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Chosen - Chapter 21

by fbtoast 

Posted: 12 August 2009
Word Count: 2211
Summary: A change of scene


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The long drive to Norton was not a comfortable one. Even in more congenial circumstances, it would have been tedious, but since most of it took place in an atmosphere of grim discontent, they were heartily sick of each other by the time they finally glimpsed the lights of the city a few days later.

Hex had never been to Norton. His life, up till a few weeks earlier, had been circumscribed by Fenech and the farefolds of Lisle and Fleet. He had never been to any town much bigger than Market Canby. He mistook the orange glow in the sky, which was visible long before the city itself appeared behind the long low escarpment of the Wisbech Downs, for the sign of some huge conflagration and could scarcely believe his eyes when the source was revealed as the myriad lights of the capital, cut off abruptly by the sweep of the natural harbour of Colfe-Maritime.

Even though the evening was far advanced, the streets were still crowded with people. He marvelled unashamedly at the enormous buildings that seemed designed to crush the humble onlooker into awed submission, the endless streams of cars and coaches and horses and buses, street stalls selling roast meats, drinks, baubles, laces, flanked by juggling entertainers and mountebanks performing acrobatics to appreciative impromptu crowds. There was a fleeting glimpse of a fountain in a passing square, where tables were laid out and uproarious revellers were feasting on great mounds of lobster and crab and shrimp, served on heaps of ice. Music was playing, people were singing and shouting, cars sounded their horns, it was a perpetual riot.

As they drove on and on through ever more crowded streets, with the buildings getting grander and more imposing on every side, he felt almost dazed by the multitudinous splendour of the Western capital. The chauffeur had to sound the horn repeatedly to clear a path before the slowly progressing car. The people that milled on either side were from every corner of the Empire – people with features and garb he had never seen before, speaking tongues he had never heard.

‘Is it a festival?’ he said. ‘Where are they all going?’

Nina gave a giggle, immediately suppressed.

Mrs Breitling smiled. ‘This is Norton, my friend,’ she said. ‘This is our great city on a rather quiet night in the middle of summer, when everyone flees to the islands and we all complain that the city is utterly dead. You will never see anywhere more magnificent, not if you go to the furthest reaches of the Empire. And I flatter myself that the name of Juliet Breitling is not the most insignificant in this city.’

The car had passed through a broad archway in a massive stone wall and they were now in a quieter neighbourhood. The houses were still large and imposing, but the crowds had thinned and the streets were lined with tall old trees. As the car climbed up a low hill, here and there between gaps in the houses, they caught glimpses of the glittering harbour, the lights of scores of ships dancing over the waves. The rich smell of the harbour wafted up to them on the breeze.

The house that they finally stopped at was not the biggest of the houses that they had passed, but it had one of the best positions, with a clear view of the harbour to the west and of the city all around. It was built in the classical style, not that Hex had any clear notion of this, only that it seemed uncommonly elegant, well-proportioned and substantial. The windows on the lower floors were lit and they could see people in evening dress at table.

The chauffeur had turned off the engine. In the silence, Mrs Breitling turned to Hex and said, ‘This is Ashurst House, the residence of Stephanius Wallop in Norton. I assume you do not wish to go up and announce yourself directly? Let Nina go in and ask for your friend Torrens. Never fear: Nina can be relied upon to handle the matter with complete discretion.’

Nina seemed quite sanguine at the prospect of appearing uninvited at the home of one of the most senior figures in the Empire. She got out of the car and trod neatly up the steps to the door which opened immediately, without her needing to ring. She spoke to the footman who appeared in the square of light and was immediately let in. The door closed behind her and not too long afterwards opened again to let her out.

Nina got back into the car and said to Hex, ‘You’re to go to the gate in the back wall. Torrens will meet you there.’ To her mother she said, ‘He said I should call on him whenever I please.’

Mrs Breitling patted her hand. As the chauffeur was driving them round the block, she said to Hex, ‘I will send word to Ashurst if Maitre Weller can help us in the matter of your friend.’ They had reached a dark back street, which was little more than an unlit lane, made even shadowier by the trees that overhung it from the gardens of the surrounding mansions. It was too narrow for the car. She gave Hex her hand and he kissed her fragrant skin for the final time.

