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Chosen - Chapter 20

by fbtoast 

Posted: 03 August 2009
Word Count: 804
Summary: very short chapter. I have problems with my chapter breaks!


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When Hex came down to breakfast the next morning, he found Cornelia sitting at the breakfast table in the pleasant parlour that overlooked the back garden, chewing morosely on a piece of toast and marmalade.

‘Hullo,’ he said, grabbing himself a piece of toast from the rack and flicking her nose with it. ‘Why so glum?’

He was personally feeling about ten feet tall that morning. He felt ready, if called upon, to go out and slay giants.

Corny glared at him, started to speak, relapsed into silence, then finally burst out, ‘To be perfectly frank, you make me sick.’

Hex was astonished. ‘Why? What’s happened?’

‘Oh, I suppose you have no idea.’

‘No, I don’t. What’s got into you, Corny, for heavens’ sake?’

‘You and that – that awful woman…’

Light dawned on Hex. ‘Oh – hh.’ He had the grace to look a little embarrassed, but then immediately rallied. ‘Don’t be such a baby, Cornelia. What ever happens between Juliet and me is none of your business anyway.’

He threw himself down in a spare chair and helped himself to eggs and bacon.

There was a smouldering silence.

‘You’re the most selfish person I know!’ Cornelia suddenly burst out with a passion.

Hex threw down his fork impatiently. ‘What’s the matter now?’

‘You don’t care about anyone but yourself and your precious – Juliet!’ she spat the name out with venom. ‘You haven’t even asked about Anver.’

‘Why? Have you heard anything?’ Hex sat up, immediately alert.

‘No!’

‘Well, I didn’t think you would have. What news could we possibly have had so soon? You’re being completely unreasonable, Corny. It’s not like you.’

‘Oh, just shut up,’ snapped Cornelia. ‘I can’t bear to talk to you. I loathe and despise you.’

Hex lost his temper. ‘Well, jump off back to Weal then. Who asked you to come along in the first place? You’ve done nothing but complain and moan all the way. I should have known better than to let a kid like you tag along.’

Cornelia flared up: ‘You’d just love that, wouldn’t you? You’re not going to get rid of me as easily as you got rid of Anver and Elisabeth. Someone has to come along and make sure Councillor Wallop takes up Spellman Liam’s case. And I obviously can’t count on you to do it. You’re too busy with – Juliet!’

‘Do as you please!’ Hex fired back. ‘You will anyway – all you bloody Dega are the same. You swan about the place, expecting everything to go your own way, and throwing your toys out of the pram when it doesn’t. What have you done for Anver anyway? I can tell you what I’ve done: Juliet’s giving us a lift to Norton. We leave today. And Maitre Weller is her advocate. You’ve heard of Maitre Weller, I suppose. She’s going to send word to him to aid Anver and his family.’

Cornelia blinked. ‘Why would she do that?’

‘Because she’s a good person! She’s a good kind decent woman, who’s made her own way in the world. She’s not a spoilt brat who thinks the rest of the world has to dance to her tune, just because she’s a Dega!’

‘I’m not a Dega!’ yelled Cornelia. ‘How dare you? I’m a Heppleworth.’

‘That’s so much better! A Heppleworth! Your people are slime. Low, sneaking, back-stabbing scum. I’m not surprised you were so keen to run away. If I had your parents, I would have bolted years ago.’

‘At least I have parents!’ screamed Cornelia. ‘At least my parents didn’t hate me so much they never even stayed around to raise me!’

She stopped short, appalled at what she had just said. There was a terrible frozen silence. Then Hex said icily, ‘You’d better finish your toast. We’re leaving directly after breakfast, if you’re coming with us. Otherwise, I’ll make arrangements to see that you get safely back to Weal.’ He pushed away his plate, most of the food untouched, and went out of the room.

‘Hex!’ shouted Cornelia. ‘Don’t! Come back! I’m sorry!’

There was no reply. She threw her toast down and burst into tears. It was at this moment that Nina chose to saunter into the breakfast room.

‘What’s the matter?’ she said, widening her eyes in mock surprise. ‘Isn’t your darling in a cooperative mood this morning?’

It was Cornelia’s turn to push her chair back, leaving her breakfast unfinished. She turned to Nina and said in a low grim voice, ‘I’ll never forgive you for that. I’m going to pay you back if it’s the last thing I do. You can count on it.’

‘Oooh,’ said Nina, sampling a strawberry from the bowl on the sideboard. ‘I’m so frightened.’ But her sally was wasted on Corny, who had already marched out of the room.






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Comments by other Members



nezelette at 23:50 on 03 August 2009  Report this post
Hi Nicole,

Oooh, I like all the arguments! Very exciting indeed! I really like this chapter, I don't think it matters at all if some are longer than others. It's much better than articial padding and cutting.

The pace is breathless, as usual, which I love. I also like the fact that Hex is growing up and changing in the course of the novel.

You've also managed to convey Corny's despair and jealousy really well. I can feel it when I read those chapters. Man it hurts! Nothing worse than teenage jealousy and unrequited love. Ouch!

Regarding Hex's sex exploits: I think it's handled very well here. The 'Juliet and me' bit is absolutely hilarious and ridiculous. Brilliant stuff. I really can't decide whether it's a problem or not. He is 16 after all, and even nowadays it would be legal. As I said before, it's totally fine for adults. I think the best would be to test it on teenagers of various ages to see if they find it shocking or not at all. Results would probably be interesting.

Great stuff!

Nancy


SJ Williamson at 11:54 on 04 August 2009  Report this post
WOW Nicole!

Great stuff here. I really enjoyed this chapter, although I was so tense and anxious during the argument ... a good sign, I feel.

Hex and Corny's characters are developing here, and it's wonderfully romantic. As Nancy says, unrequited love has that frustration bubbling under the surface. I'm hoping that Hex and Mrs Breitling actually just had a bit of a snog and that was his lot!!

I can see some drama heading our way, and it's very exciting.

SJxx

freynolds at 08:29 on 07 August 2009  Report this post
Hi Nicole,

I like the pace in this chapter. It is fast and just the right length. I also like the fact that you have not elaborated on what happened the night before, so that the reader is kept in suspense.

The argument between Hex and Corny is great and the exchanges just right.

Just a couple of little things I thought I'd mention;
She’s a good kind decent woman

She’s a good, kind and decent woman

‘Don’t! Come back! I’m sorry!’

‘Don’t! Come back! I’m sorry.’ I felt there were too many exclamation marks here.

Fabienne

Mand245 at 06:53 on 08 August 2009  Report this post
A terrific chapter. I think you portray the developing characters really well here and the emotions of the argument were beautifully observed - I think Corny's angst and Hex's sense of "Juliet-induce" superiority will strike a chord with many of your teenage readers!

She’s a good kind decent woman,

I'd put a comma after "good", but that was the only thing I could find in this chapter.

I'm dying to see whether this is about to be another parting of the ways. First Elisabeth, then Anver... is Hex about to find himself alone? Will they all meet up again later in the story? I can't wait to find out - I'm totally hooked on Chosen!

Mand

StephB at 09:56 on 10 August 2009  Report this post
Nicole,

I thought this was a fantastic chapter and I don't think you need to worry that its short - the length seemed just right for the subject.

I felt like you'd got Corny's angst just right and I really feel for her, but at the same time think that Hex was totally justified in his response - even if he is being a typically dense male, not realising that Corny is in love with him!!

I can't wait to read more...

Steph x


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