Ocean drive…

Miranda cruising. The same stretch of highway where her mother had ended her days and she momentarily slows.
Wendy can feel something and Miranda glances at the side of the road. Just that feeling that it’s now so much better and even after all the shit she took off her mother, Miranda can’t quite let her mother go.
Treading on the throttle again, away from here and Miranda settles and lets those thoughts pass.
Wendy holds her hand and watches Miranda drive. Not much has been said, the goodbye from Jackie at the airport and then going home to their house and it’s almost back to the way it was.
Almost.
Miranda looks at the ocean and sees a place to pull over.
There’s a difference in Miranda now. After the delivery of that letter, it’s all changed.
Her resignation that Henry had not taken too kindly to.
He wanted to talk about it but Miranda wasn’t having it and she had walked out of his office and not even looking at Juliet Morgan and straight back to hers and wanting to get away.
Miranda swings the car around, just missing the safety barrier and coming to a stop.
Wendy knows something is going on and Miranda as yet, hasn’t said anything.
Slipping her seatbelt off and the engine is killed. Miranda then looking at Wendy and opening her door and getting out and walking to the low cliff and the ocean isn’t as far off as she’d want.
Wendy is wary of following her, maybe she should just sit and wait.
Miranda sits on the front fender, looking out there. She lowers her head and takes her sunglasses off, a look over her shoulder at Wendy and a smile.
“Is there something wrong?” Wendy asked.
Miranda slowly shook her head, “No. Do you think I’m trying to ram this through?”
“What, your leaving? If you really want out then no, I’d say not.”
“I might be wrong.” Miranda said.
Wendy took her seatbelt off, “Yeah, but you wanted this, are we leaving or not? Miranda you need to stop this shit and just stick with it.”
“I know that. I’m scared that this is all wrong and then what? I end up looking like some fucking idiot?”
“Why do you suddenly think that this is wrong?”
Miranda shrugged. Maybe the idea of looking like an idiot isn’t that too far off.
“As soon as Henry and me start to make roads, I clear off and let it go. I can’t just turn around and pretend that everything is okay, I can’t do that. Have I pushed him that far away I don’t want him back?”
Wendy got out of the car, gently closing the door,
“You and your dad have a long way to go. I don’t think you can rush this, It’s different between him and Jackie, but you and Henry are too similar in some things.”

“You mean that all it is between us is business?”
“No, not at all. It needs a lot of work, that‘s the two of you. All the stuff that‘s happened between you isn‘t just going to disappear, you have to try and don‘t forget that I love you.” Wendy said.
Miranda smiled again, “Yeah and I love you.”
“If you want to want to change your mind it’s okay. I won’t hold it against you. Maybe you need more time to really think about leaving.”
Miranda stood up and put her glasses back on, a slight nod and then moving around the car, “Can I take you home?”
Wendy smiled at her, “With pleasure.”


