The Accident by Laurence - WriteWords.org.uk

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The Accident

by Laurence

Posted: 29 August 2009
Word Count: 98

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When I got up yesterday I had no idea I would now be sitting in a police cell shaking uncontrollably. I wasn't cold; I was coming to terms with what I had done.
I was tired and had been drinking; the child stepped out from nowhere. I panicked; the crumpled body lay on the side of the road. I drove on; I blocked it out of my mind until the door bell rang. Two officers arrested me; there had been a witness.
God forgive me, a young life snuffed out. How could I ever face my sister again?

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Comments by other Members

GaiusCoffey at 00:04 on 30 August 2009 Report this post

Too believable for comfort.

Only criticism would be the "How could I ever face my sister again?" question which was a shocker as, although I can think of loads of reasons why she would be particularly important (not least his nephews/neices if he has any) none of these were mentioned. I'd probably have chosen to leave her out if it had been mine.

Other than that, and just as an aesthetic thing, with all of your sentences so rigidly in two sections, it might have been good to lay it out that way (no wording changes, btw, just layout...).

Anyway, enjoyed that.

<Added>

Ooh! Not to be mean, just noticed you're two words down on the Drabble. :)