On a day like today, Miranda…

Saturday August 9, 2003...
Los Angeles,

Miranda’s ten o’clock. A look at her watch and it’s still five to. She was quite sure that ten o’clock had come and gone, she’d almost swear to it, but she won’t.
A few magazines on the table and Miranda sat forward, nerves at her again.
A look at the walls, that unappealing pale blue, pictures and posters and a few feet away, a little woman on the phone who smiled a lot.
Miranda stood up and moved closer to one of the posters, a little girl, holding a bottle of milk, advertising dairy producers of America, what’s drawn Miranda in is the little girl. Looking away, a woman sitting to her left, hands between her knees and looking down at the floor, toes pointing together and Miranda wondered if there was a problem. Miranda turned and saw the reception area, a tall woman leaning on the counter, her finger tapping on the top of it and then nodding. Another picture, near the window, this one is about the proper way of sterilising baby’s bottles.
Miranda doesn’t want to look at her watch again, but her eyes are drawn to it and she ignores them.
The little woman clicked her phone off, smiled at Miranda and sat down.
A tan coloured door swung open, Miranda looked at the tall thin figure of Carolyn Lewis, her specialist, her white coat being tugged back around her legs again, perhaps, Miranda thought, if she did it up, she wouldn’t have that problem. Carolyn held a light blue folder in her left hand, her right hand holds a pen, her thumb clicking away madly at the end of it. Carolyn smiled at Miranda as her glasses try and escape off her nose, pushing them back again and laughing, “Do you want to come through?”
Miranda took a deep breath and if she was nervous before, she’s almost raging now.
“So how’ve you been? Not over doing it I hope?” Carolyn smiled again and sat on the corner of her desk. Miranda sat on a hard plastic chair,
“I’ve been fine, thanks. I’m trying to buy a house and I guess you know how annoying that can be.”
“Yeah, been there, so, sixteen weeks? Shall we have a look?”
Miranda dropped her bag and jacket on the chair and went to a screen and pulled her top up and over her head, she pulled her shoes off and kicked them aside, Carolyn, meanwhile, had been reading through Miranda’s notes, “You haven’t been drinking have you?”
“No, I’ve been off that for a good while now.”
Miranda doesn’t say anything about the party later. She slipped the gown on and sat on the trolley.
“No morning sickness, or any sickness in general?”
“Like I said, I’ve been fine.”
Carolyn stood next to her, a smile and then taking Miranda’s wrist, “We can do a scan, I just want to do your stats first.”
Miranda nodded and relaxed.
Carolyn then got Miranda to lie back, lifting the paper gown, “Nothing wrong down here?”
“No. I think everything is where it should be.” Miranda laughed.
“Any problems going to the bathroom?”
Miranda shook her head, “No, that seems to be working okay.”
Carolyn nodded, “We can do a blood test if you like?”
“Would something be wrong?”
“No, not at all, just to keep it sunny side up Miranda, just a precaution.”
“Yeah, okay, perhaps it would be best.”
“Right…Okay, right, I’ll do your bp and we’ll get the scan out of the way, do the dreaded blood work so birthday girl can go out and enjoy herself.”
Carolyn patted Miranda’s leg, lowering the gown. Sixteen weeks! Miranda almost
screamed, time that had passed so quickly…
After taking Miranda’s blood pressure and blood then writing up her notes, Carolyn powered up the ultrasound and Miranda made herself comfortable.
“Do you have any plans, Miranda?”
Miranda nodded, “Yeah, there’s a party in Barstow, just me and a few friends, nothing too heavy, got to think about baby here.”
Carolyn smiled at her, “Are you driving out there?”
“Yeah, but it’ll be okay. Did I tell you about Clarissa?”
Carolyn’s soft laugh, Miranda and her cars,
“No, but I need to ask you to take it easy, I seem to remember you getting a little carried away, so please, just watch yourself and no booze young lady!”
The gown is lifted and Carolyn pulled on a pair of latex gloves, pulling Miranda’s gown well out of the way, then applying lube that made Miranda shudder, why is that always cold? And then, on a monitor, strange cloud like formations in black and white, A weird world as Carolyn moved the transducer around and that sudden stop as in the top right hand side of the screen, a tiny, tiny movement, Miranda gasped and Carolyn smiled at her and nodded, “Yeah… there she is…”
Miranda’s daughter, just a couple of inches long, Miranda wiped her eyes, on screen…Molly.
Carolyn pressed a few buttons and turned to Miranda, “A couple of pictures Mommy can take home with her.”
Miranda wiped her eyes again, using the gown to wipe away the gunk from her stomach, her excitement and nerves that had been quietly humming away in the background, had now woken up with such enthusiasm.
Carolyn handed her a couple of small photos, Miranda looked at them and as she got herself off the trolley, gave Carolyn a huge hug.
“Oh, keep an eye on your weight, I know you’ve got mad cravings, but just take it easy.” Carolyn wrote in her file and handed Miranda an appointment card,
“Okay, Miss Jefferson, I’ll see you in the next two weeks. Be good!”
Miranda was still looking at the photo’s after leaving the clinic, still looking as she bumped into a lamp post and she giggled and laughed, putting Molly’s pictures away.
Thirty one years old today and a birthday that’s like no other.