‘This will not be the last that we hear of you, Hunter, my dear friend,’ she said in her sweet, surprisingly girlish voice. ‘I am sure you think me very foolish, but I am never wrong in these matters.’

Hex tried to thank her again, but she would hear no more. ‘Go quickly,’ she said. ‘And give my regards to Stephanius, if you see him.’

Hex and Cornelia got out of the car and stood hidden in the shadow of the lane as it drew away. There was an ornate gilt and iron gate barring their entrance into the lane, but there was a smaller gate set into that ornamental gate and this one, although the bolt was drawn, was not locked. They slipped through quickly and were immediately lost to sight in the almost complete darkness of the lane.

They stumbled forward, running their hands against the mossy brick, feeling and hearing damp leaves underfoot. It was the first time they had found themselves alone together since the scene at the breakfast table on the morning of their departure from Market Canby. Cornelia said awkwardly, as she shuffled along behind Hex, taking comfort from the sound of his regular steady breathing, ‘I’m sorry about… what I said.’

Hex said nothing, but kept walking, keeping his eyes fixed on the lit windows of Ashurst House up ahead. He had counted the number of houses from the corner, but in fact it was easy to spot Ashurst House, as it was the only one which showed any signs of life.

‘Hex?’ said Corny. ‘Did you hear? I said I was – '

‘Forget it,’ he said shortly.

‘No,’ she persisted. ‘It was wrong. I was talking nonsense. You must believe me.’

‘You were right,’ he said coolly. ‘Don’t apologise. You’re Dega, you don’t apologise.’

He had said it deliberately to wound. Cornelia opened her mouth and then closed it again and her chin stiffened in a way which, had she but known it, exhibited the true Degaletera manner.

Hex’s fingers, running over the rough brick, suddenly encountered the smoothness of painted wood. They were directly behind Ashurst House now. Very softly, Hex knocked twice. He was answered at once by a single knock. They heard a key turning softly in the well-oiled lock, then the door opened. They couldn’t see anything beyond it, but they both slipped through immediately.

Torrens was standing just inside the door. He was wearing some kind of cloak with a hood thrown over his fair hair. He put a finger to his lips and gestured to them to follow him. He passed sure-footed up the garden, noiseless on the worn paving stones, followed by Hex and Corny. At the back of the house, there was a broad terrace and glass doors were thrown open so that the Councillor’s guests could enjoy the cool night air. Torrens led them between narrow shadowed alleys of box and privet to a small door under an overhanging section of the house. This was already open and directly inside there was a steep wooden staircase, painted white.
He led them up the service staircase, one, two, three flights in complete silence, stepping carefully to avoid creaking, before he opened another door. He made them wait on the staircase while he checked to make sure the corridor beyond was empty and then gestured them quickly through. Behind was a hallway panelled in dark wood with a narrow carpet in rich colours running down the length. Torrens opened a door halfway along and quickly ushered them through. It was only when they were in his room and he had turned the key in the lock that he relaxed a little.

The curtains in the room were drawn shut. It was a smallish room, simply and neatly furnished in solid oak – just a narrow bed, a wardrobe and dresser, a desk placed beneath the window, and a tall set of shelves, filled with books.

They were all still standing, but Torrens, remembering his manners now, said suddenly, but kindly, ‘You must be Cornelia. Hex has told me so much about you. Won’t you sit down?’ He had shed his cloak when they entered the room. Underneath he was in formal evening dress. He would have looked odd if Hex was not used to seeing him in the Fenech uniform, which was in its own way, just as odd. Smaller and slighter than his friend, with a mop of wispy white-blond hair, there was a look in his eye which gave him the demeanour of a depraved angel.

‘I had to tell them I was feeling unwell,’ said Torrens. ‘I hope no-one comes up to check. I expect they won’t. Stephanius has to look after his guests. I told them I was just going to go to bed and they were not to disturb me.

‘I’m surprised to see you here so soon,’ he went on. ‘Oh, Han sent word to expect you. Not very discreetly either, I might add. It was the purest chance that I happened to intercept the wire. If Phileo (that’s Stephanius’ secretary) had seen it, the game would have been up. How did you get here so fast? And where is Anver?’