Getting as clear as mud…

Wendy unclipped her bra listening to Miranda attempt to say something but she’s got her toothbrush wedged in her mouth and her words just don’t make any sense at all, Wendy pointed at her,
“Maybe you want to try that again without that!”
Miranda laughed and removed the brush,
“Sorry,” She said, “what I was saying was that I think we should head up to Raleigh and have a look around.”
Wendy dropped her bra in the wash basket, “Would we stay with Jackie?”
“No, I’d get a hotel room. I wouldn’t want to do the wrong thing in Jackie’s house.”
“Yeah, good point.” Wendy said.
Miranda made her way back to the bathroom. The thought of staying with Jackie and Graham and the kids isn’t such a bad idea. But, Miranda being what Miranda is just made Jackie a little nervous. The boys seeing aunt Miranda and Wendy together might raise questions that Jackie would find difficult to answer. She wouldn’t let Miranda explain, she swears too much.
The boys are smart enough, but they’d not met Wendy before. Wendy would probably love them and play games with them but the questions would still be there.
It could be that Miranda is making too much of it, it’s not something that she’d lose sleep over, so what is the deal here?
Miranda overdoing things as per usual.
The drive today. What exactly was the point of that?
An hour to drive up there, two minutes on the cliff and an hour back. What Miranda was that all about?
Something that won’t go away, or something that you want to keep hold of because if you let it go you could be so different?
This is getting stupid and Miranda rinses her mouth and clicks off the light.
Wendy reading again, the same book, but she looks up at Miranda and smiles as she approaches the bed. The book is closed quickly and Wendy sits and folds her arms as if she’s waiting for Miranda to say something.
It isn’t long in coming, Miranda lays back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling and a sigh,
“I think today was a little screwed up.” She said.
“You think?” Wendy replied.
“Am I supposed to say sorry?”
Wendy unfolded her arms, “No, not really, but maybe why we went up there in the first place, you could explain that?”
Miranda looked at Wendy, a smile at least, “I need to make a decision on what I’m doing. Not just about us moving, I want that, I really do but I keep thinking that it’s wrong and I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Do you want an honest opinion?” Wendy asked.
“Yeah, I would.”
Wendy nodded, “Okay, you work too hard. It‘s like you sometimes forget to come home again, I think you forget about you and here I mean the Miranda Nicole Jefferson that does exist, the one that I love and the one who is so unlike her combative counterpart. Without that fire and whatever you want to call it, you think you’ll lose something and you won’t. What you’ll get is a woman that can let her guard down and not be scared of herself.”
“Oh, now I’m not so sure I should have asked.” Miranda said.
“Well you did. That’s what I see, I’m not going over the same ground that we have before, I love you Miranda and I know damned well that you love me, nothing else matters, okay? So are we making love or are you too fucking tired?”
Miranda considered herself told. No, she isn’t tired and Wendy is going to be sorry she asked.
She rolled over, crawling her way up to Wendy, pushing the sheet out of her way, then moving Wendy’s legs apart and lying between them, a soft kiss and Miranda lifted her head,
“Can I just say that I love you.”
“Of course you can. Do you want to say it again just to make sure?”
Miranda laughed, “I love you Wendy.”
Wendy pulled Miranda’s head down again, “I love you Miranda.” She said and kissed her.