Between hospital and hell …

Sunday August 10, 2003.
Los Angeles,

The waiting room and those awful cream coloured walls and that awful stink. That barely hidden smell that Henry hates, that smell that gets in and just won’t leave you alone, he’s tired, impatient and just fed up with waiting. The phone call. That phone call! He’s here and waiting and waiting and he’s been crying and as if it’s all too much. He settled on the chair again, the door opened and there’s a man in a dark coloured surgical gown looking at him. He makes a strange swishing sound as he walks toward him. Henry hopes that he’s bringing good news, something…
“Mr. Jefferson? I’m Charles Hendricks, senior trauma surgeon. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Just tell me how she is.” Henry ran a hand over his face, it felt wet and like the rest of him, his voice sounded tired as well.
“I need you to sign a consent form.”
Henry looked sharply at Hendricks, “Consent? Consent for what?”
Hendricks bit his tongue, a short breath, “We’ll have to do a termination.”
“Miranda…she’s…oh Jesus!”
“Please Mr. Jefferson, we can’t save the baby. I’m sorry.”
Henry’s shoulders slumped, lowering his head into his hands, “Are you absolutely certain there’s no other way?”
Hendricks sat next to him, “I’m sorry but there isn’t.”
Henry started crying again.
“We’re battling to save your daughter, please, I know this is difficult for you, but you must.”
“Sign a piece of paper…so easy isn’t it. Don’t make me do that…” Henry felt so scared, he nearly ran from the room. He looked at Hendricks and shook his head, “Please…no..”
“Mr. Jefferson, we have to do an emergency hysterectomy, If we don’t, we’ll lose the both of them.”
This is it. This isn’t a choice. The baby is lost, he signs and Miranda will damn him for it.
Henry slowly nodded and looked away at the wall, tears streamed down his face, he felt so weak, just torn and so tired.

Henry opened his eyes and saw Kathryn. He seemed startled, how long had he slept for?
“I got your call so here I am.” Kathryn said and she sounded so cold.
Henry stood up and looked at her, “Our daughter-”
“Which one?” Kathryn cut him off so fast, she sat in a chair and looked at him.
“Miranda.”
“And Jackie?”
“I called her,” Henry said, “she’s getting the next flight in.”
Kathryn sat back and crossed her legs, “So are you going to tell me why I let you drag me here?”
“Miranda had a car crash.”
“That was bound to happen. Sooner or later…”
Henry felt as if someone had just ran up to him and ripped all the air out of his lungs, he looked at Kathryn, so shocked at what she said.
“Can’t you hear yourself? That’s our daughter in there and that’s all you can say?”
Kathryn didn’t look at him, “What would you have me say? Henry, this is all your fault. You know exactly what she‘s like!”
“Miranda lost her baby.”
“Well, what do you expect? The way she carried on! Another bastard the world won‘t miss.”
“What did you say?” Henry took a step back, hardly able to believe what she’d said. How could she?
Kathryn looked up at him and her steel grey eyes just locked on his face, “She’s a lesbian, Henry! Why in god’s name would she want a baby?”
“I think you’d better get away from me. I don’t know why I even called you.”
Kathryn stood up and shrugged, “Maybe she got what she deserved.”
Oh the rage that filled Henry, he wanted to hit her, wanted to shake her until she fell apart, he wanted to do something and he couldn’t. He stood no more than a few inches from her and couldn’t do a damned thing. He closed his eyes and sighed.
“Please Kathryn. Just go away.”
Henry’s teeth clashed together and he clenched his fists, another tear and he dropped his head.
She wedged her purse under her arm, didn’t even look at him as she left.