When they had filled him in on everything that had occurred since they left Vaux, he said, ‘If Juliet Breitling is working on your behalf, that will make a world of difference.’ At Fenech, Hex was his protector; he was rather enjoying being able to show that, in his own world, he had knowledge and that he, in his turn, could defend his defender. ‘You are still their prime suspect. We have to be able to prove your innocence. That is, supposing you are innocent.’

He glanced quickly at Hex, embarrassed. ‘You are innocent, aren’t you?’ His round blue eyes were filled with concern. ‘You can tell me, you know. I’m sure there were mitigating circumstances.’

Hex grimaced. ‘Of course I’m innocent! Why does everyone keep asking me that? Do you honestly think me capable of killing anyone, let alone my liegelord?’

Torrens didn’t reply to the question, but he did look relieved. ‘Of course if you didn’t do it, that makes things simpler. We must get Stephanius involved, both with your case and that of the Under Spellman. Don’t worry – he won’t turn you in. Not if he believes in your innocence.’

At this point, Cornelia interrupted with a jaw-cracking yawn. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘I’m dead on my feet. Have you got anywhere for us to sleep, Torrens? Please?’

Torrens showed them to a neat little room at the end of the corridor, little different from his own, assuring her that she would not be disturbed that night. Corny seemed in a hurry to get rid of them, so the two boys left her washing in the basin of water Torrens’ foresight had thoughtfully provided.

When Torrens heard the full story of what Hex had seen on the night of Inigo’s death, his eyes widened and he whistled. ‘So that’s their game, is it? This is dynamite, Hex. It’s no wonder they’re happy to put it about that you’ve fled to the Waste. Everyone will assume your guilt. They’ll get their place on the Council, through Ephraim. No questions asked, no fuss, no mess. You must come and tell Stephanius about this at once. Heppleworth’s already making a play to take up the Dega seat on the Council. The Prince was bad enough. Heppleworth would be insufferable. And what is more, his influence might be enough to tip the balance against us. The last thing we need on Council now is another hardliner. Especially with news of fresh uprisings in the Margenaria daily. The Wallops and the Dega have never seen eye to eye, but at least when Welbeck was alive, he kept the peace. No-one dared to move against him.’






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Comments by other Members



SJ Williamson at 08:39 on 13 August 2009  Report this post
Nicole.

I love the sound of Norton, and could almost smell the sea and hear the reverie in the streets, as you described the town. Beautiful imagery here Nicole.

This story is so wonderful, and I read through the chapters in a flash whenever you post them. When I reach the end, I'm so disappointed that I can't go on to the next chapter.

Only a few things to ask.

In the first paragraph, you say that the occupants of the car are sick of each other. It's just me, I'm sure, but I'd like to know who is in the car. Think the reader would understand why there was at atmosphere if we knew. Corny isn't mentioned until a few paragraphs later, and I wasn't sure she was even there at first.

She gave Hex her hand and he kissed her fragrant skin for the final time.


- would you consider saying "Juliet gave Hex her hand"? It sounds more intimate and lets us know who he's kissing (although I could guess)!!

There was an ornate gilt and iron gate barring their entrance into the lane, but there was a smaller gate set into that ornamental gate and this one,


- lots of gates!!

I wanted Corny to fight back when Hex didn’t really accept her apology!! He annoyed me!!

If Phileo (that’s Stephanius’ secretary) had seen it,


- would it still read okay if you put "If Phileo, Stephanius' secretary, had seen it ..."? I stumbled over the brackets a bit.

I so enjoy reading this wonderful story Nicole.

SJxx





fbtoast at 19:38 on 13 August 2009  Report this post
there are lots of gates! Good spot, SJ, will remove a few. Don't worry, Corny gets her awful revenge. This silent walk round the backs of the houses is a bit of a turning point for her...

SJ Williamson at 20:00 on 13 August 2009  Report this post
I'm very much looking forward to it. Dying to know what happens.

SJxx

StephB at 09:17 on 14 August 2009  Report this post
Nicole,

I've said it before, but you have such a knack for imagery and painting a picture; I love this story.

Like SJ, I was furious with Hex for not accepting Corny's apology - you've really created an atmosphere between them - I can't wait to read what Corny has in store for Hex...