Miranda and the return of Clarissa…

…”Okay, dad. I’ll see you on Saturday.” Miranda said and hung up the phone.
As soon as she got off that call, the phone beeped again,
“Hello?”
“I’ve got Albie on one. Do you want him?”
Miranda smiled, “Shit yeah! Put him on!”
The phone clicked and here’s Albie and hopefully with very good news,
“Hey baby, how are things?” Miranda asked.
“Hi Miranda. I got some real good news for you.” He said.
“Clarissa?”
Albie laughed, “Oh yeah. She’s ready. Just givin’ her a bit of a polish and she’s all yours.”
Miranda jumped off her chair, this is great!
“Could you hold her ’til Saturday, I’m going to Long Beach and she needs a run.”
“Yeah, whatever you need. She’ll be safe, don’t you worry ’bout a thing. I’ll leave the dogs in her if you like.” Albie said and he sounded as if he’s still laughing.
“No you fucking won’t! Just keep her locked up ’til then.”
“Yeah, I’m kidding Miranda, whenever you need her, you know where she’ll be.”
“Thanks man, really.” Miranda said.
“Shall I send you the bill?” He then asked.
“Yeah, send it to my office. I’ll take care of it.” Miranda replied.
“Thanks. I’ll see ya Saturday.”
“Oh yeah, you will!”
The call is ended and Miranda looked at her door and then having to tell Wendy about Clarissa.
Miranda pulled the door open and seeing Wendy at her desk, she called her and Wendy looked up at her and smiled,
“You got a minute?” Miranda asked.
Wendy stood up. Walking toward Miranda who had this look on her face that kind of moved between naughty and nice. Wendy wondered what it is she’s walking into.
“I got some news for you.” Miranda said.
“Good or bad?” Wendy replied, sitting in the chair by Miranda’s desk.
“A bit of both.”
“Oh fuck Miranda! Now what have you done?”
“You remember Clarissa?”
Wendy stared at Miranda and not in a nice way either, “Yeah. I thought she was junk.”
Miranda slowly shook her head, moving to the front of her desk and thinking about being careful about what she’s about to say.
“I got a call from Albie a few minutes ago.” Miranda said.
“Yeah, go on…”
“I’m picking her up on Saturday.” Miranda said and she said this quite fast, hoping to get it done before Wendy realised.
“You’re getting her back? After what it did to you?”
“I know you’re not happy about it but I had to.”
Wendy stood up, looking so angry now, “Not happy? Miranda, what the fuck are you on? That thing nearly killed you and I thought it had gone!”
“I had her in storage and I kept thinking about it and I just couldn’t part with her.”
“That’s a really poor excuse. It’s a fucking dinosaur and you should have got rid of it years ago.”
“It’s not her fault, it was mine! If I hadn’t been so fucking stupid, I would have been okay, it’s not Clarissa, it was me!”
Wendy started toward the door, “I’m not having this conversation with you. I’m just wasting my breath. I don’t want to know, I really don’t!”
“Wendy, please…”
“No, Miranda. I mean it, I’m not having that thing anywhere near me. I know it’s your car, but remember what happened.”
“That was before I knew you, that’s not fair Wendy, It’s what I want, just this.”
Wendy had the door open, looking at Miranda and shaking her head in frustration,
“I don’t care. I know it’s yours. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Miranda got up and walked toward her, “I promise I’ll be careful.”
“I’ll need that in writing.” Wendy said.
“Fine,” Miranda said, “you want it in blood?”
“Don’t be fucking stupid!” Wendy snapped.
Miranda stopped and turned back to her desk, “I’m picking her up Saturday.” She said.
“Okay, you do that!” Wendy said and slammed the door.
This isn’t the way this is supposed to go, Miranda thought.
Clarissa causing trouble and she’s not even out of the garage yet.
Oh fuck! Miranda thought, I shouldn’t have said anything.
Not wanting to leave the situation like this, Miranda went out and stood at Wendy’s desk. Wendy is clearly not happy with her and slams her pen down,
“Now what?” She asked.
“Could we not do this?”
“I’m not having a fight with you over Clarissa. I’ve seen the scars, up close Miranda!”
“I know. Look, Are you coming with me to Long Beach on Saturday?”
“Not in Clarissa, no. I told you, I don’t want to know.”
Miranda turned and walked away, “I don’t fucking believe this…”

Something secret, something told…

Henry’s appearance at Wendy’s desk startled her. His shirt open, his tie away from his neck, she’s not used to seeing him like this. Almost grinning, thinking that Miranda had got at him, but there’s a look on his face that tells Wendy that this isn’t funny.
Speaking softly, he asks her to join him in Miranda’s office. Wendy closed the door after her, worried that something is wrong.
Henry smiled at her and her worry began to slip away.
“Miranda is asleep.” He said.
“Asleep? Where?”
“Upstairs, it’s okay, I thought I’d tell you.”
“Thanks, I did begin to wonder where she’d gone.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” Wendy replied, thinking that maybe she shouldn’t have said that.
“Has she said anything about having kids?”
Wendy looked startled, “No. Not that I recall.”
“You know she can’t have kids, she did tell you that?” He asked, noting the slight stammer in his voice.
“No,” Wendy said, “she didn’t.”
Henry looked at the floor, “I’m surprised she didn’t tell you.”
“It’s not something we’d talked about. Is this because of that crash?”
Henry nodded. Wendy sat and looked up at him,
“Mr. Jefferson-”
Henry cut her off,
“Henry. Call me Henry please, Wendy.”
“Henry, Miranda never said anything about that. The accident itself, yeah, she told me that and well, I don’t think I need say any more.”
“I’m not sure I should have said anything myself. I just thought you knew.” He said.
“Well, I know now.” Wendy said.
Henry started for the door, “Look, leave her sleep for a while, it’ll be okay. We’ll see the both of you tomorrow.”
“Yes Henry and thank you.”
“Oh,” He then added, “Miranda told me about Clarissa, I’ve asked her to leave it with Albie.”
Wendy nodded. That car just won’t go away, Wendy thought. With Miranda, Clarissa won’t be left anywhere. She wants the car and being in the garage isn’t going to just make it disappear. Maybe, if she has the drive, then perhaps it will be enough to say okay, I’ve done that let’s leave it and move on.
The flip side is that if that drives becomes something else.