The arrival of Jackie had Henry almost jump off his seat. She smiled and hugged him, dropped her bag and then took his hand, she sat with him and without letting him go.
“Dad, how is she?”
“She’s in intensive care. She’s such a mess…”
“Have you seen the Doctors?”
“Yeah, we just have to wait and see… She lost the baby.”
“Oh shit…”
Henry looked at her, “Did you know?”
Jackie nodded, “Yeah..,” She stopped and looked up at the wall, her tears had started and she fought to keep them back, “she called me a couple of weeks ago, she was so happy, I thought I was talking to someone else. Did she tell you?”
Henry shook his head, “I found out tonight when I had to sign a consent form.”
Jackie hugged him again. Henry then dropped his arms and rubbed his eyes.
“Why don’t you go home? I’ll stay and if anything happens, I’ll call you.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt so tired Jackie. What am I going to say to her?”
“Dad, go home. Rest and we’ll talk about this later.”
Henry wiped his hands on his legs, “Your mother was here.”
“So where is she?”
“I told her to go away. I couldn’t have her near me.”
“Dad, I’m sorry.”
Henry shook his head, “Not you Jackie. Don’t say that for her.”
Jackie looked around and stood up, “You go home. I’m going to find me a Doctor and we’ll find out what’s going on.”
Henry stopped at the door, “You will call, won’t you?”
“Of course. Now, go on. I love you Dad.”
“I love you Jackie…” And how his voice sounded so tired as he left.


Miranda, broken…

Tuesday August 12, 2003.
Los Angeles,

Miranda moaned. The only eye she could open is her right, the left side felt…heavy, a strange, muffled beeping noise, lights and someone sitting nearby.
Aware that someone is there, she tried to speak but her voice wouldn’t obey, just a dry croaking noise and a sharp pain. Her right eye blinked, to clear her field of vision, tubes and wires and…a question; What’s going on?
Miranda tried moving, her right arm moved but nothing on her left, she looked at the fingers on her right hand, not all of them worked, a couple are taped and splinted, more pain from her shoulder and she dropped her hand.
Her legs… something wrong here, trying to move them and they just don’t respond, a sudden sharp pain from her hips, her eye closed and another question, where am I?
The shape that was sitting is now leaning over her, so close and yet not recognised, she can’t see the face, it’s a woman, a soft fragrance and as the woman sat next to her again, she saw the tired face of her sister, Jackie.
“Miranda..?” Jackie’s soft voice and she leaned closer, “can you hear me?”
Miranda moaned, Jackie smiled at her as Miranda closed her eye again.

“Miranda?”
A voice that she doesn’t recognise. Who is that?
She opened her eye on a tanned looking man, a light blue coat or something, he smiled at her, “Hi! I’m Joel Bennett, I’m your physician. Your sister Jackie is here and your Dad’s on his way.”
Miranda moaned.
“It’s okay, don’t try and talk, you have a throat injury, it’s damaged your larynx, it should be fine in a few days. “
“Why does her eye look like that?” That’s Jackie’s voice. Miranda tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it.
“Trauma to her head. The blood vessels have ruptured, that’s why it appears red, nothing too serious.” Bennett looked at Miranda’s medical charts, slowly nodded, flipped a page, rubbed the end of his nose, another page, his eyebrows raised, a look at Miranda and then at Jackie, “Miranda, are you in any pain?”
Miranda moaned and slightly shook her head.
Bennett put the charts back at the end of the bed, another look at Miranda, “I’ll be back in a minute.”
He turned and walked away.

Voices. From here. Jackie is here and so is someone…Dad?
They’re talking about her. About where she is, what’s happened. Miranda tried to move, nothing but more pain, she moaned and Dad turned and smiled at her.
The man in the light blue coat is there, just behind Dad, he’s talking and Miranda can’t quite hear what he’s saying.

To be continued..?