Steph x

Mand245 at 07:28 on 15 August 2009  Report this post
What a wonderfully descriptive chapter. You paint such a strong and vibrant picture of Norton that I have no problem visualising this busy harbourside town. I think you handle the obviously growing tension between Hex and Corny extremely well. I can fell trouble brewing here and can't wait to find out what happens next. I do, as usual, have one or two very minor comments. Very unusually for Chosen, the end of this chapter left me feeling slightly flat. I'm not quite sure why but I felt maybe that there was a line or two missing from the end. It almost seemed to stop in mid-flow. For me I think that it's just a question of a little shuffling around of the last paragraph. Personally I think it would be more dramatic to end with:

The Prince was bad enough. Heppleworth would be insufferable. And what is more, his influence might be enough to tip the balance against us.


This line suggests what might happen and so gives the hook, whereas, the line you finish with now, "No-one dared move against him." is a reflection on past events. Just a thought...


Even in more congenial circumstances, it would have been tedious, but since most of it took place in an atmosphere of grim discontent, they were
This didn't scan quite right for me. I thinki I would delete the comma after "circumstances" and then put the second comma after "but" rather than after "tedious"


The house that they finally stopped at was not the biggest of the houses that they had passed,

Just a personal thing - I would have said: "The house at which they finally stopped..."

‘This is Ashurst House, the residence of Stephanius Wallop in Norton. I assume you do not wish to go up and announce yourself directly?

I don't think you need to say "in Norton" because we know we are there, unless you are trying to give the impression that this is just one of his many residences, in which case I think I would say: "Stephanius Wallop's Norton residence."

The door closed behind her and not too long afterwards opened again to let her out.

I would put a comma after "and" and "afterwards"

Hex and Cornelia got out of the car and stood hidden in the shadow of the lane as it drew away. There was an ornate gilt and iron gate barring their entrance into the lane, but there was a smaller gate set into that ornamental gate and this one, although the bolt was drawn, was not locked. They slipped through quickly and were immediately lost to sight in the almost complete darkness of the lane.

At the beginning of this paragraph it shoulds as though they are already in the lane, but then there is a gate barring their way. Perhaps, for clarity, in the firwst line you could just say "stood hidden in the shadows..."


He would have looked odd if Hex was not used to seeing him in the Fenech uniform,

I think this should be "if Hex had not been used to..."

there was a look in his eye which gave him the demeanour of a depraved angel.

I wasn't sure about the term "depraved angel", in view of the fact that it seems totally out of context of what we see of the character in the rest of this chapter.

If Phileo (that’s Stephanius’ secretary) had seen it,

I agree with SJ about the use of brackets here - I always find them a little out of place in dialogue.

basin of water Torrens’ foresight had thoughtfully provided.

I'd delete the word "foresight" which seems unnecessary

I'm such a fan of Chosen and this was another consistantly good chapter. Don't wait too long before posting the next one, will you?

Mand



fbtoast at 14:07 on 15 August 2009  Report this post
Hi Mand

All good points and corrections duly made. The ending is abrupt. I've chopped and changed the chapter endings around so much, some of them don't make much sense and this is one of them! I'll probably go back and slice it up differently at some point. I'll post the next chapter up soon, so you'll see it does just flow on from this one. It's all one long chapter in fact.

Nicole

nezelette at 21:17 on 03 September 2009  Report this post
Hi Nicole

Sorry for the enormous delay, but you know I have a wonderful excuse!

I thought it was a beautiful chapter, with gorgeous descriptions. It's so colourful, and has that dream-like quality that might appeal to children/teenagers.


She got out of the car and trod neatly up the steps to the door which opened immediately, without her needing to ring. She spoke to the footman who appeared in the square of light and was immediately let in.


I wasn't sure about the two 'immediately'

Smaller and slighter than his friend, with a mop of wispy white-blond hair, there was a look in his eye which gave him the demeanour of a depraved angel.


I loved that sentence. I can just picture him, naughty but sweet, like so many boys that age. It made me like him instantly.

I'll rush off to the next chapter

Nancy

nezelette at 21:19 on 03 September 2009  Report this post
Oh, I forgot to say that I'm not too sure about the ending. Maybe a bit more tension is needed?

By the way, I apologise if I repeat what others have said, I'm trying to catch up fast and haven't had time to read others' comments...


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