not enevelope.

Best

John

tusker at 07:57 on 25 September 2009  Report this post
Thanks John.

I'm into sweet revenge this week. Thanks too for pointing out my bad spelling mistake.

Jennifer

Prospero at 13:27 on 25 September 2009  Report this post
Ee! That's not so bad. ;

Prosp

LMJT at 15:29 on 25 September 2009  Report this post
Hi Jennifer,

Good revenge tale here. Like someone else said, I liked the fact that they had their just desserts.

Dejected and hungry, they both stood under the railway bridge sheltering from the rain. Darkness seemed to envelope them as both wore dark clothing with hoods pulled up over their heads. Alert, they heard the steady clip of heels approach. Both leant back against dripping concrete.

Really atmospheric paragraph.

Thanks for the read.

Liam

tusker at 15:40 on 25 September 2009  Report this post
Thanks Liam.

Glad you liked it.

Jennifer

Laurence at 23:49 on 26 September 2009  Report this post
Great piece of writing - excellent images.

Laurence


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